Should we return this gift? (long)

hz80408

We got from our best man and his parents (really his parents b/c BM had just started working at the time of the wedding), a Waterford picture frame and a set of Waterford toasting glasses.

Apparently BM's parents purchased in September and BM was supposed to give to us before our 10/16 wedding but didn't give them to us until Halloween wknd.  His parents original intentions with the gift (according to BM) were for us to use them at the reception.  I find this itself a strange assumption, b/c then wouldn't it really be an engagement gift?  Not only that but we already used MIL's heirloom flutes.

BM has said he understands if we want to return the items and BM lives in the same city as us and is at our place all the time. 

So...would it be rude to return the ~$300 worth of Waterford or should we hang on to it just cuz BM comes over?

WWYD?

ETA:  We don't want to keep the gifts.  They're definitely not our style and to be honest the only time we can picture using the toasting flutes would be if we renew our vows or for our kids some day.

annakb8

Could you possibly keep the frame and return the flutes? I think that is ok since BM said he didn't mind and you were not able to use them as intended anyway.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd return them because I'm practical and I'd rather have the $300!

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-return-this-gift-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f5cd45ee-6b17-4d8b-a7b4-35de5de2b3d3Post:f99e76e2-19d5-41eb-b91e-b02598d405aa">Re: Should we return this gift? (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd keep em cause they're pretty and it's not something I'd buy myself.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

Yup. I was THRILLED when we got our crystal champagne glasses we registered for. I wasn't really expecting anyone to get them for us.

Snippylynn

I'd keep them cause they're pretty.

emilyinchile

If you can just return the flutes and keep the frame, I'd do that. Even if the frame isn't your style, I feel like it's ruder to return it since presumably only the flutes are the part of the gift that missed out on their purpose by not being used at your wedding. I'm guessing the frame was given with the intention that you would just have it in your house.

zantster

Is there a possibility that BM's parents would be offended?  Do you interact with the parents where one day they may ask about how you liked the glasses and whether you use them at all?  I only ask because you mentioned that even though it was technically BM's present to you his parents had expectations for how they would be used and I would hate for you to have an awkward moment with them one day.

FutureMrsTR

I would keep the frame.  Someone gave us a silver frame from some random store and at the time I was like, "Oh great, what am I going to do with that?" but it's actually very elegant and not something I would have bought on my own and I'm glad to have it.

hz80408

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-return-this-gift-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f5cd45ee-6b17-4d8b-a7b4-35de5de2b3d3Post:2c7b7d85-ee9a-4aee-9f12-fab23f9434cf">Re: Should we return this gift? (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Is there a possibility that BM's parents would be offended?  Do you interact with the parents where one day they may ask about how you liked the glasses and whether you use them at all?  I only ask because you mentioned that even though it was technically BM's present to you his parents had expectations for how they would be used and I would hate for you to have an awkward moment with them one day.
Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]

Good point, but I think we're safe on this...the parents live about 3 hrs away and I can't see any reason for them to visit our place, at this point anyways

tenofcups4me

Return it and get something you actually like. I wouldn't mention it again to BM either way, though. I seriously doubt he'll ever actually be looking for either in your house.

soontobeschooley

I agree with the majority and say keep the frame if you can and return the flutes.  You can't use the flutes as intended but the frame was meant for your home.

DanielleZZ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-return-this-gift-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f5cd45ee-6b17-4d8b-a7b4-35de5de2b3d3Post:10a77c88-e0a5-400e-a68b-92c5af1d98ad">Re: Should we return this gift? (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]If you can just return the flutes and keep the frame, I'd do that. Even if the frame isn't your style, I feel like it's ruder to return it since presumably only the flutes are the part of the gift that missed out on their purpose by not being used at your wedding. I'm guessing the frame was given with the intention that you would just have it in your house.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Ditto.

squirrly

I don't know of too many guys who would be offended if you returned two crystal glasses for something more your style.  Nor would they look for said crystal glasses when they're at your house.  Swap the glasses, keep the frame, and just don't mention it. 

LisaChris2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-return-this-gift-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f5cd45ee-6b17-4d8b-a7b4-35de5de2b3d3Post:7fb91892-fded-4284-8d44-4b73dd9ad1cb">Re: Should we return this gift? (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry for the confusion/fuzziness. As added, while they are beautiful, neither gift is our style or matches our home.  We do have a bar w/glass doors where we display our wine glasses, but we received wine glasses and flutes from our registry, so there's no need for us to keep these, except that I guess maybe b/c they are waterford. <strong>But really, we'd like to return them...just concerned that BM said it'd be okay out of kindness and that he didn't really mean it.  If that makes sense?
</strong>Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]

I honestly think its women that worry about this stuff, i.e. "Oh my gosh, how rude of her to return a gift I gave her...that's the last time I buy her something of value!"  Men are more simple than that and don't concern themselves of things like that. Kinda like how men can fight and have a beer immediately after.  They're simple, no-drama people. 

Its your gift to do what you wish.  I'd say return them and get something more practical!  Good luck!

PS: Great wedding shot BTW.

DramaGeek

Yeah, I'd return it.  We were given some crystal stuff that was very much not our taste.  We got rid of it and have no regrets about it.

marriedfilingjointly

I'd absolutely return. 

Do you already have the gift receipt?  that's the only thing I'd feel at all squeamish about.  I can't ask for receipts. 

SD3194

I think you should keep them. My grandma is giving me her entire china cabinet worth of waterford crystal as a wedding present. Apparently, she got a ton of it when she was married. It's not really my style either but it's special she would give something like that to me. You never know, it could be one of those memorable things you pass down to your kids. 

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-return-this-gift-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f5cd45ee-6b17-4d8b-a7b4-35de5de2b3d3Post:495ce17b-3b31-4102-bf91-633532d537e5">Re: Should we return this gift? (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should keep them. My grandma is giving me her entire china cabinet worth of waterford crystal as a wedding present. Apparently, she got a ton of it when she was married. It's not really my style either but it's special she would give something like that to me. You never know, it could be one of those memorable things you pass down to your kids. 
Posted by SD3194[/QUOTE]

Well, that's special because it's from your grandmother. But for the OP to keep something she doesn't like just to pass it on to her kids makes no sense.