Wedding Etiquette Forum

Reception freak out

OK..so I'm trying to come up with ideas for reception decor and what I want do to. Which brought me to a thought-how am I to be sure everything will go smoothly at my reception if I'm supposed to be mingling and dancing and doing the bride thing? I sure as heck don't want to employ a friend or family member to do all the work but then again I don't want to be stressing about making sure everyone is having a good time and that everything is running smoothly. So who runs the reception if you want your guests to be guests and not working the entire time? And hiring planners and event coordinators is not in the budget.

Re: Reception freak out

  • What exactly are you worried about running smoothly?

    The venue staff will make sure the basics are covered - things like the doors being open, lights being on, bathrooms having toilet paper, etc.

    The caterers will take care of food.

    Bartenders usually make sure everyone's enjoying a drink (and won't overserve if someone is really too drunk).

    The DJ will play music and is usually in charge of things like the first dance, giving the mic to people for toasts, calling people over for cake cutting, etc. based on consultation with you.

    What else are you thinking you might need to oversee?
  • What do you mean running the reception? Like setting up and stuff? Our venue staff took care of the set-up or sometimes you can go in earlier in the day to set up. As for the reception part, if it is a buffet, I think the DJ announces when the food is ready and all other announcements.

    But I am still not really sure what you are asking..

  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Check with your venue; they may provide a corrdinator for the day of.

    You can hire an event coordinator for just the day of -- these are usually under $1000. There's one in my area who I like who's about $600. Can you make room in the budget for that?

    Lizzie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7286102-2631-44c9-b603-4c6b6c8b7a4dPost:5beb147c-ee56-4b2c-b67c-6a3d1527c735">Reception freak out</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK..so I'm trying to come up with ideas for reception decor and what I want do to. Which brought me to a thought-how am I to be sure everything will go smoothly at my reception if I'm supposed to be mingling and dancing and doing the bride thing? I sure as heck don't want to employ a friend or family member to do all the work but then again I don't want to be stressing about making sure everyone is having a good time and that everything is running smoothly. So who runs the reception if you want your guests to be guests and not working the entire time? And hiring planners and event coordinators is not in the budget.
    Posted by inkychick[/QUOTE]

    You can't have it both ways.  If you want someone to put your mind at ease, you have to pay them.  Your best bet is a day of coordinator, which is usually much cheaper than a event planner.  They are your point of contact person for the day to deal with all of your vendors.  If you want to save money you can pay a friend to do it, but it is a paid position.
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  • What exactly needs to be done? 

    Many DJs act as MCs... anounce tables dismissed for the buffet, cake cutting, grand entrance, etc. 

    Most reception halls have a rythym and can fill drinks, get people fed and clear tables, etc without the bride's help.
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  • Most people utilize a DOC (day of coordinator).  Many venues here provide one.  You could also try asking on your local board; a bunch of girls on our local board did a DOC swap.   If you're just talking about making sure events happen at the reception, a DJ will often do that, announcing the cake cutting, toasts, etc.

  • ok sorry my questions was rather vague. i've never done this before :)

    Ya clearing tables, making sure theres enough food/drink, toilet paper, when the speeches are, when the first dance is, when the cake cutting is... whatever! I don't know if when you rent a venue if they pretty much just give you the space and the rest is up to you or what. Never been married before or been involved in wedding planning so I'm not sure what all this entails...
  • It depends on your venue.  If you are just renting a hall, then usually you have to take care of the cleaning tables, unless you hire servers/cleaners.  If you are renting a venue with their own chef and servers, that's usually all included.  The DJ usually acts as the emcee, doing all the announcements. 
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  • direy25direy25 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary

    Do you even have a venue yet?  I see your wedding is in August 2012 - these are questions you should probably ask your potential vendors when you're scouting.

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  • The venue should have someone making sure there is enough toilet paper/ soap.

    Make sure your catering company is providing waiters, waitresses, and servers.

    The DJ will act as the MC and make sure the event flows smoothly.

    These things may cost more but I think you would rather spend a bit than have dirty plates sitting at the table all night and awkward "hey everyone look at us we are cutting the cake now!!!!"
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    I think the toilet paper situation will be fine!

    You need to speak to your venue about what they offer as each is different, but there's really two main groups who will run your reception

    Your DJ: Go over the timeline of dinner, dances, speeches etc. with him/her. They've done many weddings will be able to offer advice on this.

    Your venue point of contact: Ask them how weddings are typically done. How long is food served for, what time does the bar close etc.

    Lizzie
  • Well you'll need to ask each vendor what exactly they do. But I can't really imagine any caterer who wouldn't be on top of something like providing enough food and then clearing plates after the meal, so I don't think you have to worry about that.
  • So it sounds like you rented a hall that does not include catering? 

    The hall will take care of TP, lighting, unlocked doors, etc. 
    When you hire a caterer, make sure you know what you are getting...  Most will provide dishes and service. 
    As for toasts, cake cuting, etc.  Make a schedule and share it with the DJ (hire one who is willing to MC).  They can help with the anouncements and timing. 
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Talk with your venue.  Mine had a coordinator there running the show from the food/drink/venue side, so everything was served at the right time, the bathrooms were maintained, and the place was cleaned up after we all left.

    If you're having a band or DJ, they can announce to your guests when the speeches are starting, the first dance, etc.  If you're doing an iPod reception, you can perhaps ask the first person giving a speech to announce it on the microphone, then the last speech person can say "And now the happy couple will have their first dance" as your transition.  

    If yours does not provide one, you could look for a day-of coordinator who just manages things on the wedding day.  Some of them can be as cheap as a few hundred dollars.


  • LuluP82LuluP82 member
    500 Comments
    That's what a DOC is for. A lot of venues have those included, as PP have said. Otherwise, you can hire one for not a ton of money. We met with ours and explained our concerns/desires, she made a timeline for the day and sent it to the bridal party and families, contacted all the vendors to confirm, etc. She was definitely worth every penny-- I just got to get ready and then enjoy my guests.
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  • Also, look into local colleges with hospitality programs - some of their seniors might be willing to DOC for a reduced rate if you write an evaluation or review them for a portifolio...
  • I was concerned about this too when I started planning my wedding.  Our catering staff includes someone called a house manager. She assured me that she would make sure most things go smoothly and basically do a lot of DOC duties like be a point person for other vendors and make sure we don't run out of wine, etc.

    Our DJ will also MC.  So between our vendors they will take care of this. This is part of what you pay for. I would ask your vendors about things like this.

  • It's a combination of your DH, your caterer, and the staff of the venue.

    I hired a Day of Coordinator when I started to panic.  It was really very affordable!  I ended choosing a $500 package, but I had quotes as low as $200.  The second I hired her, I felt a huge relief. 
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