When you RSVP "No" do you include a check?

DeanneCW

I have been going through my no RSVP's the other day (we have 2 so far) and one I figured wouldn't come, we aren't really friends, she and her BF responded no- and that's fine. They didn't leave a check or send a gift but I wasn't expecting that from them (since we are no longer close).

I then received a no response from the bestman's mother- who has been VERY excited for the wedding and she was basically a second mother to my FI.

FI was very surprised that she said no- he then asked "is there a check?" and I said "no".

I was more surprised she said no more than her not leaving anything, but that's just me.... Whenever I rsvp'd "no" to an event I would send something as like a "thanks for thinking of me but sorry I can't come so here's a little something"

Is it proper etiquette to send a gift when you respond no to a wedding (or any other event you are invited to)?


**UPDATE**

I just received an RSVP of "no" with a check inside.