Thakn you card am I wrong?

blueibride

My husbands parents and 2 sisters did not bring a gift or even a card to our wedding. .  I understand times are rough and a wedding is not about getting a gift. However why would I send them a thank you card for a gift if we didn't get one.

His sister along with their families were in the wedding and we gave them thank you cards and gifts at the rehearsal dinner so I didn't think we needed to thank them again.  His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and and with all the confusion that night it slipped and they were not given a thank you then. 

So when I sent out thank yous for the wedding I sent them to guests who brought gifts.  So his parents and sisters did not get them.  His mom approached him and asked why she didn't get one.  We told her that was a mistake and we feel bad.  Then she said his sisters expected them too since they spent 1000's of dollars on dresses which is so far from true.  He told her we already gave gifts and thanks for that and we only sent thank yous to people who gave gifts and now they are mad.

I just feel like they think I am a bad person for sending everyone a thank you card and not them.  Am I wrong should I send them a thank you card? 

pooh8402

well, you definitely need to send them a thank you for the rehearsal dinner. and you can add in that you were so happy that they could come and share in the happy day with you. it's appropriate to send thank yous to people who came and didn't bring gifts--you just thank them for coming.

lyndausvi

I did not receive a gift from my MIL either, nor did she pay for anything regarding the wedding.

I still sent her thank you card for being there and all the support she gave us. It didn't occur to me not to send her one.

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thakn-card-am-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f1c07a01-9aee-4fb9-b6a6-75dffbeac2d8Post:633cb63b-c747-4a6b-9555-2ec79ded8591">Thakn you card am I wrong?</a>:
[QUOTE]My husbands parents and 2 sisters did not bring a gift or even a card to our wedding. .  I understand times are rough and a wedding is not about getting a gift. However why would I send them a thank you card for a gift if we didn't get one. His sister along with their families were in the wedding and we gave them thank you cards and gifts at the rehearsal dinner so I didn't think we needed to thank them again.  His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and and with all the confusion that night it slipped and they were not given a thank you then.  So when I sent out thank yous for the wedding I sent them to guests who brought gifts.  So his parents and sisters did not get them.  His mom approached him and asked why she didn't get one.  We told her that was a mistake and we feel bad.  Then she said his sisters expected them too since they spent 1000's of dollars on dresses which is so far from true.  He told her we already gave gifts and thanks for that and we only sent thank yous to people who gave gifts and now they are mad. I just feel like they think I am a bad person for sending everyone a thank you card and not them.  Am I wrong should I send them a thank you card? 
Posted by blueibride[/QUOTE]

Stop being stingy with the thank-you cards.  Of course, send them one.  Perhaps the rehearsal dinner was their wedding gift to you. 

It sounds like you're pissy they didn't give you a separate gift.  Get over it.  Gifts aren't mandatory and it sounds like they did make an investment into your wedding date. 

wadingmoose

Yes.  Your in laws should have received a thank you for the rehearsal dinner.

Your SIL is being a bit of a whiny biitch.

betrothed123

For his parents, yes you absolutely need to thank them for the rehearsal dinner.

When it comes to the sister,s it's a different story.  Being that it's family, I'd send the thank you just to keep the peace.  However, that having been said, no you are not required to send thank yous to people who attended the wedding but did not bring a gift.  The reception is the thank you to your guests for attending.

blueibride

I left out that we did send his parents a thank you.  She asked because  they didn't get one and saw every else's. I thought my husband was sending it and he thought I was sending it.  So when she saw everyone else we felt horrible for not sending one.  Of course we would send them a thank you for paying for the rehearsal and I am obviously grateful for what they did!!!. They didn't have to pay for anything!!!  It's his sisters I had the concern about but it was his mom that brought it to his attention.

lyndausvi

my brother's did not give us a gift either.  I stil sent TY.

ohwhynot

I intend to thank every guest for coming, whether they bring a gift or not.  I don't think the dinner/dance is an adequate "thank you," personally.  I think every guest should get their own personal, written thank you card for coming to our celebration.  
 

momofayden

I agree that the recepetion and you personally greeting every single person that came and saying thank you at the wedding should be enough "thank you for coming." 

I don't plan on then sending "thank you for coming" notes after the wedding.  I will send thank you cards for those that give us a gifts after the wedding though, as you did. 

Also, you gave them wedding party gifts as a thank you and personally told them thank you.  I am not sure how much else you are supposed to do really.  It seems a bit overboard to keep thanking people over and over.

banana468

Because the sis is a sibling, I'd send her a TY note for everything she did just to shut her up.

FWIW, I agree that you don't need to send a TY card if a guest attended the reception and gave no gift.  Their TY IS the reception.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thakn-card-am-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f1c07a01-9aee-4fb9-b6a6-75dffbeac2d8Post:633cb63b-c747-4a6b-9555-2ec79ded8591">Thakn you card am I wrong?</a>:
[QUOTE]MSo when I sent out thank yous for the wedding I sent them to guests who brought gifts.  So his parents and sisters did not get them.  His mom approached him and asked why she didn't get one. 
Posted by blueibride[/QUOTE]

This line here says that you intentionally did NOT send a thank you to his parents.  Please don't backpeddle now.

smokeybailey

I think that it's funny that OP has a 1999 registration date and only 6 posts.