Not invited....

LDubHawksFan

I never would have believed this article if I hadn't seen references to these "you aren't invited" notifications on these boards......what kind of narcissisttic world do we life in?!  At least the article indicates this is a bad idea....

http://thelook.today.com/_news/2013/02/07/16871656-youre-not-invited-alerts-new-wedding-trend-draws-criticism?lite=

lyndausvi

I saw that on the Today show  a while back.   Ridiculous in my opinion.

I know better then to ask someone if Im invited to any event, I ceraintly don't need an 'alert' to tell me I didn't make the cut.  When no invite comes in the mail  I will figure it out. 

AJuliaNJ

Wow, that is so unbelievably rude! And unnecessary. Most people will at least have an inkling that they may not be invited and then when an invitation doesn't come, they have confirmation. The only way I'd specifically tell someone they are not invited is if they asked me directly.

misshart00

I'm confused why the article basically says it's a bad idea, then tells you how to do it at the end.

TKzilla

I considered asking my (distant) cousin if we were invited to her wedding, but only because she sent us a save-the-date card... and then no invitation. But I figured it was her mistake, not mine, and in the end was really glad we didn't go. It was camo-themed.

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f90a84a9-d851-4966-82ed-cd6cf236bfedPost:c3042e7f-97cc-4c8f-887c-6b4b51872527">Re: Not invited....</a>:
[QUOTE]I considered asking my (distant) cousin if we were invited to her wedding, but only because she sent us a save-the-date card... and then no invitation. But I figured it was her mistake, not mine, and in the end was really glad we didn't go. It was camo-themed.
Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

In this case, if she had sent you a STD, I would have asked.  That was rude on her part, but otherwise I would never fish for an invite.  Sending out something telling people that they aren't invited is crazy and really presumptuous that they were <em>dying</em> to come to your wedding. 

btw, the camo themed cracked me up.  I could totally see my brother doing that!

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f90a84a9-d851-4966-82ed-cd6cf236bfedPost:c3042e7f-97cc-4c8f-887c-6b4b51872527">Re: Not invited....</a>:
[QUOTE]I considered asking my (distant) cousin if we were invited to her wedding, but only because she sent us a save-the-date card... and then no invitation. But I figured it was her mistake, not mine, and in the end was really glad we didn't go. It was camo-themed.
Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

I would have asked in this situation. I would assume it got lost in the mail since the "if you send a STD, you must send an invitation" rule is so widely known.

Simply Fated

One of the comments from the article:
The correct reply when you receive one of these notices is to send back "Can I come to the divorce instead?"

That made me giggle.

@misshart, I guess that's their attempt at trying to stay objectional? Or pretend to be, in case there is backlash from rabid brides who did this.

Another comments:
When my husband and I got married, we had a 100 guest limit for our reception due to money.....but we invited everyone to the wedding and explained to them that we would have another reception later at our home. We explained that due to budget constraints (we paid for our own wedding), we were limited. Our friends totally understood and many came to the wedding despite not being invited to the reception. I guess it's just how you explain it.
I just don't get why she would think that would be a good idea at all.


And because I'm feeling angsty right now... what's up with brides using "we're paying for the wedding ourselves" as an excuse for anything? Would you not have had a budget if your parents were paying? It makes no sense to me.

lyndausvi

Simply  - "we are paying for it ourselves" is one of my biggest pet peeves.   Couples use it as an excuse to be rude.

Jen4948

I saw that article.  Doing this is so rude.

StephJean83

I think the biggest reason why brides think EVERYONE wants to be invited is they post every thing wedding related on FB. I always deflect when someone asks me on FB because I don't want it out there for everyone to know.

soontobehanby

They actually talked about this on our local radio station.  you could call in and give your opinion.  Unfortunately, a lot of women called in supporting this fad.  I was on my way to work, or I would have called and straigtened everything out.

Simply Fated

I have a feeling some brides (and grooms, MOBs, MOGs, etc) are misinterpreting some people's comments to them. "Congratulations on your engagement" shouldn't be intrepreted as, "I want to come to the wedding."
Sometimes "congratulations" just means "congratulations."

Also, some brides (and grooms, MOBs, MOGs, etc) are just arrogant and really think that everyone must want to come to their wedding.

honeyjade22

REALLY!!!

This is an incredibly tacky "trend". You dont need to go out of your way to say na na na nana na na YOU CANT COME, this really infuriates me.

GardenMaven

I honestly cannot imagine what goes through a person's head that makes them say, "We really need to send out these reject messages ASAP, so people aren't getting overly giddy every time the mailman shows up as they anxiously await our invitation.  Wouldn't want co-worker I rarely speak to to pass out from over-excitement!"  People who think this is necessary need to get over themselves!

Angelface225

This was on my morning show that I watch this morning. I was horrified!

Twowarlocks

I can kinda sorta maybe understand why people do this. My FI and I planned an October 2012 wedding and send STD cards in the spring since we chose a holiday weekend and everyone was coming from out of state. Fast forward to June/July and we decide to postpone it to October 2013 because we couldn't afford it and I didn't have time to plan a wedding. We sent everyone a letter explaning that we had to postpone and why. 

Now we've decided on October 2013 and we can't invite everyone we previously sent a STD to. Frankly, I don't care if most of them are there or not. So I know I'm going to get some emails about where their invitations are. If it wasn't so tacky to send an email like in the link, I would. But I know better and I have to put on my big girl panties and turn people down when they ask.