Wedding Etiquette Forum

Newspaper Announcements -- Deceased/Distanced Family

I came along rather late in my parents' lives, during a time when a woman's bearing a child at that age was often a death sentence (though thankfully in this case it was not).  As a consequence, here I am (late in life, coincidentally -- wonder if the government's done a study on that!) considering marriage for the first time, and my mother has been gone for 16 years.  Her family all came from a small farming community in Indiana, and her parents even are still remembered with great fondness, but the extended family has become the kind of thing that if anybody sees anybody at all, it's at a funeral.  My dad's 90 now and only a couple of people remain on his side of the family.  My mother (and I) lived a while in Florida, and both my sisters (14-18 years older than I) and their families live in Florida. 

I apologize for the lengthy background, but I felt like I needed to do that to fully explain my questions.

Would it be entirely too bizarre to place a notice in the Indiana community paper that says something like:  Grandpa's*full*name and Grandma's*full*name (both now deceased) would have been overjoyed to announce to you the engagement of their grand-daughter, Bride's*full*name (daughter of Mama's*full*name and Dad's*full*name), to Groom's*full*name (son of Mother's*full*name and Father's*full*name).  They will be joined in holy matrimony on date*time*location.  Expressions of joy may be made to them at post*office*box*address.  Please note that this is not a request for gifts, unless you consider a reconnection of contact a gift.

We've considered doing a similar announcement in another area of Indiana where a now-deceased aunt and uncle spent their lives (using their names) and where scattered family still reside, and in an area of Florida using my mother's name.  My fiance's parents and their kinfolk all come from two counties in Kentucky.  His parents are both deceased, and we've considered doing a similar announcement using his parents' names in the main paper in each of the two counties.

What's our objective?  Two-fold.  One thing is potentially to re-establish contact with long-lost family members.  The other thing is that both he and I seem to be this generation's geneaologists for our families.  Finding our "lost" relatives could be an important part of that.

So ... is the whole idea outlandish, unheard of, improper, or otherwise nuts??  Please help!

Marsha

Re: Newspaper Announcements -- Deceased/Distanced Family

  • I would just announce from the bride and groom's perspective and then list all the parents and grandparents. The way you're suggesting is just weird.
  • hmmm... I like the sentiment but...

    1) you can't make an announcement on behalf of a deceased person. It just comes off creepy. I'd go with "DadsName would like to announce the engagement of YourName, daughter of the late MomsName and granddaughter of GrandpasName and GrandmasName." That way everyones' names are still there, but you don't have the weird announcement-from-the-afterlife effect

    2) I would leave out the bit about gifts, and just say "well-wishes may be sent to YourAddress". My instinct would be to leave that out entirely, but if you want to re-establish contact then I guess you do need your address in there. Just keep in mind that announcing your address in the newspaper could possibly be a safety issue.

    3) As for the other areas, see #1- find a way to word it that acknowledges your relative/FI's parents without making it sound like they're placing the announcement.

    Out of curiosity, which small town in Indiana is this? I'm from NW Indiana, and my FI is related to pretty much the whole town of Francesville.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Bride Full Name and Groom Full Name are engaged to be married.  Bride, the daughter of mom & dad, is the last grandchild of X and Y to marry.  Groom, son of the late M & the late D, is from hometown, state.

    The wedding will be Date, in Location.  The bride and groom are anxious to reconnect with extended family, and can be reached at X email or Y address.

    Insert Photo.

    Understand, though, that the local paper may re-write it as they see fit, unless you are placing it as an add.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Geez, reading all that again, what I wrote ... the whole idea sounds perfectly nuts.  What was I thinking??  Still, there must be some way ... and if there is, I know the ladies here will get me there.

    Thank you to each of you.

    Marsha
  • [QUOTE]Still, there must be some way ... and if there is, I know the ladies here will get me there. Thank you to each of you. Marsha
    Posted by Marsha964[/QUOTE]

    The ladies here did get you there. Did you read the replies?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_newspaper-announcements-deceaseddistanced-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:efefe3e9-03af-4ad4-98f3-21672fa642c0Post:8b77cf3d-9a71-40e5-b441-15192a28e396">Re: Newspaper Announcements -- Deceased/Distanced Family</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bride Full Name and Groom Full Name are engaged to be married.  Bride, the daughter of mom & dad, is the last grandchild of X and Y to marry.  Groom, son of the late M & the late D, is from hometown, state. The wedding will be Date, in Location.  The bride and groom are anxious to reconnect with extended family, and can be reached at X email or Y address. Insert Photo. Understand, though, that the local paper may re-write it as they see fit, unless you are placing it as an add.
    Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

    This......
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • Oh wow!  That's it!  Squirrly, you did it!  That's perfect!  Thank you so much!  You are SO good!

    Thank you,
    Marsha
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