Wedding Etiquette Forum

Need opinions: Boutonnières

I'm meeting with my florist tonight to nail down all the flower-related details. I asked FI this morning what he thought about boutonnieres and his response is that he doesn't want to wear one. And he doesn't want his groomsmen to wear them either. Fine. I have no opinion, and if that's what he wants - no problem.

So... my question is. If the groom & his guys are not wearing boutonnieres, is it OK if we just skip them in general? Or should I have the ushers & fathers wear them? Would that be weird?

My poor brain is running out of room for this stuff. :)

Re: Need opinions: Boutonnières

  • Hmmm, I don't know I'm torn.  It's kind of a way to honor the dads and ushers so I wonder how they would feel to not have them. 

    Are your FI and the GM wearing tuxes?  What will they do instead of bouts, pocket squares?
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  • I'm not getting flowers for any of the guys and I didn't think it was an issue at all.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-boutonnires?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f72c0b42-6a6e-42c1-bd61-4c0aa7a093b7Post:dca38ba4-353d-4752-a3f8-c021112d8c51">Re: Need opinions: Boutonnières</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hmmm, I don't know I'm torn.  It's kind of a way to honor the dads and ushers so I wonder how they would feel to not have them. 
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    Dani, respectfully and all, but dudes aren't going to care that they didn't get a flower. For real.
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  • My FI and his guys will be wearing pocket squares and we're not getting bouts for either of our dads.  We don't have ushers, hopefully the groomsmen can handle that.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-boutonnires?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f72c0b42-6a6e-42c1-bd61-4c0aa7a093b7Post:9abd7bf4-d94c-4b5c-828d-8a73d6bbaf7b">Re: Need opinions: Boutonnières</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need opinions: Boutonnières : Dani, respectfully and all, but dudes aren't going to care that they didn't get a flower. For real.
    Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

    I think some would.   I  know our Ushers probably wouldn't have cared, but our Moms and Dads would have found it odd if we didn't give the Dads bouts.
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  • I think I get what Dani is saying.  FI wanted to just go ahead and do pocket squares, but my dad was a little weirded out about no boutonniers.  Some older guys think that it's traditional (fathers and grandfathers).

    But AK, if your FI and groomsmen just aren't into the idea of wearing a flower, it's perfectly okay to just skip it.
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  • We did matching pocket squares for all the guys - dads and my grandfather included.  No one was offended.
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  • Yup, the guys are wearing tuxes. We're having a camo wedding. Hehe. Actually they'll be in normal black tuxes with ties to match the BMs... and their vests are camo. I have extra camo fabric and was just planning on making the pocket squares out of that fabric myself.

    You're right about honoring the dads and ushers though... and 3 out of those 4 are my family. :) Both ushers are my brothers. My dad would be happy to wear one. FI's father is actually in the wedding party, but his step father is wearing a tux that matches my dad's (his request). Maybe I'll just do boutonnieres for them. FI's step dad will wear one if we ask him to, but I think he would prefer camo too. LOL!
  • Eh, I just really don't think so.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-boutonnires?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f72c0b42-6a6e-42c1-bd61-4c0aa7a093b7Post:33e1f9de-72e0-4634-abed-790ed0b33327">Re: Need opinions: Boutonnières</a>:
    [QUOTE]Eh, I just really don't think so.
    Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

    Well everyone is different.  Your guys might not care, my step-dad and H's dad would have.  My point is AK needs to consider her own guys and then decide. 
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  • TJ, I think MOST guys wouldn't care, but there are a few that would.  However - I think they'd be more likely to care if the GM were wearing bouts and the dads weren't.  If nobody is wearing a bout, then I think it's NBD because it's not obvious. 
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • I'm leaning toward skipping them now after reading more of your responses. The only person I'm hesitant about is my dad. I would almost bet that he would get himself a boutonniere, if I didn't offer him one. :)

    Actually, I could totally see my parents getting themselves matching ones. Maybe I'll just let it go and let them do that, if that's what they want.

  • Speaking of pocket squares, those of you who used/are using them, where did you get them?  I wanted something a little more interesting than the plain ones at Mens Warehouse.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-boutonnires?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f72c0b42-6a6e-42c1-bd61-4c0aa7a093b7Post:2f4c01bb-0e7b-444a-9d36-385c0a51e8e4">Re: Need opinions: Boutonnières</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did matching pocket squares for all the guys - dads and my grandfather included.  No one was offended.
    Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

    we did the same. My Dad got a spayshul color though.
    image
  • akhensley81akhensley81 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    edited July 2010
    TR I'm planning on making our pocket squares... I haven't looked in to it much. But I don't think it will be too hard.

    Edit: Just found this website (clicky). I'll probably use that as my guide... I have the fabric already. I'll just cut it to the right size and probably iron it so the folds are nice and crisp.
  • DH and the groomsen wore pocketsquares, and the dads/grandpas wore bouts. DH really wanted a pocket square, and I told him that he shouldn't wear both because it would look a little crowded, so he chose pocket squares for the "young" guys.
  • Are you doing any flowers for the moms? If so, I'd get bouts for the dads. If not, I'd just skip them all together.

  • Our ties and pocketsquares were from an etsy seller - Matilda & Me.
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    Married: 2010
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    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Why don't you just ask the dads if they want bouts? Wouldn't that solve the problem?
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  • Haha Leah, yes that would be the obvious answer. :) I want to decide first if I want to bother, since I'm paying the florist.
  • I'd get them for the dads... In our wedding, the guys are wearing paper bouts that I made, and the girls are carrying clutches, not bouquets, but I still wanted the moms to have corsages, so they'll be having the only flowers besides my bouquet.
  • We're not doing flowers at all, except for one I'm going to make to have something for my hands to do while I walk.
  • It'd be nice to honor your dads and grandfathers with flowers, since they may appreciate them more, but pocket squares for the GM and ushers are fine.
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