Separate Destination Wedding and Low-key receptions 7-8 months in between

adlundgren04

We are planning to do a destination wedding at St. Kitts in late Jan/ early Feb 2013. It is pricey place and we want to keep it very small. We only plan to invite immediate family and life long friends. 30 people including kids at most. We want to have a reception for our other friends and large extended family later on. We want our reception to be at my mom's lake house in upstate NY but not until late Sept 2013. Is this reasonable? Is that to much time past actual wedding to do a wedding reception? It will be very down-home friendly. We are not doing traditional bridal shower or other things. Can we still register for gifts for just the reception in NY or will that turn guest off? Any advice or opinions are appreciated!

Thanks!

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_separate-destination-wedding-and-low-key-receptions-7-8-months-in-between?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6feed4c-ba31-42d8-ae69-3b180fa060b2Post:1114e64f-8426-47f9-9899-74a63be960bc">Re: Separate Destination Wedding and Low-key receptions 7-8 months in between</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd suggest either having it right after you return (like within the month), or just waiting until your 1 year anniversary and have an awesome party.  Personally, the anniversary party would be better for all the guests to not feel like they weren't good enough to be invited to the wedding.  Usually a very small intimate wedding, consisting of maybe 5-10 people, is ok, but anymore than that could get dicey.
Posted by Beaniebeach[/QUOTE]

<div>I feel like this is good advice.</div>

pokepoke27

You can't really have it both ways. You either want a small DW or a big princess day. Not saying one is better than the other, but you have to choose one. 

If you decide to do a DW with an AHR, the AHR is more of a party than a wedding reception. If you do showers/bachelorette parties before the DW, then only the people invited to the DW can be invited. Your registry should be small and for the DW only. If anyone wants to give you a gift that isn't invited to the DW, they will most likely give you money.

It does seem like a lot of time between the wedding and the AHR. Could you not do it closer together? If you do something very causual and laid back at your mothers lake house (think big BBQ or catered by your favorite resturaunt) you should be able to keep costs low enough to have it maybe in April or May instead.

annie912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_separate-destination-wedding-and-low-key-receptions-7-8-months-in-between?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6feed4c-ba31-42d8-ae69-3b180fa060b2Post:c573a5df-2bee-4826-a27c-f0e12ceafe94">Separate Destination Wedding and Low-key receptions 7-8 months in between</a>:
[QUOTE]We are planning to do a destination wedding at St. Kitts in late Jan/ early Feb 2013. It is pricey place and we want to keep it very small. We only plan to invite immediate family and life long friends. 30 people including kids at most. We want to have a reception for our other friends and large extended family later on. We want our reception to be at my mom's lake house in upstate NY but not until late Sept 2013. Is this reasonable? Is that to much time past actual wedding to do a wedding reception? It will be very down-home friendly. We are not doing traditional bridal shower or other things.<strong> Can we still register for gifts for just the reception in NY or will that turn guest off?</strong> Any advice or opinions are appreciated! Thanks!
Posted by adlundgren04[/QUOTE]

If they are not invited to the wedding, there should be no expectation that they would get you a wedding gift. I would not register.

adlundgren04

Thank you all! You're advice is exactly what I was thinking. I had a few close people say to register and I thought that was weird. I definitely would make it a party and plan to do evites not formal invitation. No dress, traditional dances, toast or anything. Plan to do at my mom's lake house in wine country finger lake regions. It is amazing. We would do clam bake BBQ style. The main reason for not doing it soon is I'm in a "dicey" family business working through things and I want people to see the region and lake at it's finest. It is amazing. It gets warmer later in the season so summer lasts longer. The lake stays warm and we have many water sport activites. We are inviting are friends to stay and enjoy. It may be to much and definitely understand if anyone can't make one or both events.

annie912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_separate-destination-wedding-and-low-key-receptions-7-8-months-in-between?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6feed4c-ba31-42d8-ae69-3b180fa060b2Post:9e8553e6-df1e-4a6f-bf2c-4d8bb8094700">Re: Separate Destination Wedding and Low-key receptions 7-8 months in between</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all! You're advice is exactly what I was thinking. I had a few close people say to register and I thought that was weird. I definitely would make it a party and plan to do evites not formal invitation. No dress, traditional dances, toast or anything. Plan to do at my mom's lake house in wine country finger lake regions. It is amazing. We would do clam bake BBQ style. The main reason for not doing it soon is I'm in a "dicey" family business working through things and I want people to see the region and lake at it's finest. It is amazing. It gets warmer later in the season so summer lasts longer. The lake stays warm and we have many water sport activites. We are inviting are friends to stay and enjoy. It may be to much and definitely understand if anyone can't make one or both events.
Posted by adlundgren04[/QUOTE]

Sounds very nice. Have fun and congratulations!