Wedding Etiquette Forum

Need advice on out-of-town relatives and rehearsal dinner

Hi ladies -
My mom is one of 7 children, and my dad is one of 3. So far, seems like all of these out-of-town aunts and uncles (and spouses) are attending the wedding. If they're here, it is best to invite them to the rehearsal dinner, correct?
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Re: Need advice on out-of-town relatives and rehearsal dinner

  • We have quite a few OOT guests and relatives but we are not having them at the RD due to our large wedding party and others involved in the ceremony. We are having a morning after brunch extended to the OOTs though. Something like that might be a good compromise?
  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It isn't required, but it is nice to do as they don't know the town and will want to spend time with the rest of the family while they are in town.

    So if you (or whoever the host is) can afford to do so, I would recommend inviting them.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • I also come from a large family.  Of all the weddings of cousins, etc, nobody has invited all out-of-town guests to the RD (only members of the wedding party have been invited).  Our family usually gets together anyway while everyone else is at the rehearsal dinner, and it's not a big deal.

    At my wedding we're doing a big casual picnic for the RD, so everyone invited to the wedding is also invited to the RD.
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  • I no longer live in my hometown, so my whole family (and half of his) will be OOT.  It's nice to offer, if you can and if they arrive early, but it's not required.
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  • I agree with PPs.

    If you can't host them, (and in my family, extended family would be surprised to be invited to a rehearsal dinner) maybe speak privately to one of the OOT family members you're closest to about organizing a casual alternative. Say something like, "Because of cost/space/time/whatever, we have to limit the guest list for the rehearsal dinner. We know lots of family will be in town, and we don't want to get in the way of their getting together apart from the rehearsal dinner. Here's a great bar/restaurant/bowling alley/miniature golf place. Maybe you could say your family will be there, and whoever wants can meet up with you guys there?" Something like that that doesn't oblige anyone to actually pay for a party, just decide on a place where people can show up if they're inclined. This is what my family does in these situations.
  • All our families are OOT, except parents, so what we are doing for the RD is inviting select family (due to space constraints in RD room at the restaurant).  My uncle's adult daughter and adult son are both in our WP, but we are inviting them to dinner since they are involved.  My dad's sisters have large families and since we are in a tourist area, they are going to be doing theme parks and we are not inviting them, except for his older/single sister who is typically included seperately from the rest of the family.
  • I think it's understandable that you can't host them at the RD, and I think that most people don't expect to be invited to the RD unless they are in the wedding party, dating/engaged/married to someone in the wedding party, or they are the parents of the bride or groom.

    I think that hosting a brunch the morning after the wedding would be a very nice gesture.
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