Another little issue

VioletRose519

My soon to be Mother in Law is becoming a bit of a pain. She has done a number of things that have completely stressed me out but recently she approached me to inform me that she will be giving me a list of songs that her family would like to dance to… and this is not a couple songs its more like a page! When I informed her that we will not be having any chicken dance or YMCA music her response was “they can play one of those songs for my daughter (My fiancés little sister)” How can I nicely tell her to back off? This is my wedding and my parents are paying for the entire thing, I am a super organized bride that has every detail taken care of and the only thing stressing me out is her…

kcscejal

I would tell her you'll take it into consideration, change the subject, and then talk to your DJ about songs you don't want played.

Meg1036

There's deifnitely room for compromise here, and for everyone to be happy.  You tell her thank-you for the suggestions, but you're going to be unable to accommodate everyone's requests.  If you have a DJ, make a point to say that its important to you to give the DJ the ability to figure out what is working with the crowd.  Give her a limit of songs she can pick (i.e., please keep your requests to 2 songs).

If your FI's little sister wants the YMCA or chicken dance or something I would give in on that (it sounds like she's a young kid who would be disappointed otherwise).

If there is anything on your FMIL's list that you really, really don't want, put it on the do not play list with the DJ.

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-little-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6690a4c-55dc-41b9-83c0-eadb1060dfc2Post:06212104-d56e-467f-8711-8e08836cb852">Re: Another little issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Talk to your DJ and give him your "do not play list."  Tell him if those songs are requested he is to either tell the person requests are not being accepted or the couple has requested that song not be played.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]


This. Thank FMIL for the list and do what you want.

However, I don't think it would be TOO bad to play one or two songs for the FILs. But that's up to you. But a whole list? That's nutty.

VioletRose519

Thank you for the advice but the reason why I am so frustrated is because everyone in her family has told her to back off and they don’t care about the music. And my Fiancés little sister has even told her mother she doesn’t want to dance to the chicken dance of YMCA… she’s 16… So I feel all the frustration is nonsense and I guess I just need a good way to tell her to back off…. But thank you!

mica178

Put it on your Do NOT Play list.  Then when FMIL talks to you about wedding music, say "Um, okay, we'll see" and change the subject.  How do you like that bean dip?

Meg1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-little-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6690a4c-55dc-41b9-83c0-eadb1060dfc2Post:6686589b-67b6-47bc-81cb-2a5d23d2dbd4">Re: Another little issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for the advice but the reason why I am so frustrated is because everyone in her family has told her to back off and they don’t care about the music. And my Fiancés little sister has even told her mother she doesn’t want to dance to the chicken dance of YMCA… she’s 16… So I feel all the frustration is nonsense and I guess I just need a good way to tell her to back off…. But thank you!
Posted by VioletRose519[/QUOTE]

The same advice holds.  Take her list, ignore it, and stop talking to her about music (and probably the entire wedding).  If you must tell her to politely back-off, tell her "thanks for your help, but the music is under control.  We have a great DJ.  How's the bean dip?"

SDPARHAM

This is your wedding! maybe choose one or two songs from her list that you and your fiance likes also.

marinabreeze

I agree with PPs.  I would say to just let your FMIL know that you'll take it under consideration, then do what you want.  You don't have to tell her what the DJ's final list actually is. 

If you want to be diplomatic, sdparham's suggestion of using a couple of her songs (especially songs that you and your FI also like or can at least tolerate) may placate her during the reception itself. 

If you really don't like the chicken dance or YMCA, though, just tell the DJ not to play them even if requested.  I'm sure that it's not the first time the DJ has been asked to avoid particular songs.  I'm sure a good DJ can work around those parameters.

skippylouwho

Give your DJ a do not play list, add to the contract that if those songs are played he will not be paid and that if anyone requests music the dj must clear it with either you or your new hubby before playing it.