Wedding Etiquette Forum

How do you respectfully decline an invitation to be in someone Bridal Party?

Just what the subject says.

The woman who asked me was a friend in high school but we never even talk anymore, to the point she had to ask my mother(who works at her doctors office) to get my new telephone number which I switched over a year ago, and no we didn't talk all the time then I changed her number and didn't tell her, we just talked so infrequently that I never thought to let her know about the new number

It was a little weird to me, I guess under normal circumstances I'd probably say yes but I'm planning my own wedding and I moved away from my hometown, I just really don't have the money to spend on the dress or to give my time to her like she would deserve(i.e. bridal showers and things of that nature)

I'm pretty sure it's gonna hurt her feelings though, I really don't want to hurt her. I already told her I wasn't sure because of the reasons above and I needed to think about it. Her voice sounded really deflated and upset when I said it.

Is there anyway to turn her down nicely? Or should I just try to get the cash and do it for her? I feel a little guilty because it's supposed to be an honor to be asked and stuff.

Vacation

Re: How do you respectfully decline an invitation to be in someone Bridal Party?

  • I think if you end up agreeing you'll be back here complaining about it later.  I would just say, "I'm terribly sorry, but with my own wedding coming up, I'm afraid I just don't have the time to put into being a good BM, but I'd love to get together for lunch sometime."  That way, you're volunteering to be a friend, and you've eliminated her opportunity to tell you that she'll pay for the dress, no shower, etc.

    If you're not interested/excited/anything about this now, just think how annoyed you'll be in 6 months.  Saying no may be disappointing for her, but it will be easier for both of you in the long run if you do it now rather than wait and end up resenting it or dropping out halfway through.
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    Married: 2010
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • That's a good idea, squirrly.
  • squirrly that is the best idea ever and one I can live with, without feeling like utter crap as a human being! thanks!

    Vacation
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