Telling Kids to Behave

jinnlinn

My Cousins kids are pretty well known in family to misbehave, we were not having kids at the wedding but that has since fallen away.  Is there a polite way to tell my cousin to make sure her kids behave that day LOL.  We aren't really that close and the thought of her kids running around, running into people and taking pictures with the cameras makes me nervous LOL.   Not sure if I can even say, watch your kids in a polite way! 

bethsmiles

I really don't think that you will be able to tell her to make sure her kids behave in a polite way.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:d7c66775-03f4-4072-8116-c4d417b1417d">Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]My Cousins kids are pretty well known in family to misbehave, we were not having kids at the wedding but that has since fallen away.  Is there a polite way to tell my cousin to make sure her kids behave that day LOL.  We aren't really that close and the thought of her kids running around, running into people and taking pictures with the cameras makes me nervous LOL.   Not sure if I can even say, watch your kids in a polite way! 
Posted by jinnlinn[/QUOTE]
Nope, not a polite way to do that. Don't do it. No one takes well to having their parenting/discipline skills called into question.

georgia_bride09

You can tell her until you're blue in the face, but people who don't watch their kids won't watch them even when admonished.

Save your breath. She'll either discipline them or she won't.

Your post didn't warrant laughing out loud (twice), BTW.

laladypoet

I bet your mom handles it. my mom would tell her sister to keep her grandkids in line.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Hey - I'm right there with you.  There are a ton of kids in my family, and most of them are really horribly behaved monster brats.

But other than sniping them with tranquilizers - there's no way to get them to calm down.  The parenting they've had has created this situation, and if a parent who has raised a child to be a hellion tells said hellion to shape up, do you think the little shitbag is going to listen?  No.

Just suck it up and deal with it.  You'll look like a jerk if you ask those parents to keep their kids in line.  They really should know better since they're attending a wedding - but if not, that's not your problem.  Just ignore the kids!

pumpkinpumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:5b257e48-8893-4896-ada2-cd765e652d8a">Re: Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]You can tell her until you're blue in the face, but people who don't watch their kids won't watch them even when admonished. Save your breath. She'll either discipline them or she won't. <strong>Your post didn't warrant laughing out loud (twice), BTW</strong>.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Georgia, I love you. A lot.

zitiqueen

Why did you go from no kids to kids?

laladypoet

I was wondering that too.

careyjohnson

I'm new here but I saw your post and thought I should respond.

I don't know why you changed you mind from no kids to kids, but I'm sure you had a good reason behind it. If there's a good reason, then it will have to outweigh your fears of having bady behaved children present. You have to trust the parents, or have an adults-only wedding. Imagine how you would feel as a mom if someone told you to make sure your kids behaved. Eesh.

Liberty27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:44ffcd67-694c-4493-a7f9-555822441b76">Re: Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey - I'm right there with you.  There are a ton of kids in my family, and most of them are really horribly behaved monster brats.<strong> But other than sniping them with tranquilizers</strong> - there's no way to get them to calm down.  The parenting they've had has created this situation, and if a parent who has raised a child to be a hellion tells said hellion to shape up, do you think the little shitbag is going to listen?  No. Just suck it up and deal with it.  You'll look like a jerk if you ask those parents to keep their kids in line.  They really should know better since they're attending a wedding - but if not, that's not your problem.  Just ignore the kids!
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>Personally, I would go with this.</div>

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:44ffcd67-694c-4493-a7f9-555822441b76">Re: Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey - I'm right there with you.  There are a ton of kids in my family, and most of them are really horribly behaved monster brats. <strong>But other than sniping them with tranquilizers </strong>- there's no way to get them to calm down.  The parenting they've had has created this situation, and if a parent who has raised a child to be a hellion tells said hellion to shape up, do you think the little shitbag is going to listen?  No. Just suck it up and deal with it.  You'll look like a jerk if you ask those parents to keep their kids in line.  They really should know better since they're attending a wedding - but if not, that's not your problem.  Just ignore the kids!
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Ativan comes in a liquid...

jinnlinn

The whole now having kids thing just happened today ( with 3 weeks to go) A couple Babysitters backed out and 1 couple couldn't find a sitter ( their kids are so young anyway it didn't really matter) So, my parents and I decided be best to tell the people who are attending if they needed to bring their kids they could.  Tried to be fair to everyone.  I figured I couldn't really tell her to watch her kids but thought maybe someone out there had same sitiuation.  

