WWED?

sarabellam

My older daughter and I are both members of the church choir. The annual choir Christmas party is coming up next weekend. In years past, both daughters have been welcomed to the party, with their names included on the invitation. This year a different person is hosting, and neither daughter is invited. So even though older child is involved in choir, she is being excluded from the choir party.

How would you ladies handle this?

ohwhynot

Well, a lot of people don't really know the etiquette of "only those whose names appear on the invitation are invited."  A lot of people still assume that by putting the parents' name on the invitation, the whole family is invited.  

 

I think I'd ask around the other choir members and see how they are interpreting the invitations - did this person really mean to break the tradition and invite only you?  My guess, honestly, is that you and at least the other daughter in the choir are invited.  I wouldn't be surprised at all if you and both daughters were meant to be invited, but this person doesn't know the rule of invitation etiquette.  

danieliza1127

I would just ask the host.  I think this isn't as strict an etiquette thing as a wedding, so I wouldn't have any problem going straight to the host and just nicely asking if your daughters are welcome, especially the one who is actually IN the choir.

emilyinchile

Yeah, I'd ask too. If it turns out the daughter who's in the choir isn't even invited, I wouldn't go.

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto Dani.

sarabellam

She is hosting it in her home (huge), so space isn't a problem. She did invite spouses, and at least 2 people who aren't choir members (but adults, and since the adults in question are my parents, I do know this for a fact.) Thanks for the advice ladies. I didn't want to come off as rude or presumptuous by asking if my children are invited.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f917cc76-ef8a-4e9c-a464-4b9601496e3aPost:e54b5d1d-6476-47c5-a557-3bd4918c7df9">Re: WWED?</a>:
[QUOTE] I didn't want to come off as rude or presumptuous by asking if my children are invited.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]


I don't think it's rude in the case of your one daughter who is actually in the choir.

Maybe it's an adults only party though?  Still, you don't know unless you ask.

Mrs.B6302007

You could say "Is the party for ALL choir members, regardless of age?"  Then you're not flat out saying, "Hey, dillweed.  You forgot to put my kids' name on the invite."

salt78

Throat punch?

sarabellam

It's possible that it's an adults only party, and I don't have any problems with that. But this is being called the choir party, and I have to confess that I'm a little miffed that the daughter in choir wasn't specifically invited. If she truly meant for this to be an adults-only party, it's analagous to forbidding any children from a RD or reception, even though the children are in the WP, KWIM?

Mrs.B6302007

I'd be ticked off, too.  They can't call it a party for choir members but have it AO only.

Update us when you get a clear answer.