inviting people to wedding and not reception??

SandiJames

How do I handle this?? We are having to have a tiny little reception (dinner for 20 people including us) but there are many many people who are so excited about "coming to the wedding"....
Our wedding is going to be in the evening on the beach. We aren't even going to have seats.
Help!!

salt78

You just invite the 20 people that are invited to the reception. Problem solved. 

Loopyseven

You cannot invite people to the wedding and not the reception.  The reception is considered the thank you to those who attend your wedding.  An exception is if your wedding is in a church which is open to the public.

And please reconsider the lack of chairs at the beach.  Even the shortest ceremony can leave guests standing for up to an hour by the time all is said and done.

ExpatPumpkin

Practice saying this:  "Oh, thank you so much for your interest in our wedding.  That's so sweet.  But we're just a having a small, family-only wedding.  Thanks so much for your kind words and well wishes."

Don't let people assume they're invited.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-people-wedding-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8648199-8456-475c-b3af-a7449557d834Post:70dfd1eb-3e70-47ae-8238-eb860f8bc6e2">inviting people to wedding and not reception??</a>:
[QUOTE]How do I handle this?? We are having to have a tiny little reception (dinner for 20 people including us) but there are many many people who are so excited about "coming to the wedding".... Our wedding is going to be in the evening on the beach. We aren't even going to have seats. Help!!
Posted by SandiJames[/QUOTE]


yeah.  You don't handle it.  That would be rude.

qwerty777

Just tell them it's very small and you can't accomadate everyone. Also, you need to provide seating for the people that are invited.

beatlesgirl25

I agree that everyone who attends your ceremony should be invited to the reception, and also add another vote for having seats. Your walk down the aisle and time at the altar might be less than 5 minutes for all we know, but guests have to arrive early and wait, and are the last to leave. Plus not everyone is able to stand for that long.

andy71781

You have to invite people to both.  Sorry.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-people-wedding-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8648199-8456-475c-b3af-a7449557d834Post:70dfd1eb-3e70-47ae-8238-eb860f8bc6e2">inviting people to wedding and not reception??</a>:
[QUOTE]How do I handle this?? We are having to have a tiny little reception (dinner for 20 people including us) but there are many many people who are so excited about "coming to the wedding".... Our wedding is going to be in the evening on the beach. We aren't even going to have seats. Help!!
Posted by SandiJames[/QUOTE]

You don't.  If they are at the wedding, they are at the reception.  Period.  To not invite them is really as rude as you can get.

My brother had a small wedding that was preceded by this exchange with an uncle:

Uncle: Well, you are my favorite nephew and I hope I'm there to see you get married
Brother:  Well thanks, but you're not gonna be.

Harsh?  Yes and I'm not suggesting that you go this route unless the asker is like my extended family where bluntness is all that gets through to them.  But you cannot exclude wedding guests from the reception.

danieliza1127

Just because people say they're excited to come to your wedding doesn't mean you have to invite them.  If you're having an intimate 20 person wedding, you just have to say something like "oh that's so sweet but we're just having a really intimate wedding, immediate family only".

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-people-wedding-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8648199-8456-475c-b3af-a7449557d834Post:5857d90f-e461-4f51-ae43-f2b054f7d835">Re: inviting people to wedding and not reception??</a>:
[QUOTE]Practice saying this:  "Oh, thank you so much for your interest in our wedding.  That's so sweet.  But we're just a having a small, family-only wedding.  Thanks so much for your kind words and well wishes." Don't let people assume they're invited.
Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

This. And ditto everyone else about seats. I am always early, and have also never been to a wedding that started on time. Give people a place to sit.

leah2b

Sorry, but you simply can't do this.  Ditto for everything said above.  Also ditto on the chairs.  It won't cost much to rent some chairs and I gaurantee you they will be appreciated by your guests.

Beachy730

Ditto everyone on the invites, and also renting some chairs.

There is no polite way to invite someone to only a part of your wedding.  Its all or nothing.  If these people really want to come to the ceremony that bad they might find out the info and come anyways just to see you get married.  We actually had quite a few people that we weren't able to invite who came to the church on their own to see the ceremony.

SandiJames

Thanks for all the feedback! Its logical, lol, I just started to panic the more people keep telling me how they can't wait to see us get married. I feel guilty that I can't have a nice reception for everyone, thanking them for their support of our relationship but I guess I have to get over it.