invitation for a ex-friend

JessieBride11

I know the etiquette says if they are invited to the engagement party, then they are invited to the wedding.

But, if we had a falling out with a friend before the engagement party, and she did not attend (she did send a gift, but we still haven't spoken) - do we have to continue the charade and just hope she won't make the trip?

aragx6

If you have no intention of ever speaking to her again, then damn the etiquette and don't invite her. It's rude, but if you don't want a relationship I suppose it doesn't matter.

Unless she's done something egregious, however, I would invite her and let her make her own decision.

Simply Fated

Are you done with this friendship for good? If you're positive, then don't invite her.

whitsy

If you're absolutely sure your friendship is not able to be mended, then I personally wouldn't worry about etiquette and not invite her. But if you're going to try to work on the friendship, and things might work out, I would invite.

NicoleSahara

I feel like the falling out couldn't have been that bad if she still sent a gift for your engagement party. Hopefully you sent a thank you for that even if you guys haven't spoken. I agree with PPs, if you want to end the friendship permanently, don't invite her, but I probably still would if there was any chance of repairing the friendship at some point.

Katelyn89

PPs gave good advice. I'd probably invite her though and let her decide. That way you don't ruin the friendship forever and even if she does come, you likely won't even notice her.

jessicabessica

Did you send her a thank you note for the gift?  

If you are on the same terms you were on when you invited her to the engagement party, I would invite her to the wedding, unless you are ready to be done with the frienship.  I would personally be really reluctant to end a friendship this way.  Emotions can be high on both sides surrounding wedding invitations, and I would want to evaluate the friendship independent of your wedding.

ajmom2two

My former best friend and I had a permanent friendship ending fight after we sent out save the dates.  I still sent her an invitation to the wedding for 3. reasons.  1.  I sent her a STD, 2.  She is selfish and petty and I knew if I didnt invite her she would throw a HUGE fit about the rest of her family being invited (which they were and they are attending) even though they are like my family and 3.  Her children are very close to my 2 daughters and they really wanted them at the wedding.  She never even responded in any way but I know she is not coming from her sisters who I am still close to.   I knew she wouldnt come.  Anyhow...I would send her an invite.  Most likely she will decline anyway if she didnt even come to the E party. 

j-harvey

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you invite, you might poke the bear by looking gift grabby since you know she wont come. If you don't you'll look like you're breaking etiquette. Do what feels best

JessieBride11

I made my fiance write the thank you card. I'll see how I feel in 6 months, but I agree if I am ready to end the friendship why spend money on an invitation and look like I want a present?

MeghanKR

It's a long detailed story, but we actually had to "cancel" the invitation to 2 of our wedding guests, after our save the dates and engagement parties were held.  In fact, one of the guests that was cancelled was in our wedding party orginally.  I had no issue with the situtation breaking etiquette and not sending them an actual wedding invitation, which is extremely rare for me because I am huge believer in following the rules of etiquette!!