Did not even noticed I did the LOL twice, oops!  I laugh when I feel akward, guess I type it too!

MsFarmer

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:d7c66775-03f4-4072-8116-c4d417b1417d">Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]My Cousins kids are pretty well known in family to misbehave, we were not having kids at the wedding but that has since fallen away.  Is there a polite way to tell my cousin to make sure her kids behave that day LOL.  We aren't really that close and the thought of her kids running around, running into people and taking pictures with the cameras makes me nervous LOL.   Not sure if I can even say, watch your kids in a polite way! 
Posted by jinnlinn[/QUOTE]

I would be upfront with her is she get mad to dam bad. People should be told something when their kids are lilttle brats. I have people I am not inviting because their kids and behave or can they.

stacy&tige

You really can't tell someone to watch their kids' behavior without sounding rude. I would suggest getting some activites for the kids to occupy them. I've got a few coloring/activity books, crayons, makers and stickers for the kids attending my wedding. Nothing crazy, just something to occupy their hands/minds...it was all really cheap too since school supplies are coming out at Walmart.

In the end, you probably won't even notice them. You'll be focused on having fun with your friends and family.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You could just not invite her kids LOL.

melliott09

I'm guessing you don't have kids yet, cause sometimes, there's just nothing we could do, but walk away from the situation with them.

But that being said, is there someone in the family, maybe your mother, who could talk to her? Is she the type to take offense and blow everything out of proportion? If she is, it may be a lost cause, but it's worth a shot to have someone "remind" her to try and keep the kids sitting and quiet as best as possible.

Regardless, it's your special day, don't let anyone ruin it!!

brookelynpaisley

"Dear relative, if you don't watch little Susie and Tommy at my wedding, I'll chop off all your fingers and toes and cram them down your throat. Hahaha. Love, Jinnlinn"

budvar1012

I'd still look for a babysitter if possible, and be sure to give the kids something to do besides run around the adults. That, then hope for the best and if they do get out of line and you see it, tell the kids to cut the shite and tell the mom/dad/whichever relative they are most afraid of, they're pissing you off with bad behavior.
 
It sucks to have people who have kids you are stuck worrying about because their lackluster parenting is infamous.
 
*you could always threaten the kids privately ahead of time as well*

MsFarmer

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:e4c1eb76-5036-43af-bf84-64966da59eef">Re: Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]  *you could always threaten the kids privately ahead of time as well*
Posted by budvar1012[/QUOTE]
This always worked for my mom when I was little. It also worked on her grandkids (not mine I have none"  

thelowies

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-kids-behave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9b88784-47db-4d0c-9828-655dfed4b8c7Post:ca9f916e-cb05-411d-b22e-a0832ae607d1">Re: Telling Kids to Behave</a>:
[QUOTE]You really can't tell someone to watch their kids' behavior without sounding rude. I would suggest getting some activites for the kids to occupy them. I've got a few coloring/activity books, crayons, makers and stickers for the kids attending my wedding. Nothing crazy, just something to occupy their hands/minds...it was all really cheap too since school supplies are coming out at Walmart. In the end, you probably won't even notice them. You'll be focused on having fun with your friends and family.
Posted by stacy&tige[/QUOTE]

My cousin did this at his wedding and it was wonderful.  They had about 30 kids at their wedding (a couple of them are total monsters...they shoved their hands into a relative's cake at his open house a couple years ago), but I rarely saw them because they were preoccupied in the "playroom."

Ashes_3

I hope you really don't have to worry about this with all the family that will be there. I know I won't, my mother and grandmother and most of my aunts will gladly take care of any child and or parent that isn't acting they way they should in public. Most of my family knows this and takes steps to keep their children under control.Good Luck