Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!

saralevering

Hi everyone!

I am getting ready to ask my girls to be a part of our wedding.  However, I am lost on one thing.  My best friend is currently engaged and will be married by the time my fiancee and I have our big day.  Will she be a maid of honor or a matron of honor?  I am not sure since she is currently engaged but will be married at the time of our wedding.

HELP! 

sark425

calm down. 

If she's married the day of the wedding she will be a Matron of Honor.

mica178

The title only really matters for the programs, which won't be seen by people until the day of.  She'll be Matron of Honor at that point.

dumdumfroggie

I'm not sure why you need to know this before you ask her?  

She's a maid now, but on your programs (if you have them) she'd be a Matron.

But as PPs said, calm down.  This is not a life or death situation.

saralevering

I am paying to have letters printed asking each girl personalized with their title on them so I wanted to to be correct.  I wasn't sure if it was a Maid or Matron...

Thanks for the info.

tenofcups4me

Technically matron, though I rarely hear people actually use that expression. My married sister kept calling herself my maid of honor; she hated the word matron. When it came to programs, we ended up calling both her and the best man "honor attendants."

fullfrontalnerdity

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:1e84dc07-bea7-440b-9942-2b5b0ae96fa9">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am paying to have letters printed asking each girl personalized with their title on them so I wanted to to be correct.  I wasn't sure if it was a Maid or Matron... Thanks for the info.
Posted by saralevering[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Just use the title that accurately describes her now. She's not married yet. If she objects to the use of "maid" instead of "matron," demote her to BM status, or worse, handing out programs at the ceremony.

</div>

saralevering

She will be fine...lol.  It was just my nerotic self that decided to ask b/c I wanted it to be correct.  I'm new to all this wedding stuff!

tenofcups4me

I'd use "matron" in the letter since that's what she would actually be at the time of the wedding.

zitiqueen

This isn't really something you should be fretting about 16 months in advance.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:9a8e157d-067d-4a03-9c32-beee8ca10df9">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP! : Just use the title that accurately describes her now. She's not married yet. If she objects to the use of "maid" instead of "matron," demote her to BM status, or worse, handing out programs at the ceremony.
Posted by fullfrontalnerdity[/QUOTE]



Just when I thought I'd heard it all.

Also, op, 16 months is too early. I would wait another 4 or5 to ask

tpender13

OP, please wait until AT LEAST late summer or early fall of next year before you ask your wedding party. There are so many posts here from people who asked theirs early, then either they had a falling out or the relationship changed, and they regret having asked some of them. Six months is plenty of time to pick, order, and alter dresses, so there's really no need to have your wedding party chosen this early.

MRSBJS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:43b6f795-1e1f-44fa-a23a-df54199dde4c">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP! : Is this for real?  Demote her because she doesn't want to be referred to as something?
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

Chrissy I think she's just kidding lol 

Um...I hope ;)

amys325

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:307fbb0e-f3ad-4d09-a23b-0482ea94932e">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP! : Chrissy I think she's just kidding lol  Um...I hope ;)
Posted by MRSBJS[/QUOTE]

I took it as sarcasm as well.

fullfrontalnerdity

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:307fbb0e-f3ad-4d09-a23b-0482ea94932e">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP! : Chrissy I think she's just kidding lol  Um...I hope ;)
Posted by MRSBJS[/QUOTE]

<div>Correct-a-mundo!</div>

Cynthia1207

Does it really matter all that much?  OP, why is this such a big deal?

Anyways, at your wedding, technically she'd be a matron, for now she's still a maid. Either way she'll be doing the same thing: Smiling, taking pictures and signing your registry as your witness. 

saralevering

I guess I never meant it to come across as a "big deal"...looks like everyone seems to think I'm making too much of nothing.  And to me, it does matter which is why I was simply asking. 

Also, I don't see a problem with asking them in the next month or so; these are girls I've known for years. 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:29484d0e-3b6a-4372-8bed-945f0adc0afe">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I never meant it to come across as a "big deal"...looks like everyone seems to think I'm making too much of nothing.  And to me, it does matter which is why I was simply asking.  Also, I don't see a problem with asking them in the next month or so; these are girls I've known for years. 
Posted by saralevering[/QUOTE]

You're right. The Maids and Moms board and the Wedding Party board and the Etiquette board definitely are <u>not</u> filled with people whose relationships with girls they've also known for years have changed between the time they got engaged and their wedding two years later. And they certainly aren't posting asking how to go about kicking those girls out of their wedding parties, that's for sure.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-honor-vs-matron-of-honor-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f9fc18fc-5ac6-488a-b825-005f1d222ccfPost:29484d0e-3b6a-4372-8bed-945f0adc0afe">Re: Maid of Honor vs Matron of Honor - NEED HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I never meant it to come across as a "big deal"...looks like everyone seems to think I'm making too much of nothing.  And to me, it does matter which is why I was simply asking.  Also, I don't see a problem with asking them in the next month or so; these are girls I've known for years. 
Posted by saralevering[/QUOTE]

<div>You made is seem like a big deal by screaming "NEED HELP" in your title and then "HELP" in your message.</div><div>
</div><div>We don't like to be screamed at.</div>

saralevering

Oh my god, seriously?  Next time I'll be sure to "tone down" my subject for you.  Sorry for making a big deal out of nothing...I'll keep that in mind the next time I post on here.

sharp0099

saralevering, I didn't interpret you typing "HELP!" as if you'e literally freaking out given what your question is, I assume you're  simply asking for help.   However, keep in mind when you use upper caps and exclamation points most people will read it like you're yelling (and since this is the etiquette board people will point it out).

Now back to your question, I agree with everyone who said to call her a Matron of Honor since she'll be married at the time of your wedding.