FB Drama

Sharpschruter22

Hi : I posted a facebook status over how rude and tacky the dollar dance is and received a nasty message over how bad I made someone feel because I inferred they were begging for money.

My status verbatim: Dollar Dance. Rude and tacky. Feel free to disagree, but I'm right.

Umm...ok. Maybe you feel that way cause you realize I'm right and you were rude? They didn't greet their guests and she said it was a good way to spend quality time with them. She also said she couldn't possibly have done a receiving line because they had 300 guests and it would have been rude to keep them waiting through that. Right...so how many songs did you make them sit through waiting for you to get done with your money dance?

Annnyway...
I started with an etiquette rant because I have an off topic question and need help. The other boards are dead.

I have candelbras as a type of my centerpieces, but I can't have candles without the flame being shielded. I have seen taper candles with glass shields over the top, but I can't think of what they are called so I can't find them. Do you know of these and where I can find them?

Sharpschruter22

Meh. My fb is my fb and I'm going to post what I want just like all the others posting political opinions and chik fil a jazz. If they don't like it, they can delete me. Same thing with the dollar dance. If you want to do it, do it, it's your wedding, not mine, but I'm not doing it at my wedding.

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:9a48df81-8934-4e55-9874-f99c7beec7c1">Re: FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE] It is a cherished custom in some cultures, especially Polish and Scandinavian.  If it is a cultural tradition, it is not tacky, and by criticizing it, you are criticizing a large group of peoplePosted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Um, I'm Polish and I wouldn't be caught dead begging people to pay for a dance with me.  And I've never been to a Polish (or any other kind of) wedding that included it.  Don't automatically pin a tacky tradition on one general group of people. 

A dollar dance IS begging for money.  You didn't need to infer anything because that's the truth about it.

yellowrose314

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:8310c399-5d1c-46db-a319-66a0b3891f78">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]Meh. My fb is my fb and I'm going to post what I want just like all the others posting political opinions and chik fil a jazz. If they don't like it, they can delete me. Same thing with the dollar dance. If you want to do it, do it, it's your wedding, not mine, but I'm not doing it at my wedding.
Posted by Sharpschruter22[/QUOTE]

<div>So your FB is your FB and you can post whatever you want regardless if it's offensive, but if someone disagrees with you they can GTFO? Sorry but it's a two way street; if you want to dish it out, you need to be able to receive the criticism or backlash that your comments create, no matter whether or not you think you're right. Maybe they will delete you, sounds like an appropriate action given your attitude... IMO anyways. Just sayin.</div>

Sharpschruter22

Yeah. Pretty much...minus the disagreeing part. I don't care if they disagree. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I was being a smartass. I can take it and did. I also told her I was sorry that her feelings were hurt and it wasn't directed at her. I didn't even know she had one. It doesn't matter. Come on ladies, I just want to know about the candle shields.

LetsHikeToday

I'm confused. You said "Feel free to disagree" but then got butthurt when someone disagreed. 

I grew up in Pittsburgh and the dollar dance is a HUGE thing there. Every single wedding I've gone to has had one. I didn't but I would never make a friend feel like shhhit for having one at his/her wedding.

I don't understand why you had to post it on your facebook. I know your facebook is yours and you can post what you want but it was calling out a specific group of people? I don't find that cool at all. 

[Deleted User]

IMO, your FB rant was silly and unecessary because you posted it knowing that one of your FB friends had a dollar dance. It was vaguebooking at it's finest and you can't tell me that you didn't know it would upset this person. If you truly disagree with the practice, the mature thing to do would have been for you to speak with the person directly.

Nancy00714

I googled candle wind protector and came up with this:

http://www.100candles.com/i/9822/Clear-Plastic-Candle-Wind-Protector

http://www.amazon.com/White-Candle-Wind-Protector-Pack/dp/B0036Z3FBW

freebread03

I think that criticizing people or customs or whatever people criticize on FB is immature and childish--and I think the "feel free to disagree but I'm right" is even more so.  I think the reason you have facebook drama is because you created it--I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with the dollar dance, but I do think its rude to criticize people or make others feel bad over facebook.

