HELP! Seating questions!

britxicanwed

I'm 37 days to go and we are working out the seating charts.

For most of the part everything it’s been really smooth, but there’s always an ODD ONE.

I’m Mexican, my fiancé British and we have different seating etiquette. Mexican tradition dictates bride and groom seat on a table on their own and on a  nearby table their parents and siblings. My fiancé refused to do it this way because “ that is not the proper British way to do it”. I agreed and I’m perfectly fine with that. What I don’t know if I should seat all the bridesmaids and groomsmen together, considering some of the girls are single and have no + guest and the best man is also coming on his own. The really odd here is that one of my bridesmaids is coming with her boyfriend, who everyone dislikes, ejemm because basically, he’s a ***head. He has upset people in the past, and we are very tight group of friends who gather every Saturday and when they come there’s always awkwardness in the air and nobody can’t stand him. I don’t want my bridesmaid to feel offended if I seat them on a separate table but also I don’t want my other friends be bothered if I seat them with the rest of the bridal party. I need advice. Quickly!

wrigleyville

I think you should seat them with the wedding party. It would be kind of rude to split them off solely because he's a douche. Your wedding party can be gracious for a half-hour or so while they eat dinner. After that, everyone will be mingling and dancing, so it's not like they have to put up with him all night.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-seating-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f0b7eb18-5afe-42ab-b1a6-fb587cdeaaf8Post:f5c246d5-5302-4a73-ae95-2ffcb635475b">HELP! Seating questions!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 37 days to go and we are working out the seating charts. For most of the part everything it’s been really smooth, but there’s always an ODD ONE. I’m Mexican, my fiancé British and we have different seating etiquette. Mexican tradition dictates bride and groom seat on a table on their own and on a   nearby table their parents and siblings. My fiancé refused to do it this way because “ that is not the proper British way to do it”. I agreed and I’m perfectly fine with that. What I don’t know if I should seat all the bridesmaids and groomsmen together, considering some of the girls are single and have no + guest and the best man is also coming on his own. The really odd here is that one of my bridesmaids is coming with her boyfriend, who everyone dislikes, ejemm because basically, he’s a ***head. He has upset people in the past, and we are very tight group of friends who gather every Saturday and when they come there’s always awkwardness in the air and nobody can’t stand him. I don’t want my bridesmaid to feel offended if I seat them on a separate table but also I don’t want my other friends be bothered if I seat them with the rest of the bridal party. I need advice. Quickly!
Posted by britxicanwed[/QUOTE]
I hear ya sista. My friend's husband is like that. There are times when we almost dont' want to invite her becuase then he'll be there. But we love her so we always invite her, and then we're stuck with him. Ugh.
It'll be weird if you seat all the bridal party together except this one couple. So, seat them all together and hope that everyone will be too busy dancing or eating or what ever to pay attention to him. Maybe? Hopefully?

[Deleted User]

I'll admit it, I was terribly rude at my wedding and I have no regrets about it. We didn't want to do sweetheart table either. One of our groomsmen is engaged and has two kids from his first marriage, so I had his fiance sitting at a regular table with his kids because the kids weren't part of the bridal party and I wasn't about to ask someone else to take care of their kids for them. I'm sure someone will come back & say just add the kids to the head table, well then I have to add all the kids from everyone in the bridal party which would have added 9 kids varying ages o the head table. So then by time I add all the spouses + dates + kids, my head table would have been 20+ people, a little out of control I thought. So I figured if one significant other wasn't at the table, it wasn't fair to let the others sit at the head table so I put them together at a table and made sure chairs were available to add to the table for after dinner for the bridal party to join them the rest of the night. I know, I'm going to get all sorts of feedback because I was wrong with what I did, but I did what was right for me and my husband and I just wanted to share my story.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-seating-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f0b7eb18-5afe-42ab-b1a6-fb587cdeaaf8Post:2ba3a3c5-6eaf-4e03-8c91-a5efb0549701">Re: HELP! Seating questions!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP! Seating questions! : Yep, you were indeed rude.  You could have just sat with the BM and MOH and their families, or just sat with your parents, or sat with siblings, or...  See the endless possibilities starting to roll forth that didn't include a sweetheart table OR spitting on your WP's relationships at an event to celebrate your own?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I totally know I will and will understand peoples views but sometimes things don't work out in an ideal situation. If we put the bridal party at regular tables they would have wanted to sit with their kids understandably, even if we did just BM & MOH our tables didn't fit the number. We could have sat with siblings, again, our table sizes didn't accomodate for that. We could have sat with our parents, but I had relatives who came in from Germany who didn't speak english and my parents wanted to sit with them & my sister who also speaks german so that my aunts would have people at the table they could communicate with during the evening, to add them all to a table with us didn't work with size of tables. And you can't pick to sit with one set of parents over another. Was it rude, yes I admit that, but I just wanted to explain my situation because to us, we were in a no win situation with the seating and sometimes you have to do not necessary what is totally proper, but what works for the situation you're given.

lttlkasa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-seating-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f0b7eb18-5afe-42ab-b1a6-fb587cdeaaf8Post:96ad0bcc-7cb4-481b-8f74-b2dfb8e13bce">Re: HELP! Seating questions!</a>:
[QUOTE] (eta: or seat some WP at the head table and not others).  
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Sorry to digress here, but would this faux pas include the MOH and best man? That is, is it rude to seat MOH/best man + their dates at the head table, but put the rest of the WP + dates at a different table? </div><div>
</div>

wrigleyville

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-seating-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f0b7eb18-5afe-42ab-b1a6-fb587cdeaaf8Post:c2fec0f9-ab23-466f-860e-3241d1df6e4d">Re: HELP! Seating questions!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP! Seating questions! : Sorry to digress here, but would this faux pas include the MOH and best man? That is, is it rude to seat MOH/best man + their dates at the head table, but put the rest of the WP + dates at a different table? 
Posted by lttlkasa[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, still rude. The best scenario here would be to use a sweetheart table and then seat the WP at their own table(s) somewhat near yours and your parents'. You could also have everyone at round tables, such as you two with your parents at one table and then the WP at a table next to you.</div><div>
</div><div>This is why head tables are seen as borderline rude, mostly because the WP is almost always separated from their spouses/dates/children. The modern version is to use a sweetheart table so the B&G still have a place of "honor" while allowing for an easier time of seating the WP with their dates.</div>