Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding Day

I'm so excited about my stepson's wedding day.

Re: Wedding Day

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited April 2011
    Yes.  The difference I'm assuming here is that you're hoping to be invited to see your stepson's FI get ready.  I didn't want my MIL around at all when I was getting ready.  That was an important time for my mom and I, and I loved having my morning with just my parents and my BMs who were my dearest friends.  Sorry, but I think you're being too sensitive about it.  Let the bride enjoy her time with the ladies she chooses.
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  • The difference between these two weddings is that now you're on the groom's side - that means you're going to be excluded more throughout the whole thing.  Don't take it personal, it's just the way these things are when you're on the groom's side.  Find other ways to connect with your future daughter in law and she'll appreciate you for respecting her boundaries.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    You're entitled to your feelings, but I think you may be a little sensitive.  Each bride is different when it comes to how she wants to spend her wedding morning.  Some just don't want all the fuss that others do. Maybe she's extremely shy and doesn't want a bunch of women seeing her half naked getting dressed.   Or perhaps the room they're getting ready in is really small and can't accommodate extra people.  Is she getting ready at home or the church?  A lot of things factor could factor into this.

    For all you know the photographer may not be taking any pictures of everyone getting ready.  When my sister got married the photographer showed up about 30 minutes before the wedding and took one shot before the ceremony started.

    The bottom line is that the bride gets to decide who she wants to be with the morning of the wedding, no one else.  Allow yourself to be upset about it for a day or two and then get over it.
  • pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    If you are going to be with anyone before the wedding wouldn't you want to be with your stepson?  His FI isn't your child. 
  • You're being overly sensitive. The bride may want to get ready by herself with only a couple people helping her and my not have any professional getting ready pictures. The bride might also be getting her hair and make-up done somewhere else and just for herself. Personally, I wouldn't have my FMIL in the room while I was getting dressed. I'll have my mom or sisters help me with my dress, but it's different getting dressed in front of them.
    image
  • I think you are just going off of what you know, which was the previous wedding where you were included, so naturally this seems off to you and you'd rather be included as you were before. I second everything strlzfan said. This bride is a different person with different feelings and opinions. It may not have occurred to her that you wanted to be there. Or the spacing and arrangements may be different. Its hard but try not to take it personally, especially if you are not aware of all of the details behind it. 
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  • OP, there is no point in deleting, as you were quoted.  

    Just understand that you aren't the MOB this time, you're the MOG.  I honestly would never expect to be included in the brides activiites if I was on the groom's side.  Maybe you can be there when the groom gets ready.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • Thanks everyone....of course you are all right. I am being too sensitive. :)
  • thanks, dnb, I thought the knot was going all screwy with the times again

    OP, my daughter loves her MIL dearly but getting ready on her wedding day was time for Mom and her best friends (bridal party)

    Once you DD, you'll be remembered only for that and noone will take you seriously
  • I don't want my MIL getting ready in the morning.  I want my mom and girlfriends around me.  I don't feel comfortable sitting in my underwear around her.  She's nice but the makeup/hair process is a bonding time that I want to have with the women on my side.  

    I have booked her a hair appointment and offered to find her a makeup artist if she wanted to.  

    OP - your role is different as the MOG and the bride is a different woman.
  • I love my MIL, but on my wedding day, I wanted to prepare with "my" side.  It was no offense to my MIL, I just wanted to relax among friends and my family.  And my MIL understood that.  OP, I hope that you see that not being invited to do bridal stuff at your stepson's wedding is nothing against you.  Just enjoy the day and be relieved to not have to sit through 2 hours of the bride's make-up and hair.
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