I also think you could have easily found what you're looking for if you just tried googling--but I think you may have been to busy creating facebook drama...

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:f4a88c38-84d0-4f8a-ba14-328751ac02d1">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah. Pretty much...minus the disagreeing part. I don't care if they disagree. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I was being a smartass. I can take it and did. I also told her I was sorry that her feelings were hurt and it wasn't directed at her. I didn't even know she had one. It doesn't matter. <strong>Come on ladies, I just want to know about the candle shields.</strong>
Posted by Sharpschruter22[/QUOTE]

<div>Methinks if you head off your actual question with a completely off-topic and controversial non-sequitur, then you pretty much waive your ability to ask people to stay "on topic" later. </div><div>
</div><div>Google "taper candle shields."</div><div>
</div><div>I personally don't think the FB comment was out of line.  I agree with you.  And a lot of people use Facebook as a place to air their opinions--even unpopular ones.    Not sure why you're telling <em>us</em> about it though. </div>

RamonaFlowers

How old are you?

I ask, because I seriously can't figure out how anybody that's allegedly old enough to be getting married isn't also old enough to know better about how immature and lame vague-booking like you did (And then use the "whatever, I do what I want, I thought this was America!" excuse to defend it) is.

crash2729

I don't know anything about candle shields, but I was going to suggust battery operated ones.

Also, I think you included the FB drama so people would come read the thread. You can't now stop talking about it. 

achiduck

Ditto Crash, if you really just wanted to know about the candle stuff you would have posted your subject as such. I think you didn't get the reaction you were expecting and are now having to save face.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:f4a88c38-84d0-4f8a-ba14-328751ac02d1">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah. Pretty much...minus the disagreeing part. I don't care if they disagree. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I was being a smartass. I can take it and did. I also told her I was sorry that her feelings were hurt and it wasn't directed at her. I didn't even know she had one. It doesn't matter. <strong><font color="#008000">Come on ladies, I just want to know about the candle shields.</font></strong>
Posted by Sharpschruter22[/QUOTE]

Really?  Then why include everything else in the post?  Skip the candle shields.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:e5c444f5-dd75-4bdf-b521-4a6f63aacd1a">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama : Really?  Then why include everything else in the post?  Skip the candle shields.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]
I think the venue requires that the flame be covered.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:587502f7-dba1-4714-8f17-4526442d581a">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama : I think the venue requires that the flame be covered.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

Covering the flame?  Then they need candle flame covers, not candle shields.  Use of candle flame covers makes sense.  Still, all of that other stuff she posted makes NO sense at all.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:72986eb2-7b1d-4531-bbc3-494726adc1de">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama : Covering the flame?  Then they need candle flame covers,<strong> not candle shields.</strong>  Use of candle flame covers makes sense.  Still, all of that other stuff she posted makes NO sense at all.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]
I have no idea what a candle shield is TBH. I figured it was a candle flame cover. <div>
</div><div>My venue had strict rules about the use of candles and the amount of space between the top of the container and the flame. Most venues that I've heard about around here do, which is why I assumed the venue requires them covered.</div>

nextrightthing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:25d42241-9e9f-497c-b073-f6fd6bf92e4f">Re: FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that criticizing people or customs or whatever people criticize on FB is immature and childish--and I think the "feel free to disagree but I'm right" is even more so.  I think the reason you have facebook drama is because you created it--I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with the dollar dance, but I do think its rude to criticize people or make others feel bad over facebook. I also think you could have easily found what you're looking for if you just tried googling--but I think you may have been to busy creating facebook drama...
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]

This , exactly. 

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:72986eb2-7b1d-4531-bbc3-494726adc1de">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama : <strong>Covering the flame?  Then they need candle flame covers, not candle shields.  Use of candle flame covers makes sense.</strong>  Still, all of that other stuff she posted makes NO sense at all.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

No...not necessarily.  My venue required that the flames be no higher than the top of the container holding the candle.

