Shower vs Wedding gift and thank yous

hoveyc

We are getting our wedding gifts sent to my parents house.  How do you know what a shower gift is and what a wedding gift is?  Is there a time line that should be followed for writing thank you notes... for instance, all gifts that come up to 2 weeks after the shower are shower gifts and all other gifts are for the wedding?  I remember reading something somewhere regarding this, but of course now I can't remember  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Melanie2012

I don't think I've ever heard of sending a shower gift directly to the house...generally, the shower gifts are just going to be the ones you physically receive at the shower.

Someone please correct me if I'm mistaken.  :-\

GeauxTigers17

Melanie, that's my understanding as well. OP, I'd send notes as soon as the gifts arrive. You can just say "we love the blender and can't wait to make our favorite smoothies" without mentioning the shower or wedding.

As far as an official timeline, I don't think there is one, but the "you have a year to send a thank you note" thing is a myth. I would try to send the notes within a month of the wedding if you can. My mom (super old school) doesn't start complaining about people until about the 3 month mark though!

lthom17

Wouldn't guests bring the shower gift to the shower?  And send the wedding gifts to your parent's house, as you asked?  I don't know anyone that would send the shower gift, since they are usually very small and people that do not attend are not expected to send anything.

diehld

I would just write as guexs stated above we loved the blender and that way if you get another gift from them after the wedding or at the wedding then its not awkward. I could see some of the ladies that are friends with my FMIL getting us a shower gift and not attend the shower... One of her friends got us an engagement gift and we didn't have a engagement party... Some people just really like to give so if you are unsure what the gift is for just write back how much you love it and don't put a party with it... 

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-vs-wedding-gift-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9ecb967-623c-447e-9e31-fe39af8bfc6cPost:e0271b3f-cf8e-4ba0-84e5-b2488072270a">Re: Shower vs Wedding gift and thank yous</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Wouldn't guests bring the shower gift to the shower?</strong>  And send the wedding gifts to your parent's house, as you asked?  I don't know anyone that would send the shower gift, since they are usually very small and <em>people that do not attend are not expected to send anything.
</em>Posted by lthom17[/QUOTE]

My BM traveled to my NY shower from Boston, I traveled to my NY shower from Philadelphia - she shipped my gifts to my Philadelphia house and I love her for it - we opened them here, together (me and FI) and she had a card for me at the shower.

My aunt (Washington state) wanted to get me something for my shower - she shipped the gifts to my parents home in NY for me to open with other family at the shower; it was unexpected, but some people who cannot attend (3000 miles twice in 2 months was too much for her to travel, but she wanted to send her well wishes) will still send gifts.

jessicabessica

Write thank you notes as soon as possible after you receive a gift, but I wouldn't wait more than two weeks. 

Don't assume an early gift is for a particular event (engagement/shower/wedding) unless you know for sure (i.e. the person told you).  You wouldn't want to say "thanks for the shower gift" if the person intended it as a wedding gift and is not planning to get you anything else.  I had special shower TY notes, and I only used them if I knew it was intended as a shower gift. 

[Deleted User]

I started getting wedding gifts weeks after I sent out the invitation... so I don't think your timeline could apply... I kind of judged it by who it was from.. usually if it was for the shower they wrote something about the shower in the card... (if people got inviteto a shower and couldnt makeit, most ofthem sent the gifts directly to my house- some sent it to the house the shower was at)

missy68

My mom sent my "shower/luncheon" gift to the hostess, because she knew I wouldn't take it to open it there.
And she was right.

hoveyc

Thank you so much ladies!  This has been great help!  I appreciate it so much!!