Paying for Guests of immediate family members

[Deleted User]

My brothers do not have long-term girlfriends, but they really want to bring a guest each to my destination wedding. My parents are paying for the wedding, and my mom and I were trying to figure out if we would be obligated to pay for the girls' airfare/lodging/etc. Anyone's thoughts? Thanks so much! : )

mkrupar

You don't have to pay for anyone's lodging or airfare for a DW. However, if your parents are paying for everyone else's lodging or airfare, I would think it kind of rude to say, "Sorry you two, you're on your own. Everyone else gets an all expenses paid trip."

If that's not in the budget, then if you're brothers really want to bring dates, they can pay for them to come. But that's a convo your mom needs to have with them since she's the one paying. 

Avion22

I would assume that your brothers would be paying for their own tickets and hotel rooms, and those of their female guests (or that the guests would cover their own expenses).  Your parents aren't obligated to pay for them at all. 

If your brothers can't afford their own airfare/lodging/meal costs, and your parents will be covering the brothers' expenses, then IMO they are in no position to be asking to bring additional guests.

cfarmer2

You or your mother are not obligated to pay for travel or lodging, just like other non-destination weddings. You would only be obligated to pay for their meal at the reception. I think it would be extremely generous to offer to pay for the other things. 

AdeleDazeem

You don't have to pay for anyone to travel to a destination wedding...

[Deleted User]

Thanks, everyone! My brothers are still in college, so my parents are covering all of their expenses, which is where the sticky situation of paying the expenses of the dates comes in. We'll just have to have a discussion and figure it out. : )

kateguess22

I think that you are under no obligation whatsoever to pay anything towards their flights or hotels or anything like that. Don't feel obligated whatsoever.

How is your budget going? If you are coming in under budget your parents could use that money leftover to reimburse your brothers for some of the cost of flying out their dates.

ajmom2two

I kind of think if the guests they want to bring are just random friends/girls they are not in a relationship with they should cover the cost (or work it out with said guest) if they really want to bring someone.  Its not like they wont know anyone at the wedding, they are your brothers.  

RebeccaB88

I think that if your brothers aren't in a position to pay for their own trip expenses, then they have some serious balls if they think they have the right to ask someone to pay for their date's expenses as well. 

kmmssg

Even if they turn out to be serious relationships, the brothers and their girlfriends still have to pay for the trip.  Even if your dad has said he will pay for your brothers.

ginadog

"I think that if your brothers aren't in a position to pay for their own trip expenses, then they have some serious balls if they think they have the right to ask someone to pay for their date's expenses as well."

DITTO.