Wedding Etiquette Forum

Engagement Party and Registry

This will be my second marriage but my soon to be hubbys first so we are still doing a lot of the little things  like parties etc leading up to our big day.  His mother is kind enough to throw us an engagement party.  People are asking me where I am registered, but here is the situ.  We both owned homes on our own before meeting.   If you can think of it , we prob have two of them.   Two toasters ,  place settings for  20 etc..    Honestly we have nothing to register for.  We are paying for our wedding our selves and burning through most of our rainy day money doing it, so I don't think asking for a donation to a charity or something similar is a good idea.   Its been suggested to me to register for gift cards, but that seems so tacky!   Any ideas?  What should we do?   How is best to handle this?  

Re: Engagement Party and Registry

  • Take a clipboard through the house and see if there's anything you want to replace or upgrade (linens, dishes, pots & pans, etc).  If you can't find anything to replace or upgrade then don't register.

    Registering for gift cards or asking guests to donate to a charity or cash fund of some sort is considered rude.
  • Let your family spread the world that you want monetary gifts.

    Once people see that you do not have registry they will understand that you want cash

    And hopefully your guests know you and your FI enough to understand your situation
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  • I would tell them that you haven't registered and don't plan on doing so since you both have almost two of everything.  Maybe I would ask people for things you can use the day of such as toasting flutes, cake cuting set, guest book, etc.  That way you can get some things that you can use that day and not have to pay money for and also people will get the hint that you could use the money.  

    I really don't like the idea of giving to a charity instead of a registry (I do think it is appropriate for the favor esp if it has affected on of your family members).  It just seems so I don't even know the word to use off?  Anyway if you tell people what I had previously mentioned they may just give you cash.  If they want to give on the charity they will on their own or you can do that in lieu of gifts I think it is kind of rude too.
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  • In response to not having a shower like the PP have mentioned if you feel comfortable with it you could also have a lingerie shower.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime"
  • Great suggestions!  I have made it very clear that I don't want a shower so I don't think that will be an issue.   I like the idea of putting together a small registary of things I will have to buy anyway for the wedding.   Thanks everyone.
  • I would maybe register for non-traditional items (Amazon is great) like power tools, better pot or vacum, camping gear, books, games, movies, ect.  I've seen it all, at a wedding 2 weeks ago they had TurboTax on their registry.
  • I'm not a big fan of registeries to begin with.  I'd suggest not doing a registry- when people realize you don't have a registry, they will just give you money.  You can choose to do whatever you'd like with it then.

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations


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