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Destination wedding - pay travel for friend that is officiating?

karen44karen44
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

We are having a wedding in Vail, Colorado and live in Chicago. We have asked our friend officiate the wedding for us and he has agreed. Should we pay for him and his wife's flights and hotels? Either/or? I would like to assist in at least one, but not sure if we should do both. If he wasn't officiating the ceremony he wouldn't have been coming to the event as we are just having immediate family.

T
hanks for your guidance!

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Re: Destination wedding - pay travel for friend that is officiating?

  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    If it's in your budget, I think it would be fabulous. Are you paying him in another way?
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-pay-travel-for-friend-that-is-officiating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3907ff0-7045-4128-a7cc-71ca15d139eePost:4e14dd10-5924-42f5-8f9b-fb5b292c8745">Destination wedding - pay travel for friend that is officiating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are having a wedding in Vail, Colorado and live in Chicago. We have asked our friend officiate the wedding for us and he has agreed. Should we pay for him and his wife's flights and hotels? Either/or? I would like to assist in at least one, but not sure if we should do both. If he wasn't officiating the ceremony he wouldn't have been coming to the event as we are just having immediate family. T hanks for your guidance!
    Posted by karen44[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think you should at least pay for his. If you hired an officiant you didn't know, you'd have to pay for this. Paying for hers would be a nice gesture if you can afford it, but you are not requiring she attend, so it's not necessary. </div>
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  • coolwhipz1coolwhipz1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I don't have any advice for you, but I live in Denver and just wanted to say Vail is beautiful, I'm sure your wedding will be gorgeous! 
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    I think it would be nice to cover part of the travel costs, but I don't think you have to do so or that you have to cover all of the costs.  I would probably cover the hotel room (that seems less complicated than trying to reimburse him for airfare, plus it covers him and his wife) and then give him a gift card for dinner with his wife somewhere local to them as a thank you gift.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    If you were flying in a regular vendor from anywhere else, you'd have to pay airfare and lodging as part of their contract/fee.  If these friends wouldn't have been invited except for this, I think you should treat them more like a vendor and less like a guest and pay for their airfare and hotel.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2013
    I honestly think you should.  We had our wedding about 360 miles from where we (and our officiant) lived.  We drove down but we paid for a plane ticket and a rental car in the city for him.  He decided to stay with friends overnight who lived near there which was really nice of him since we didn't have to pay for a hotel.

    I do not think it's necessary to pay for his wife.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    He's a vendor so you must cover all his expenses. It's on him to pay for his guest. It's as if your husband wanted to tag along on your business trip.
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  • Knottie_22382102Knottie_22382102 member
    5 Love Its
    Agree with PPs. Pay for his, and his wife would be a bonus if you can afford it and are so gracious...but unnecessary to cover her
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    If this was a hired officiant, you'd be paying for travel expenses.  Your friend shouldn't get less courteous treatment than a vendor would.  Pay their way.

    However, the wife is choosing to come along, and is a guest like anyone else who is paying to come to your wedding.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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  • MsYeckMsYeck member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    I would pay for his expenses AND the prevailing wage for an officiant in the area.if he wants I use that towards bringing his wife that is his choice
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  • karen44karen44
    First Comment
    He wouldn't take our money to "pay" for him so I think we should probably do both. Thanks for your help!

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-pay-travel-for-friend-that-is-officiating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3907ff0-7045-4128-a7cc-71ca15d139eePost:2a23c53a-01af-41de-b50c-49d7e83c18f9">Re: Destination wedding - pay travel for friend that is officiating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it's in your budget, I think it would be fabulous. Are you paying him in another way?
    Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]
    Report Reply
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