Wedding Etiquette Forum

Engagement photo shoot: Are we rude?

When booking our photographer a few months ago he threw in a "deluxe engagement session," which means he would shoot our engagement photos anywhere in the state. Normally, this is done in his studio with a regular package. We know he did this to secure our business, and we were thrilled.

We've set up the shoot in Liberty State Park, which is where the Statue of Liberty is in Jersey City. This is about an hour from his studio, includes taking the turnpike (tolls) and requires driving through Jersey City (a little scary).

The photographer seemed surprised, but gave no grief. We picked the location because we both love it there. We thought it would be special to have photos with the NYC backdrop since that's where we got engaged.

However, now I feel bad putting him through the trouble. He probably expected us to pick the beach, like most couple here do. I feel like maybe we should do something nice for him. I know it's part of our contract and nothing is required, but I do recognize this has got to be a bit of a PITA for him.

What do you ladies think? Any suggestions?

Re: Engagement photo shoot: Are we rude?

  • He said "Anywhere". You picked "Anywhere". Have a blast!! Can't wait to see your pics!
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  • He said anywhere in the state and you picked your spot.  I don't think you have anything to worry about!  You could offer to pay his tolls, but beyond that, I don't see any issue here.  It sounds like a great spot for pictures!  Have fun!
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  • I'd feel bad too, but he said anywhere.  He should be lucky you don't want to go somewhere further away.  And he'll get some great photos for his portfolio, so at the end of the day everyone will win.

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  • after the shoot, i would send him a thank you card for him driving all that way. i would put a 50$ gift card (maybe a visa gift card, or for a restaurant or movie theatre) in with it, just to show your appreciation.

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  • I would leave it too! If he hasn't said anything maybe you are just assuming he was surprised? He is the one who offered the "anywhere!"

    I think it is pretty standard. Our photographer is driving about an hour and a bit to do our engagement photos. We talked about some locations together and ultimately decided on that one. It will be a 15 minute drive for FI and I.


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  • I think writing a nice, "thanks so much for going above and beyond (and literally the extra mile)" would be a nice touch. He did say anywhere. But I think a nice gesture is in order.
  • It seems like an amazing place! I wouldn't change it for HIM. You are paying him to shoot your pictures and he gave you the deluxe photoshoot ANYWHERE... be sure to come back and post them!! 

  • When I go above and beyond for a client, what makes me the happiest is that my efforts are recognized with a simple thank you note.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-photo-shoot-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8bbd328-c8ea-4772-8e02-56fc498e31e4Post:1124228b-a1c5-4579-bf90-3c7388bbd352">Re: Engagement photo shoot: Are we rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think writing a nice, "thanks so much for going above and beyond (and literally the extra mile)" would be a nice touch. He did say anywhere. But I think a nice gesture is in order.
    Posted by osumegs[/QUOTE]

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  • Thank you all so much for your advice!

    That is a good point that he'll be able to use these in his portfolio. He didn't have any shots from this park that he showed us.

    The more I think about it, he could avoid tolls if he goes a not-so-direct way. I have to send him directions, so maybe I'll send him two sets and he can decide what he's comfortable with.

    I'm thinking a nice thank you card is definitely in order. I was thinking of baking a snack to bring. It's going to be around dinner time, so maybe some muffins would be good.

    Thank again everybody. I'll post them when we get them.
  • We asked our photographer if she would mind driving about 1-1.5h away to do our Epics where we went to collage together, and she was actually excited not to do the same photoshoot on the beach that most of her brides choose. 
  • Ha, Jersey is a big state so he should have known what he was getting himself into when he made that offer.  I say go for it!
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  • I don't think you should worry about it.  He offered to go anywhere in the state, and you took him up on his offer.  He might even be excited to shoot somewhere he doesn't ordinarily get to shoot.  If you really want to, you could offer to pay for his gas and/or tolls since it's such a far drive, but I'd be surprised if he accepted.  Don't feel guilty.  Have fun!
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  • Take him up on it.  We did our session at the same place and wouldn't have wanted them any place else.  Make sure to take some inside the old train station. :)
  • Take him up on it, but tip him afterwards.

    And if he does a good job, be sure to write reviews about what an amazing job he did and how he went above and beyond anywhere you can.  Helping him get new business will make this worth his time.
  • I don't think you need to worry about it. If he had restrictions he would have narrowed down where he would travel. Jersey's a big state with different sites for different people. Some like the beach, while maybe some would go out west somewhere, and you like the New York City backdrop! Enjoy it, it's fine
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  • Don't feel bad about it, but keep this in mind when tipping.  I also agree with PP to make sure he knows he's appreciated with a card.
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  • He put it out there, you picked it. End of story.
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