Brides in need of ADVICE!!!

cindy_1017

Hello all,
I am having a very small destination wedding. Budget is small but we want the small amount of guest to have fun. I have asked four of my closest girls to be in the line. All was going fine with the wedding until one of my girls and I began to have a fall out.  For a while we were the best of friends and got along very well, that is until  I began to plan my wedding. From the moment that I put her on my line I have been getting an odd side of her. When I was looking for my dress, nothing that I tried on seemed to please her. I was either "too fat" or to something that she found rude remarks to tell me. When I began to plan activites with my girls she was the one the was out of place being moody and with attidue.
The final thing that drew the straw for me was that she invited an obnoxious friend of hers to go along for the wedding without consulting me first.  I think this is very rude and and inconsiderate. I am at thepoint of asking her to step down from the line and not having her go at all. The only problem is that she already bought her ticket. What should I DO????

crfische

You word things interestingly. I've never heard of it called the line, or the term drew the straw. Huh.

Anyway, if I had a friend who said I was too fat for anything, she wouldn't be my friend. That's just not very nice.

Second, it is terribly rude of her to invite someone to your wedding, unless you invited her with just an AND GUEST and that's who she chose to bring?

PreppySailor

Is it a desintation wedding? what did she buy a ticket for?

sucrets4

Is this line like A Chorus Line?

Step kick kick leap kick touch.  Again!

jasmineh7777

If you decide to ask her to step down, be prepared for the friendship to be over.
Although, if your friend is insulting you like that, it may not be a friendship worth saving.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-need-of-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2209282-6eaa-4720-8e04-adf87846e547Post:0f2ad06d-f193-4e9a-9e3e-82f36cb0bb1e">Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You word things interestingly. I've never heard of it called the line, or the term drew the straw. Huh. Anyway, if I had a friend who said I was too fat for anything, she wouldn't be my friend. That's just not very nice. Second, it is terribly rude of her to invite someone to your wedding, unless you invited her with just an AND GUEST and that's who she chose to bring?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

This. All of it.

Is she worth keeping as a friend? If so, have a talk with her and figure out what's going on. She could be a wee bit jealous, she could be reluctant to lost you as a fellow single friend, or she could think she's being helpful by providing brutal honestly. Some people just have no tact. If you've given her a plus one, which is polite, then it shouldn't be a big deal for her to bring a friend along.

Mrs.B6302007

Did you extend a +1 to her on the invite? If so, nothing you can do about her "obnoxious" friend.  She's not required to run her selection of date/travel companion by you. Honestly, I wouldn't want to go all the way to PR alone either.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-need-of-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2209282-6eaa-4720-8e04-adf87846e547Post:523c3b42-6ccf-4de4-848f-8d754e3feac8">Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Is this line like A Chorus Line? Step kick kick leap kick touch.  Again!
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Look at all the people! How many boys, how many girls?

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-need-of-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2209282-6eaa-4720-8e04-adf87846e547Post:ddca2a29-3983-4cd8-8bba-40f268e9fefa">Brides in need of ADVICE!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all, I am having a very small destination wedding. Budget is small but we want the small amount of guest to have fun. I have asked four of my closest girls to be in the line. All was going fine with the wedding until one of my girls and I began to have a fall out.  For a while we were the best of friends and got along very well, that is until  I began to plan my wedding. From the moment that I put her on my line I have been getting an odd side of her. When I was looking for my dress, nothing that I tried on seemed to please her. I was either "too fat" or to something that she found rude remarks to tell me. When I began to plan activites with my girls she was the one the was out of place being moody and with attidue. The final thing that drew the straw for me was that she invited an obnoxious friend of hers to go along for the wedding without consulting me first.  I think this is very rude and and inconsiderate. I am at thepoint of asking her to step down from the line and not having her go at all. The only problem is that she already bought her ticket. What should I DO????
Posted by cindy_1017[/QUOTE]

JIC.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-need-of-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2209282-6eaa-4720-8e04-adf87846e547Post:56289e23-d532-460c-a9b8-6542b40c391b">Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!! : Look at all the people! How many boys, how many girls?
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

I really need this job.....please god I need this job!  I've got to get this job!

AmoroAgain

Guessing from syntax, she's not a native english speaker.

redheadfsu

If you ask her to step down from being a bridesmaid or uninvite her to the wedding, then you end the friendship. Do you want to forever destroy this friendship? Since she already bought the ticket, she probably will try to refund it or still go & just not attend your wedding.

If you gave her a plus one, then she gets to bring her friend. If she didn't get a plus one, could the friend just be going for the trip & not attending your wedding? Going on a expensive trip by yourself can be boring, so maybe she wanted a friend to tag along with her for non wedding activities?

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-need-of-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2209282-6eaa-4720-8e04-adf87846e547Post:15c3d564-7d78-4834-830c-5ed3c7854168">Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Guessing from syntax, she's not a native english speaker. ;)
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

God, Amoro, stop being such a racist.

ZRex

I get that you're pissed at her for her comments, which I totally understand.  However, she's in your wedding party, and really, I think she should be able to bring a guest if she wants one.  She's coming to all the events you're planning, went dress shopping, and bought a plane ticket, it won't kill you to let her have a guest.

I do think you should go out to dinner or lunch with her and talk about why she seems to be feeling so surly though.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-need-of-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2209282-6eaa-4720-8e04-adf87846e547Post:463d049d-6235-464c-af74-f44e31585a09">Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Brides in need of ADVICE!!! : God, Amoro, stop being such a racist.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

lol... I was just putting it out there cause people asked about her sentence structure. :D

tlv204

Have you talked to her about any of this? I know that sounds silly to ask, but don't make any decisions about the wedding or the friendship until you've had an honest conversation about all of this. Too often people are like "Of course we've talked! How can she not know she's acting crazy? I shouldn't have to spell it out for her!"  when nothing can ever be resolved without a full out honest conversation. She's probably just as frustrated as you are, but you're not sure why. And she's probably not sure why you feel the way you do. Just try to think about things from only her perspective for a while, then talk to her in person about all of the issues that are going on.