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Etiquette

Please Remove.

13

Re: Please Remove.

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:3de64714-c9d5-4425-975c-217163fa2b52">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]My daughter is going to have a nice wedding. I will have friends and family there that knew our family long before we divorced, they only know my ex's side of the story (I took daughters car away while she was stranded in a different state, took away the funding for her college, etc, making me out to be the bad guy) and I believe she wants the wedding to reflect this. Calypso,<strong> I was informed by a friend that I could not throw her belongings out because she would have needed more notice</strong>. She claimed that because we had just said "in the morning" 11 would be fine, but I was expecting her there around 9. 
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    Pretty sad you even entertained the thought.

    As far as the car.  Well it was a d!ck move to do.   However,  since you can't actually legally take away someone else's car.   I assume the car was in your name, so basically you did have the right not to let her borrow it anymore. Still the bad guy though.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:501d67bb-bd81-4260-aa32-08d975c46556">Re:Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help for Father of the Bride : What in God's name are you all talking about? It all does have to do with the wedding. These are all contributing factors to why my ex is pulling this crap. You all complain that you don't have details, but then complain when you get them. This board is useless!
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>What you're failing to see is that your ex isn't pulling anything.  She doesn't have to contribute to anything.  Your daughter and FSIL are solely responsible for financing the wedding.  You, sir, are the one pulling ridiculous strings.</div>
    I french with my man
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:501d67bb-bd81-4260-aa32-08d975c46556">Re:Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help for Father of the Bride : What in God's name are you all talking about? It all does have to do with the wedding. These are all contributing factors to <strong>why my ex is pulling this crap</strong>. You all complain that you don't have details, but then complain when you get them. This board is useless!
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    WHAT CRAP? Not paying? It's not her effing responsiblity.
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  • In Response to Re:Help for Father of the Bride:[QUOTE]I have no idea why my daughter would read this board or ever come here for advice. Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]


    Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaaa! No... Stop.... Please! Haaaahahahahaaahaahaaa!
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  • MUD. You just said you couldn't imagine her looking here. And then said she told you about this site because she uses it. MUD.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:b0f1ed63-4ea1-4710-ba0c-f9daf3b193b9">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear Father, You say - " She says she will be there in the morning, I call her at 10:30 and she is just leaving her mothers house where she was visiting and will not be at my house until after 11" Newsflash - 11AM is the morning.  You come of as unreasonable.   As said before, write her a check for what you want to pay for, write her a check after wedding if you want,  and accept that if you have issues with alimony, you need to contact your attorney. 
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    For once I agree with NYU.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:047c731a-4072-41ea-9198-5c38474c5f30">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : I "found" it because she talks about it and has used it before to show me what things are against etiquette. I did not understand why she felt the need to invite her Maid of Honor's boyfriend who is a pothead, but she used the board to show me that it was against etiquette. 
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>:headdesk:</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:047c731a-4072-41ea-9198-5c38474c5f30">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : I "found" it because she talks about it and has used it before to show me what things are against etiquette. I did not understand why she felt the need to invite her Maid of Honor's boyfriend who is a pothead, but she used the board to show me that it was against etiquette. 
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    Well now you're learning that EXPECTING MONEY FROM OTHERS IS AGAINST ETIQUETTE.

    And the Caps are not a typo.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:a9aa0030-fafb-4e11-8291-1212845db847">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : Not that it is your business, but the car was in my name, she thought it was in hers, also (she was 15 when I bought it and did not understand titles). My ex and I split when my daughter was 18, divorced officially when she was 19. I needed that time to reestablish myself, my ex did not have the space for her, so she stayed with her boyfriend (now fiance) a state away. She was unable to bring most of her belongings, as her vacating the home was short notice (not my choice, she heard us fighting and then her mother told her I had said they had no meaning in life and I wanted them both out, which was not exactly what I said). When I told her I wanted to move, she was already coming down to visit her mother and I told her she needed to take her things away. She was going to be late, and I would not be able to be there to supervise (I was concerned my ex would want her to take something from the house) so I told her not to come. I told her she needed to leave her car at my house before she returned to her boyfriends house. She said she could not as she would not have a ride home. I told her I would only take it for a month if it was in the driveway by the end of the day, By the next weekend when it was still not in my driveway, I had to threaten to impound it.
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    Not one word of this is relevant to the question of who should pay for the wedding or how much, nor how any contributed funds should be used.

    Sir, you need to separate paying for the wedding from all this back garbage.
  • So your ex didn't have room for her and you "needed to establish yourself"  ?

    Again, selfish douchecanoe.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:03301561-7e86-4528-baf2-141745d0d518">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : For once I agree with NYU.
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    Me too.  It's kind of scaring the hell out of me.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • If you were my father, I would not want to have anything (or very little) to do with you.
  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:1c8ce61a-b59d-4552-88b0-5c41f6399efe">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : Me too.  It's kind of scaring the hell out of me.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]


    Edited:

    Maybe she changed
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:ef60c15f-ecec-4a6e-9237-6c4f5f251460">Re:Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help for Father of the Bride : I said I can't imagine why she would come here. As in, I do not understand her logic when she chooses to come here. Not hard to understand.
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    So why are you here, sir?  Just to insult the rest of us?
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I feel like daughter is going to show up here any minute.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:30383b94-64dc-4eba-8a01-e3a7fc42aa1d">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>If you were my father, I would not want to have anything (or very little) to do with you.</strong>
    Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

    Which I why I haven't spoken more than a dozen words (expact phrasing: "... not alright... I hope you know what you're doing") to mine since last April.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Not really helping your case here Father. 


