Not how I planned to spend my Sunday

katiewhompus

I am tired and have done absolutely nothing that I needed to do today. We woke up to a phone call to come over and help mil/sil clean out the garage. We did need to do this at some point because Dh has some tools and things we need to move, but weren't planning on doing it "right now".
So we go over around noon, and don't start cleaning/moving until about 1. Then the cleaning/moving turned into inspecting every single item that came out of the garage and having sentimental moments over it. Then it turned into playing with my niece, more sentimental moments, etc.
Also mil informed me that she and my niece are goign to be coming over every weekend for at least the next 2 months because sil will be going out of town a bit. Um..can I at least have a month or so to do things like unpack...please...pretty please?
Ended with a blow out between sil and her husband (over the phone because he's still in Africa) which was a bit akward to be in to say the least.
So now I'm taking a 20 minute rest before I need to do things like, oh, pack and clean my own apt, clean the fish tanks, chinchilla cage, etc.
Sigh...so much for a relaxing and productive Sunday
.vent over.

lauralaur

Tell your mother-in-law that you're so glad she'll be stopping by to help you unpack! I'm sorry, moving is so stressful. Good luck getting everything in order!

EmmaBride2B

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-planned-spend-sunday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d9168d-f51e-4743-837b-89649b2c86cePost:7964c97f-8bbe-40a1-81a0-b4bd493ddfe6">Not how I planned to spend my Sunday</a>:
[QUOTE]Also mil informed me that she and my niece are goign to be coming over every weekend for at least the next 2 months because sil will be going out of town a bit. Um..can I at least have a month or so to do things like unpack...please...pretty please? 
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>How nice of her to invite herself over! That stinks, a running engagement every weekend while getting settled does not sound like my idea of fun family time. Maybe a couple times you'll "have to work extra hours?</div>

katiewhompus

That's what I'm thinking. I mean, once we get everything going I will love having her and Z over, but not while I'm still getting settled in. Plus I hate unpacking with people there because I'm kind of sporatic and random with it, so I get annoyed with people helping.

That and the "oh you can take this piece of furniture" is seriously starting to get out of control. No I don't want your grandfather's framed high school diploma, or the desk your great grandmother had which is practically falling apart. I know they are sentimental to you but I just don't want to deal with it!

i swear, my "easy sailing" with the wedding was just prepping me for this. I have said "I'll take that into consideration" and "I just don't think that will work at this time" so much...

EmmaBride2B

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-planned-spend-sunday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d9168d-f51e-4743-837b-89649b2c86cePost:8cb4893e-b554-4bc1-9876-67204cd92e9b">Re: Not how I planned to spend my Sunday</a>:
[QUOTE]No I don't want your grandfather's framed high school diploma, or the desk your great grandmother had which is practically falling apart. I know they are sentimental to you but I just don't want to deal with it!
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>OMG my MIL does this also! Every time we see them they bring random crap from his childhood that we don't need! We downsized from a 2 bed to a 1 bed, we don't. need. more. CRAP. Or new stuff even, just because she feels like it, which is sweet, but random. Seriously, we made a huge deal about how much crud we were throwing out/giving away, and we're gaining it all back! And no, I don't want the random tv stand you have laying around, we're buying something that matches because this isn't a dorm room!</div><div>
</div><div>Wow, I didn't mean to thread jack. CN: I feel your pain.</div>

katiewhompus

Lol feel free to vent away, it makes me feel like less of an ungrateful wench for not accepting everything. I'm the complete packrat of the family, and it's really hard for me to get rid of things, but it aggrevates me that our house will be filled with items we aren't allowed to EVER throw out because they once belonged to his grandparents. I feel like every time we spring clean now we're going to have to call his mom/sister and ask permission, which is not fun.

EmmaBride2B

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-planned-spend-sunday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d9168d-f51e-4743-837b-89649b2c86cePost:09e2f34f-4bd5-4c95-842d-0e3d552a2213">Re: Not how I planned to spend my Sunday</a>:
[QUOTE]Lol feel free to vent away, it makes me feel like less of an ungrateful wench for not accepting everything. I'm the complete packrat of the family, and it's really hard for me to get rid of things, but it aggrevates me that our house will be filled with items we aren't allowed to EVER throw out because they once belonged to his grandparents. I feel like every time we spring clean now we're going to have to call his mom/sister and ask permission, which is not fun.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I totally get that. It's hard enough to throw things out sometimes without the extra guilt attached. But, I suppose if you think about it, if they're giving it away to you they probably aren't going to miss it if they never see it again. Easier said than done, of course.</div>

katiewhompus

Yeah, about halfway through sil was just like "You know mom, I think we need to just get you a storage area for this stuff, no one wants it."

I love her

amalama

BF's mom is exactly the same. Even with new things. And it gets a million times worse with kids. Every single thing anyone in her family buys for our daughter, we can't throw away when she grows out of it because it has "sentimental value". So she'll take boxes of stuff to her (gigantic) house because we say we have no room, and then what do you know, a few weeks later I find the toys back in L's room.

And now, because we have been refusing things, she has started leaving things on the porch. Like just shows up and drops things off and then calls us later to say she left some "presents" on the porch. Great.

katiewhompus

I'm praying it is not bad when we have kids. Right now Z has 2 rooms that are filled with toys, and that's with her mom purging them once a year. She's turning 4...

I've been guilty of being sad of her throwing things out though, I'll admit it. I just get annoyed with it because Dh will spend $100-$200 on various stuffed animals or learning games that are supposed to be good until age 7, and then she purges them 6 months later. We don't have that kind of money right now, so it makes me want to just buy her a $5 teddy bear and be done with it.

amalama

Our daughter is 3 and we maybe go through and throw things out every 6 months or so. Usually right before Christmas and right before her birthday in May. And sometimes I will randomly get rid of a few things here and there that I know she does not use. But it is always things she actually has outgrown, broken, or for whatever reason just doesn't use.  We have a toy box and 2 of those 9 cube shelves in her room, and then an entire (huge) playroom downstairs. The worst part is that I cannot remember the last time we bought her a toy that was not as a holiday/birthday present. She just has so much from everyone else in our families. His mom also likes to buy us a ton of child sized furniture. We have an armchair, a desk, and 2 or 3 child sized tables, and then outside we also have a mini picnic table and a lawn chair. We don't have any more room!!

katiewhompus

Sheesh. When we have kids I really want to make a rule where they are only allowed to get stuffed animals on a birthday, only allowed to get dolls at Christmas to try to keep it down. Books can be given at any time

Luckily my mom is big into making toys and then recycling them, so at least I know my side is going to not go insane. Plus they will be 2 miles away so if they are insane they will turn into "toys played with at Grandma's house".

amalama

BF's mom babysits 2-3 days a week for us (depending on my school schedule) and she used to bring at least one present with her every day she saw L. So we told her that she couldn't bring presents every time. So then it was every other time. Now we have a "special occasions only" rule, so she leaves things on the porch. And gets presents for every obscure holiday she can think of. And half birthdays. And we also have playrooms at both grandparents houses.

But hey, at least we rarely have to buy anything.

katiewhompus

"I don't know why the neighborhood thugs stole the presents mom..."

I tried to get sil to use that line today with her husband but she didn't. We found a toolbox but couldn't find a key for it, so we used a crowbar to pop the lock, assuming it belonged to Dh's father and we needed to sort it out before we took it. Then we found some tomato seeds from G's dad. Oh crap...

amalama

And wow for some reason I just realized that I said up there that my daughter is 3, but she actually is 2. She will be 3 next month so I guess I am just switching early. Oops.