Unwanted Guest...UGH

jenntae2011

After my fiance proposed he sent out a mass text message to all those family members and friends, who were not at the proposal, announcing that we had gotten engaged. His much older, miserable, lonely sister had nothing positive to say and in-fact was very vulgar when expressing her feelings about our engagement.

I explained to my fiance that I did not want to invite her to the wedding or any other events regarding our wedding. Although he said ok, I know he doesn't really want to exclude her, but I don't feel that such a negative person should be involved in activities that are suppose to be joyous. 

Would I be wrong if I didn't  invite her or should I still invite her because that's his sister?

lyndausvi

Why is this a propular topic lately?


Invite the sister.

jajph1974

Invite her. You'll be too busy to notice if she's miserable

TheSaltyPeanut

Yeah.  Suck it up and invite the sister.

BecW2be

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-future-sister-law

sarah0725

Yeah, his sister needs to be invited. And you need to start thinking "we" instead of "I" in regards to your wedding.

tidetravel

This is a joke, right?

OF COURSE YOU INVITE HER...  Ugh.

EmmaBride2B

She's HIS sister not yours - he obviously still wants her to come so invite her.

Stop being a bitch.

danieliza1127

Of course you have to invite his sister to your wedding.  It's his wedding too, not yours alone.  She is going to be your family for a very long time so at least take the high road and don't do anything to make it worse.  I would start by finding out why she doesn't support your relationship, or if you already know why, maybe try resolving it with her.

opalsky007

Invite her. You're going to be related to her for, hopefully, a good many years. You think she resents you now? Imagine how badly she'll treat you in the future if you don't invite her.

Stackeye210

Based on your first post on chit chat - it seems as if you and your FI both need to sit down and read an etiquette book before you proceed any further in planning.  Yes, invite the sister.  Why cause family drama starting your married life?

Islamorada14

Yes, you have to invite your fiance's sister.  People deal with bitchy SILs all the time but don't exclude them from their weddings.  Get a grip.

melissamc2

Unless she is long-term estranged from he and his family, of course you invite her.  There ARE cases where not inviting a sibling is perfectly acceptable - but this doesn't sound like one of those.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guestugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed6b1e66-5a3d-4750-b5d8-d71c239cb6d1Post:06c5c36f-f982-4732-a67f-aad1d24c48e1">Re: Unwanted Guest...UGH</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, his sister needs to be invited. And you need to start thinking "we" instead of "I" in regards to your wedding.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]
my thoughts exactly.

tlv204

Why would you just ignore your fiance's wishes like that?

mags0607

I don't understand why you would want to purposely start your marriage off by alienating his sister. That is a great way to burn bridges and cause resentment for a long time. It seems that his sister didn't do anything wrong, but not like you or the fact that her brother was engaged. Neither are valid reasons for hurting your fiance like that. Invite his sister. And start thinking of it as "our" wedding, because its not just your day, and your fiance should have people he wants there to be invited.

FutureMrsTR

I want to know what she could have had to say about your engagment that was vulgar?

And yeah, you have to invite her.

AlmostSt.Laurent

Not inviting her would make her resent you more.  Inviting her doesn't mean being around her the entire time--you'll be too caught up in mingling/greeting/seeing all of your guests throughout the entire day anyway.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guestugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed6b1e66-5a3d-4750-b5d8-d71c239cb6d1Post:93667bb5-906a-4ab7-850b-8252fe2d2a41">Re: Unwanted Guest...UGH</a>:
[QUOTE]And he was only inviting her to make her happy even tho <strong>she has expressed not wanting to come to the wedding anyway
</strong>Posted by jenntae2011[/QUOTE]

Then your little dilemma is solved. Invite her, she won't come, you and your FI come out ahead because you have removed another reason for her to get bitchy.

lisarose7

His family, his call.  When the invites go out, he gets to decide if she gets one and you shouldn't be encouraging him not to.  If she makes trouble it will make her look bad...but if you refuse to let her come, you become the "bad guy."

jenntae2011

@ Lisarose7...it might be his family, but guess what sweetie it's OUR wedding. I don't want her there and my FI is more concerned with my happiness. And I should encourage him if I don't want her a part of a day that is so important and special to us. I will use that invite on someone else.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guestugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed6b1e66-5a3d-4750-b5d8-d71c239cb6d1Post:af51041c-cc00-4ac4-8e2c-3906514d2f52">Re: Unwanted Guest...UGH</a>:
[QUOTE]@ Lisarose7...it might be his family, but guess what sweetie it's OUR wedding. I don't want her there and my FI is more concerned with my happiness. And I should encourage him if I don't want her a part of a day that is so important and special to us. I will use that invite on someone else.
Posted by jenntae2011[/QUOTE]



::rolls eyes::

Pink7781

OP, you are a real treat.

Why don't you consider the feelings of your FH and extend an invitation to her and let her decide if she wants to come. At the very least, you end up looking like the bigger person in the situation and not the nasty witch you've come across here.

JUST. INVITE. HER.