    ::rolls eyes::






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 The Witch City member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:5031c73f-6eab-46c1-9992-3484ef6be88d">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]So your ex didn't have room for her and you "needed to establish yourself"  ? Again, selfish douchecanoe.
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    I cannot agree with you more.

    I have some issues with my dad, but jeez - this guy makes mine look like father of the year.

     

  • edited February 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:a9aa0030-fafb-4e11-8291-1212845db847">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : Not that it is your business, but the car was in my name, she thought it was in hers, also (she was 15 when I bought it and did not understand titles). My ex and I split when my daughter was 18, divorced officially when she was 19. <strong>I needed that time to reestablish myself, my ex did not have the space for her, so she stayed with her boyfriend</strong> (now fiance) a state away. She was unable to bring most of her belongings, as her vacating the home was short notice (not my choice, she heard us fighting and then <strong>her mother told her I had said they had no meaning in life and I wanted them both out, which was not exactly what I said).</strong> When I told her I wanted to move, she was already coming down to visit her mother and I told her she needed to take her things away. She was going to be late, and I would not be able to be there to supervise (I was concerned my ex would want her to take something from the house) so I told her not to come. I told her she needed to leave her car at my house before she returned to her boyfriends house. She said she could not as she would not have a ride home. I told her I would only take it for a month if it was in the driveway by the end of the day, By the next weekend when it was still not in my driveway, I had to threaten to impound it.
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    You are an a$$hole.  I've been on TK for four years and this is the first time I have ever said this to someone.  Your daughter's mom told her that you said she didn't mean anything to her own father and you didn't correct this??  Apparently she hit a lot closer to the truth than you would like to remember.

    As for neither you nor your ex-wife "having room" for her, you deserve every bad thing that ever happens.  When I was a senior in highschool, a classmate lived through her parent's bitter divorce and heard both of them tell the judge that neither of them wanted her.  She almost succeeded in killing herself.  The only reason she is still alive is because of a vigilant group of friends who kept extremely close eyes on her.</div>
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  • You are a horrible father. From your post, it seems as though you have always given your daughter generous gifts just so you can take them away when she breaks some imaginary rule. Maybe your post is real and you aren't trolling us, but you sure as hell are trolling your daughter. I am bringing my own little girl into this world very soon, and the way you are treating your daughter is truly painful to read. You are emotionally abusing this young woman. Oh, and if she reads this board, isn't it, uhhhh, you know, like, STUPID AS HELL to come on here and write this garbage about her, her mother, her fiancé, future in-laws, and the rest of her family?
  • I see a prime candidate for FFF.
    image
  • edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:ef60c15f-ecec-4a6e-9237-6c4f5f251460">Re:Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help for Father of the Bride : I said I can't imagine why she would come here. As in, I do not understand her logic when she chooses to come here. Not hard to understand.
    Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    Dude, whatever.  Your daughter has come here for wedding advice, and has apparently found this forum helpful.  Don't you understand that you're not really asking for wedding advice?  We don't even really know what your question is, as PPs have said several times.  Also...

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:bfffeb96-0877-4c69-a056-f7570b06188a">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]Again, they don't care if this is what his parents want to spend their money on. No "standing up" needed.  And yes, there are strings attached to money for her wedding. My daughter is smart enough to know that this is how the world works. Posted by IAmTheFatherOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    The problem with this is that your FSIL's parents aren't just spending their own money by planning a big wedding, they are trying to spend yours too.  Which is not ok.  This is why we are saying that you should contribute whatever amount you are comfortable being spent on wedding costs, and give any other amount you wish to give as a wedding gift, after the planning is over. 

    This thread has turned into a shiitstorm, but seriously OP, I think some of us would like to help you.  We just need to know what your actual question is.  Most of this is coming across as a vent (which is fine, but you have also said that our advice is useless, which indicates that you wanted a solution to the problem).
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 The Witch City member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Well said GLB!

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:31e6bd8b-cd17-4ea4-b6bf-3d56174f77f5">Re: Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help for Father of the Bride : There is no need for a personal attck. 
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    Not personal. It's well known that you have had some major disagreements with many posters. I'll change my post.
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  • I, the psychic, forsee a girl in our near future... She has a douchebag father that treats her like unwanted trash unless he's trying to lash out at his ex... Oh, she's asking how to get out of taking his money, and doesn't want him walking her down the aisle...... Hooooommmmmmm
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  • i find it hard to believe neither parent had space for one child post-divorce.  shame on you both for not putting a roof over her head.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:e8aa6410-ca28-4bcc-b386-72ad1ff0b38c">Re:Help for Father of the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]I, the psychic, forsee a girl in our near future... She has a douchebag father that treats her like unwanted trash unless he's trying to lash out at his ex... Oh, she's asking how to get out of taking his money, and <strong>doesn't want him walking her down the aisle.</strong>..... Hooooommmmmmm
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    Pardon the phrasing:

    "Indian-giver" fathers don't garner a lot of respect 'round these parts...
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited February 2013
    Sorry, but deleting your OP and changing the title to "Please Remove" will do nothing of the sort; nor will it score you any points.

    You made an @ss of yourself both here and in real life, and these acts will not change that.
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to Re:Please Remove.:[QUOTE]Sorry, but deleting your OP and changing the title to "Please Remove" will do nothing of the sort; nor will it score you any points.You made an ss of yourself both here and in real life, and these acts will not change that. Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

    And it will probably attract more people.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-for-father-of-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f20dabda-72e6-4db7-ad46-8bfab25eb33dPost:a652bbf6-c7bb-4f2d-9d03-26be1aa518df">Re:Please Remove.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Please Remove.: And it will probably attract more people.
    Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

    I'm sure it will.  When I see them, I immediately click on them and begin scrolling down for a quote of the original post.
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