Destination wedding

KaylaMCC1983

My FH and I will be paying for our own wedding because my family said they didn't have anything to contribute.  My FMIL is paying for our honeymoon.  I have a very large family and we decided that in order to save money, we would be getting married in Las Vegas and then will have a party after we return.  When I told my mother our plans, she asked how I expected my family to pay to attend.  I am willing to help pay for accomodations but am I expected to pay for my family (5 people) to fly out?  I feel like this might be a move to dissuade us from getting married out of town, since they have not been very supportive of my engagement.

What would be resonable for my fiance and I to agree to pay for?  What about other guests?

ohwhynot

I don't understand how flying to vegas to marry will save you any money if you're going to have a party when you return.  Isn't the party the expensive part? 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

When is your wedding? Tell her, "Well, that's why we're telling you now and giving everyone a year to save up."

BUT, on the other hand, if your immediate family really can't attend, why not do a JOP wedding with immediate family and have dinner after? Or a BBQ with a short ceremony in front of everyone?

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9f41259-88dd-419d-9333-1270e0266009Post:84c21f63-64b2-4e39-ad40-fd0e54af9552">Re: Destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand how flying to vegas to marry will save you any money if you're going to have a party when you return.  Isn't the party the expensive part? 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

This.

If you want to take off and get married do it. And let people know that if they want to come out and witness fine. But paying for others to fly out kind of defeats the purpose of a money saving wedding.

ETA: I also have to agree with Mery, just JoP with your family and have a BBQ. You can still have family at your wedding and a low cost reception.

KaylaMCC1983

We will be incorperating it into an annual cookout that my FBIL has every year.  Since its an all day thing, and not a structured reception, we will be able to save about $4,000 over a home based "wedding".  Las Vegas weddings are a package deal and include everything from the location to the photographer, which would add up if we did things at home.

At this point, before adding in covering any of my families costs, my fiance and I will only be spending about $2000 instead of $7 to $8,000.

emilyinchile

If your immediate family doesn't have money to contribute to your wedding, it doesn't seem that crazy to me that they wouldn't have money to fly to Vegas and stay in hotels for several days.

You're not obligated to pay for them, but I think it's pretty crappy to purposely plan a wedding that your close family cannot afford to attend. I don't see why you can't just have the same limited guest list as you would for a DW but do the ceremony in your hometown.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9f41259-88dd-419d-9333-1270e0266009Post:b09e1651-d5e5-43b2-b554-0720ef95cf10">Re: Destination wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]We will be incorperating it into an annual cookout that my FBIL has every year.  Since its an all day thing, and not a structured reception, we will be able to save about $4,000 over a home based "wedding".  Las Vegas weddings are a package deal and include everything from the location to the photographer, which would add up if we did things at home. At this point, before adding in covering any of my families costs, my fiance and I will only be spending about $2000 instead of $7 to $8,000.
Posted by KaylaMCC1983[/QUOTE]

True, but if you don't hire a photographer, it will honestly only cost a few hundred bucks, tops,  to get a marriage license and a justice of the peace to perform a ceremony in your family's backyard.

BUT I understand having a vision for your wedding. So it really depends what you want - do you WANT your family there? Would you rather have it in Vegas without them? Can you afford to pay for their hotel rooms if they pay for flights? Can you tell them to suck it up and pay and live with the possibility they might not attend?

My family has to fly across the country for my wedding, which is where I live, and if they couldn't afford it, I'd pay for them.