Need Advice: Am I obligated to invite my sister's in-laws?

jennbean81

I've recently gotten engaged and the future Mr. and I are planning a 2013 wedding. We both want a backyard wedding that is as small and intimate as possible (and a tight budget). We've already started to plan a guest list, unfortunately, I'm hitting a snag with my mother. 

My mother insists that I invite my sister's in-laws to the wedding to "keep the peace". I don't agree with her. I'm wondering what the etiquette on this would be especially since I've already started making cuts elsewhere (family members I haven't spoken to in over a year or more, acquaintances, etc.).

I've known my sister's in-laws for years, but I only interact with them a) when I have to and b) when it is something that involves my sister. There has been a lot of family drama with them the past few years (starting when my sister and her husband got engaged). The drama causes tension in my family especially between my sister and my mother. But is this enough of a reason to invite my sister's in-laws? 

Am I being unreasonable here? Please help.

Jana711

No, you are not obligated to invite them.  If would be a nice gesture if you actually had a good relationship with them and if the budget allowed it.  Since neither of these are the case, there is no need to extend an invitation to them.

achiduck

Nope, not required. I've only met my brothers in-laws 2-3 times and each time was at an event related to their wedding. Haven't seen them since. The way I see it, unless you're close to your sisters in-laws or have tons of budget/venue space there is no reason why you should have to invite them.

ootmother2

No, you're not obligated at all.  I can't stand my sister's in laws and avoid contact whenever possible

jennbean81

Thanks guys!

Grits8812

You don't need to invite her in-laws.  You do need to invite her husband though.

kate2188

I agree with PPs. If you were especially close to them, I could see why you might want to invite them, but since you aren't close and you only see them at events which involve your sister, I don't see why you would be obligated to invite them.

em01092

If you and your FI don't want them there and you are paying for the wedding yourselves, then you do not have to invite them. If your mother is paying and she wants them there that freakin badly, you may need to invite them because she gets some say if it's her money. 

amymaysa

The same thing has been happening with us. We included some, but put our foot down with others...we didn't wana wedding full of people we really don't know just b/c people think we 'have' to invite them. Since we are paying, it made things a little easier.

Maggie0829

I never in a million years even considered inviting my sister's in-laws.  I hardly know them and actually really do not care for them.  They are her in-laws not mine so there really isn't any need to invite them.  Now if you are close to them that would be different...but since it doesn't seem that you are I doubt they would even expect an invite.  You are no way obligated to invite them.

PhiSigFly

Wow... I wish I read this earlier. FI and I are paying for our own wedding and we were told by FI's parents from the get-go that we needed to invite his brother's in laws. We also just got a phone call last night asking with FI's brother's SISTER IN LAW did not get a save the date. FBIL's wife is one of 4, although only one lives in FL. I hope they don't expect us to invite the two from out of town, seeing as though we've met them once...