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I think, while yes, BMs just "have to buy the dress and show up" - usually the bride has some consideration for their total budget - travel to wedding, attire - dress, shoes, hair / make up (even if bride isn't requiring professional services) and asks what's in range ... and goes from there. Everyone's financial situation is different - 20 or 10 a month may seem like nothing to some or in reach - but may be huge to others based on job situation, bills, etc. I think in this case OP was upfront and saying I can't afford X dress vs some posts that have the BM going MIA after agreeding to buy dress, etc. One maybe able to chalk up the bride neglecting to ask for everyone's budget for the dress as something that should've been handled differently and move on. Just going with the OP's first post - the kicker for me is being replaced, "apologized" to and being accused of ruining vision ... edit to fix typo
I don't think 200$ is unreasonable for a dress either. To me, it sounds like a whole lot of mistakes were made on both sides of the equation (isn't that usually the way?).The OP mentioned in one of her other comments that the bride hasn't "taken the hint" and understood just how angry and hurt she is by the whole situation. Might I suggest growing a pair and telling the bride this? Seriously, dude, you're an adult. If a friend hurts your feelings, you tell them. If you think the relationship is damaged beyond repair and you want out, tell them. DTMF, you know? The person isn't going to know exactly how you feel unless you tell them exactly how you feel.Dumping the friend who didn't treat me right was the best thing I've ever done. Even better was laying it out for her just how she'd been such a crappy friend and then being done with it. No more simmering resentment.