2 receptions?

eilsel2285

Hello!  I'm getting married at the beach on June 27th. NC is where I now live, but it's 12 hours away from friends and family up north.  My parents know quite a few people won't be able to attend the wedding at the beach so they wanted to have a party up north later on in July for people who couldn't travel down.  I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with the invitations.  Do I send everyone the wedding invitation and maybe put a small insert inside saying I will be having a party (up north) for those who can't attend in NC?  Or would I just send a seperate invitations about the party for those I know won't be able to come to the wedding?  I just don't want to make people feel like they need to come down when I know how expensive it will be.  I'm not sure on the proper way to do that.  Any suggestions?!  Thanks!

Mrs.B6302007

I would say you're always safer giving the guests a choice rather than assuming they won't travel and only inviting them to the 2nd reception. You could certainly do an insert inviting all guests to the 2nd reception.  The northern family will figure out that you're givnig them the option to not have to travel if they can't.  On your RSVP card, you can include ceremony, reception 1 and reception 2.

Mrs.B6302007

Depending on how much room is on your invitation, you might be even be able to add something at the bottom along the lines of " a reception on July X will be held in PA" underneath the "reception immediately following" line.  That would save you from doing a separate insert.

eilsel2285

That sounds great, thanks a lot!!

sucrets4

We had a similar thing for DH's family in Michigan, wedding was in NY.  MIL wanted to throw a backyard reception, and she spread it word of mouth before we even sent out our invites.  I worried about the exact same thing, but her mouth took care of it, lol. 

I do think it's good to let them know when you send your invites so that people have options, so if no one has a big mouth, then just put in an insert as the wise B said.

Fwiw, our 2nd one was super casual...I was going to wear the same dress that I wore to the RD, but just wore khaki capris and a top instead.  I think having 2 fancy receptions is kinda silly, but I guess it depends on your area and what people expect.

Zooloo

For my first wedding, we had the ceremony in Michigan, reception immediately following.  My parents threw a separate 'reception' in New York, where all of my family is, a few days later.  My parents prepared and sent totally separate invitations.  Knowing that they had the option not to travel, none of my family came to the wedding in Michigan; they all just came to the second reception, which was local for them.

sucrets4

Zoo, it's funny how we're totally opposite!

sarabellam

Zoo, I think if my family opted to skip my wedding, I would be more than a little hurt.

sucrets4

Sara - most of DH's fam didn't make the trip from MI to NY for ours.  He didn't expect any of them to come because of the distance.  A few people came, but just enough for 1 table. 

MyNameIsNot

We had a similar situation.  My DH's family is mostly in Peru.  Even if they had the cash for the international trip, getting travel visas would have been a nightmare.  We invited everyone to the wedding, and my MIL threw a second reception in Peru the following weekend.  She did separate invitations for the second reception, but everyone there was invited to both.  A few of DH's family were able to attend both. 

squirrly

Invite them to both & let them choose.  I hate being invited to an AHR and not the wedding. 

Kristin789

You are having one wedding, immediately followed by one reception.  You invite to those events anyone/everyone/no matter where they live.

Then, if your parents decide to host some kind of cookout party the next month, and you are invited, that's fine. 

But that's not a "second reception" because that would be super tacky to demand gifts from people who didn't even get to go to the wedding.

danieliza1127

I wouldn't assume that they won't make the trip.  Go ahead and invite the people you want to invite to the actual wedding.  Don't skip the invitation just because you assume they won't come, you could really hurt feelings there.

Our friends that got married in SC and then had a reception in IN sent one invitation with an insert that provided info on both.  Then the reply card had the options for the guests to indicate which they were coming to.  We traveled from IN to SC for the actual wedding and reception and we also attended the reception in IN later that month.  So don't assume people won't do both.  If you really want them at the wedding, invite them and let them make their own decision.

salt78

Because of the nature of our wedding, a lot of people aren't coming to the actual wedding either. MrsB is wise. I agree with everything she said.

ULTRANERDX

@Kristin789--Who said anything about demanding gifts? 

I'm struggling with these issues myself. We're getting married in DC, and my parents really want to host a post-wedding open house for us in Ohio. Once we sent out save the dates, a lot of people in OH got really stressed out about the money and kept apologizing/trying to find ways to scrape together money to come to DC. I really didn't intend for people to feel like that, so having a second get together was planned. The invites issue is difficult then, though, because what do you do with the people who you cannot invite to the main reception because of guest list/$$/space issues? They will certainly be offended that they're not invited to a local party. I feel like there is no good way out since there are people who seem to think that you're trying to host a fundraiser instead of a party at which everyone back home can meet my new husband :-/ Have you come to a conclusion on this?