A Bat Mitzvah and Wedding on the same day

melb2013 · July 2012

My cousin is having her bat mitzvah on the same day as my FSIL's wedding. They are about an hour away from each other in the NYC area. I'm in my FSIL's wedding, so I can't go to the bat mitzvah, but my parents have been invited to both events.

My mother really wanted to go to this bat mitzvah because another cousin is having one on the same day in CA and a lot of the family is going to that event. My mom wants to go to this east coast bat mitzvah so that the little girl has some of her own family there.

My mom also feels like she needs to go to this wedding because I'm her only child and this is my FI's only sibiling and she should try to be as friendly as possible with my future in laws. I don't think she has to go to the wedding if she can't.

Potentially, she could go to the bat mitzvah, leave really quickly from the reception and make it to the wedding ceremony a little late. Would that be okay? The wedding ceremony is going to be an hour and half long at least. Does she have to go to the wedding in the first place?

crash2729 · July 2012

I think your Mom should go to the Bat Mitzvah. It sounds like there won't be a whole lot of your family there, the little girl and her parents would probably appreciate your Mom's presence.

Your Mom doesn't have to attend the wedding, but it was nice of your FILs to think of her.

TheSlowskys · July 2012

I think she should go to the bat mitzvah of her own family. I am sure your FSIL will understand and there are plenty of other opportunities for her to interact with your inlaws in the future.

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-bat-mitzvah-and-wedding-on-the-same-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f482e922-370a-4e67-a3a9-5e07a7af57b2Post:1599e0f4-e6ca-405e-a4a5-39de3bc2a51e">Re: A Bat Mitzvah and Wedding on the same day</a>:
[QUOTE]I think your Mom should go to the Bat Mitzvah. It sounds like there won't be a whole lot of your family there, the little girl and her parents would probably appreciate your Mom's presence. Your Mom doesn't have to attend the wedding, but it was nice of your FILs to think of her.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's what I think too. I was actually surprised that my in laws invited my parents at all.

</div>

Simply Fated · July 2012

I vote for her just to go to the bat mitzvah. I think the cousin will miss her aunt more than the inlaws will, kwim? And running around to both could potentially not work out and just add stress on to your mom.