Question for you guys...

ButtonsPepper

My friend and BM just broke up with her long term (3 year) boyfriend last week. So clearly... she is no longer going to be bringing him to the wedding next week.

 I dont' want to bring the wedding up AT ALL until next friday (rehearsal) because I really want to just focus on her, friendships, etc. But I do want to let her know that she has the option to bring a friend to still have fun with (she has a lot of guy friends) but I don't know how to approach the subject.

Do I just not say anything, keep the extra person at the table in case she brings it up, or do I ask her about it since the final count was due on Sunday, and the latest we can change without paying is Friday. I don't mind eating the cost because of the situation, I just want to do the right thing.

danieliza1127

I wouldn't bring it up.  It's probably the furthest thing from her mind, and if she will know plenty of people at your wedding, then I just wouldn't bring it up.  If she won't know anyone at your wedding, then okay probably best to say something.

georgia_bride09

I would not say anything. If she asks about it, tell her she can bring a friend. If you bring it up, it might seem like you only care about her in relation to your wedding. She may want to come alone anyway to mingle.  

BecW2be

I think you should let her know she can bring someone. She may be thinking she doesn't want to worry you with it on your wedding day, so I bet she'd appreciate that you are thinking of her and you would love for her to bring a guest.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it, but I would mention to her that she's welcome to bring a friend.

TheSaltyPeanut

I would ask her about it... obviously in a kind way.  She's a great friend / BM and I would want her to feel completely comfortable (telling her that she can bring someone else, a guy or girl friend).

It would be awkward for her to have that empty seat next to her all night and have people keep asking questions if she decides to just come by herself.

It seems like you two are close enough where if you would ask about it she wouldn't immediately assume that you were concerned about the money.

FutureMrsTR

I think it would be fine to just mention that she's obviously still welcome to bring a guest.  If you're close friends I don't think it will be awkward and she'll be glad you thought of her.

tlv204

Yeah I would let her know she is welcome to bring anyone, but particularly if the cost of an extra person's plate doesn't affect your budget don't mention that you need to know by a certain time or anything like that.  I would think she would appreciate it, but like others said be kind about it clearly and if she doesnt' answer or doesn't seem interested I would drop it.

ButtonsPepper

Haha, well she just text me "and as for your wedding.... I'm working on a date" so I guess she was thinking of it anyway :-). Thanks guys! Dodged a bullet.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-guys?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f4eae47d-01d9-4fc8-8d99-174c2e4f867cPost:4fb27173-d8d9-4e45-a7e5-d9d886792fcc">Re: Question for you guys...</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha, well she just text me "and as for your wedding.... I'm working on a date" so I guess she was thinking of it anyway :-). Thanks guys! Dodged a bullet.
Posted by ButtonsPepper[/QUOTE]

I wondered if this might happen. We had a similar situation with H's cousin, who split with her 2-year BF just days after sending in the RSVP. She wound up making plans to bring her best friend with her, without me getting involved at all.

FutureMrsTR

Well, there ya go!  Glad it worked out for you and your friend   Love your dress and veil, btw.

kate51485

If you talk about it further with her, I'd make sure to let her know if she just wants to bring a girlfriend that's fine too.  Maybe that's an obvious train of thought, but I wouldn't want her to feel pressured to find a guy date.

ButtonsPepper

I text back saying she could bring anyone she wanted, but not to feel pressured, as I have until the wedding day to give the final numbers.

I DON'T have until then, but I don't want her to start freaking out. So I'll just leave the extra person on there, and keep a label/table card out to either change hers to "and guest" or put who ever she is bringing on a separate one up until the day before. If she makes up her mind that day, then said date just doesn't get a table card.

ButtonsPepper

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-guys?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f4eae47d-01d9-4fc8-8d99-174c2e4f867cPost:be802edd-a61a-4367-87a9-6ca6f6efda34">Re: Question for you guys...</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, there ya go!  Glad it worked out for you and your friend :)  Love your dress and veil, btw.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]
Thank you very much :-)