So I had votives, in glass votive holders, which the venue lit ahead of time to give the flame enough time to burn down enough that it stayed below the top of the votive holder.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:b4c0d520-9122-4a5b-811d-be90b3249210">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama : Methinks if you head off your actual question with a completely off-topic and controversial non-sequitur, then you pretty much waive your ability to ask people to stay "on topic" later.  Google "taper candle shields." I personally don't think the FB comment was out of line.  I agree with you.  And a lot of people use Facebook as a place to air their opinions--even unpopular ones.   <strong> Not sure why you're telling us  about it though.</strong> 
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

And then getting pissed off when it's commented on.

Sharpschruter22

In Response to Re:FB Drama:[QUOTE]I googled candle wind protector and came up with this:<a href="http://www.100candles.com/i/9822/ClearPlasticCandleWindProtectorhttp://www.amazon.com/WhiteCandleWindProtectorPack/dp/B0036Z3FBW" rel="nofollow">http://www.100candles.com/i/9822/ClearPlasticCandleWindProtectorhttp://www.amazon.com/WhiteCandleWindProtectorPack/dp/B0036Z3FBW</a> Posted by Nancy00714[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Nancy! You're an angel.

Sharpschruter22

In Response to Re:FB Drama:[QUOTE]Ditto Crash, if you really just wanted to know about the candle stuff you would have posted your subject as such. I think you didn't get the reaction you were expecting and are now having to save face. Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

Nah. I posted the only thing I had regarding what you all talk about. Everyday here people talk about the dollar dance and what a shameful thing it is...cause it is.

Of course I already googled candle shields. I spent quite a lot of time searchingand since there were people here in the wee hours of the morning, I thought they might know what I was talking about.

Thanks for all of your opinions, and a special thanks to those who answered my candle question.

Fancypantsamy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fb-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f778b8e6-aa0f-49b5-ac48-54f670fd6737Post:d6139eaf-5c8b-4a0f-834a-6e71fe0b243f">Re:FB Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama: Nah. I posted the only thing I had regarding what you all talk about.<strong> Everyday here people talk about the dollar dance and what a shameful thing it is...cause it is</strong>. Of course I already googled candle shields. I spent quite a lot of time searchingand since there were people here in the wee hours of the morning, I thought they might know what I was talking about. Thanks for all of your opinions, and a special thanks to those who answered my candle question.
Posted by Sharpschruter22[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I have a feeling you're baiting us/trying to create drama, considering the lovely remark you posted at the bottom of this post <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_talk-to-me-about-monograms">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_talk-to-me-about-monograms</a></div><div>
</div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">mean, hateful, vile spewing wenches, eh?</span></div><div>
</div>

crash2729

Hm. 

Sharp doesn't seem to be so sharp. 

The E boards usually finds out when one goes talking smack on other boards.

Peledreamsofrain

Facebook is a useful tool to share the triumphs/happiness/pride of your life.

I simply don't understand people who use it to post hateful, ostracizing, and negative statements.  Seriously, as if there isn't enough of that in the world, yay it's delivered to your pocket. 

Negativity and judgements breeds the same.  Don't be so pissed off and upset when your hate breeds more hate.  It's like an std, it spreads.

Sharpschruter22

In Response to Re:FB Drama:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FB Drama:In Response to Re:FB Drama: Nah. I posted the only thing I had regarding what you all talk about. Everyday here people talk about the dollar dance and what a shameful thing it is...cause it is. Of course I already googled candle shields. I sphuient quite a lot of time searchingand since there were people here in the wee hours of the morning, I thought they might know what I was talking about. Thanks for all of your opinions, and a special thanks to those who answered my candle question.Posted by Sharpschruter22I have a feeling you're baiting us/trying to create drama, considering the lovely remark you posted at the bottom of this postnbsp;<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/weddingclubboards_may2013weddings_talktomeaboutmonogramsmean,">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/weddingclubboards_may2013weddings_talktomeaboutmonogramsmean,</a> hateful, vile spewing wenches, eh? Posted by Fancypantsamy[/QUOTE]

Yup. And I meant every word.

nextrightthing

Confucius say: Better to be a mean, hateful, vile spewing wench on TK than on FB.