When my fiance and I got engaged, his little cousin got really excited and quickly asked us if he could be the "ring bear" (adorable!). Of course, we said yes, and I figured that I would ask his older sister to be the flower girl. Everyone has a "ring bear" and flower girl in their wedding, right? Wrong, according to my mother who has graciously offered to pay for our wedding.
She says that my fiance's cousins can be in the ceremony, but they are not invited to the reception. They would be the only children there, but they are playing a very special role (in my opinion) in our special day and I would be mortified to have them at the ceremony then have to send them home and exclude them from the party. It just seems horribly, horribly rude to me. She says it is not rude and people do it all the time, and even if they don't that it is my fault for asking them to be in the wedding without first asking her because she doesn't want to see a single child there at all, regardless of whether or not they're a part of the wedding party.
I know she is paying and therefore what she says goes, but this is a matter of manners. Am I completely out of touch with etiquette here? If I am then I'll give in on this point, but I am ready to stop all the bickering and just elope already.