FI and the shower

GinaV0822

My MOH/BM's are throwing a shower for me in a couple of weeks.  I have been to a shower where the FI comes and opens the gifts with the bride to be.  I thought it was nice actually.  Would you find it weird if FI was there and was the only guy there?  

When FI and I discussed it a month ago he said he would be fine either way.  Do you think it's a good idea to have him there?  Did you have your FI there or not have him and wish you did?

jessicabessica

My H didn't come to my bridal shower, which was fine with me (and DH).  I think it would have been a little weird if he had been there, honestly.  Do your shower hostesses have a preference?  

Kate61487

H planned to come at the very end of my family shower to say hi and help load gifts, but ended up late and didn't actually see anyone.  He did attend his family shower almost the whole time (he came late b/c it was the morning after his b-party). 

I wouldn't think it was weird for your FI to be there, as long as he's cool with it.

emeejeeayen

I would be uncomfortable opening gifts that are for both of us by myself.

RamonaFlowers

DH did come to my shower, but it was honestly the only way I would have even gone. The shower was a surprise that his cousin (Who was our florist, and teamed up with my mom and grandma) threw under the guise of it being a "family get together" for his family. And it took place literally 24 hours after DH got home from being away for a month on business ... the morning of I actually told home "Oh, let's stay home today, I haven't had you to myself in FOREVER", and even kind of grumbled when he insisted we go to this party.

But, even when I got there and realized it was a shower, I really didn't want him to leave. Like I said, he'd been gone for a month and only got home the day before, I just wanted to be near him, lol.

Before my own shower happened, though, I never really thought twice about men attending baby or bridal showers (It's roughly a 50/50 split for what I've seen). It's their wedding/baby, too! If they want to be there, why not?

Lored

I've never been to a shower where the groom was around for the opening of the gifts. I think pretty much every shower I go to, the groom just shows up at the end to quickly thank everyone and say hello and hauls the loot out to the car. When I write it out, I guess it sounds tacky, but that's the way it's always done around here. The father of the bride usually shows up too for "gift assistance" at the end. I know some areas/circles do the whole Jack and Jill shower, but around me, I've never seen it. I think if he were the only guy, he might get a little bored after a while?

beardownbchs

At every shower I've been to, the groom has showed up towards the end to say hi and to help load the gifts Sometimes he's there while they open gifts. There was a a thread on this in C&T recently:

http://wedding.theknot.com/live-tv.aspx?bf=http%3a%2f%2fwww.theknot.com%2f%3fMsdVisit%3d1

Seems very diferent regionally. Some people seemed almost upset that a groom would be present. It depends on your circle.

1mobags

Mine was just yesterday and mine came for the whole thing..... It was lovely. His family got some time with him, we were able to both give everyone a little one on one time and we opened the gifts together. Truth to be told it made me more comfortable to have him there even though the only time we were together was during the gifts..... He was so busy working the room!

hoffse

I would have been ok with it, but this wouldn't really fly in my circle.  My shower was a ladies' luncheon at a country club, complete with crepes and wedding cake cookies.  I loved it, but it was SUPER girly.  He would have been out of place, and the ladies enjoyed being able to let loose a bit and gossip without a guy there.

shanding4787

FI was kind of at mine. It was at a restaurant and he just hung out at the bar. He had to bring me up there since it was a surprise. However his brothers and dad were all actually present at my shower which I asked my FMIL not to have. I dunno, I don't like guys being at showers. But of course, she didn't listen to the two things I specifically asked for the shower so I guess that shouldn't surprise me.

coopsbaby

My fi was at mine kind of. It was at my parents' house, and he and my dad hung out in the basement and watched sports most of the time. They came up briefly at the beginning to say hi to everyone and then again for food, and then came up to stay when it was winding down. He wasn't upstairs for gifts or games or anything.  I think it was nice, but it was a super casual thing and not a big deal.

amalama

I haven't had my bridal shower yet but for my baby shower with his family he came towards the end. It was about 6 years ago so I don't remember exactly, but I think he got there part way through the gift opening and then since it was mostly his relatives and was at his mom's house we stayed and spent a little more time with some of the family that came in from out of town. He has a different job now and works weekends so he won't be at the bridal shower, but I thought it was nice for the baby shower.

vk2204

My shower was last weekend, and my FI and his best man showed up towards the end to help load the car and have a bite to eat. I wish he would have been there from the beginning (or instead of me lol). He is way better with being the center of attention.

princess pop

If he was going to be the only guy there, I don't see how it would be that pleasant for him. I know that my FI would have no interest. I'm planning my BFFs shower right now, and it is all really girly. IMO, leave it to the ladies.

GoodLuckBear14

This happened once in my family and the women who were guests hated it.  haaaattteddd it.

bridalmarch

I've been to couple's showers, but it's been like more of a party/BBQ feel with gifts at the end instead of the usual games and such. 

My shower was a tea complete with tiny sandwiches and flowers everywhere. My sister hit the nail on the head for my style and taste, but FI would have been bored to tears. He likes to open all of the RSVP envelopes and the few gifts that have trickled in after the shower, so it seemed like a fair deal. 

Jen4948

I've seen it one time and everyone there was okay with it, but I think it's really situational.  Some people don't mind it, some do.

arendiva

Mine hasn't happened yet, but when FSIL and FBIL got married two years ago FMIL threw them a bridal shower and had a "man-cave" across the street. Basically she expected all of the male SO's of the female attendies to tag along and have a BBQ at the house across the street. I thought it was a stupid idea. Though by the sounds of it they had more fun the the bridal shower attendees did. It was awful.  FMIL will not be throwing me a shower.

Sierra524

I hope my FI shows up for mine to help me open gifts. They are not just my gifts, they are his too. He really got into registering for kitchen stuff & is excited about possibly getting the new pots & pans, or the new cast iron skillet. So, why not share that excitement together, at the same time? Most of the people coming will be his family & its at his Aunt's barn, so I think its kinda important for him to show up to see all of them, even if it is just for a few mins.