Not in the hotel sense...
FI and I still don’t know what we’re doing for a wedding. It’s complicated.
My mom wants to fly out for a vacation this summer. She’s flown out two times before, and I put on very nice vacations for her. She really hates flying, but put a margarita in her and she’s ready to buy a ticket right then.
To our surprise, she also said she'd like to see us get married. She said this two days after my dad has passed away (he passed 6/1/2012). This is a SHOCKER! My mom and I have not discussed anything wedding related since November 2011! She said some rude comments to me back then and I avoided all wedding talk with her. That’s how hurt I was. I was even unsure if she was going to the originally planned wedding or not. The travel was too much for her among other things she was dealing with.
We did know that we’d get married privately or with just a few guests (like FI’s parents) and not redo a whole wedding event. FI's parents said they'll be there wherever it will be.
Soooo, if mom wants to be there, we have to make it accessible for her. She could never get her own car and hotel, etc if we went with a DW. The easiest way? Get married in our current town. If in our town, we can tote her around in our car, she can sleep in our spare bedroom, take the shuttle in from the airport, etc. It will be easier.
Getting married in our own town was not something we originally considered however. We wanted to “go big” (Jackson Hole, Canadian Rockies) – a nice consolation prize for canceling a wedding. When she asked what our plans were for the wedding, I said I don’t know but we are thinking in September I may feel ready, but nothing is planned.
Knowing that my mom's feelings on flying I asked, "Do you want to come out in August or September?"
Mom, "August"
Me, "Would you fly back in September for a wedding if you were just here in August? I don’t think I’m ready to put on a wedding by August in time for your vacation."
Mom, "I don't know; we'll have to see how I do."
I thought she’d say that. Here I went and spent 4 weeks convincing myself that it would be just fine to get married in our neck of the woods just because of her single comment of wanting to be there. We’d have our parents there, we’d go to a nice restaurant for dinner. Then go "big" for a honeymoon. Then she goes and says this!!!
Ugh. While there were some pros to having to locally (less expensive, we know the area, the vendors), it was not quite what I envisioned. I said we’d fly her back out the following month if it turns out we get married in September. But now I’m not sure if I should even focus on a wedding here because she doesn't even know if she'd get back on a plane! Might as well go back to the Canada idea! I do want to be nice, she just lost her husband! If we go for the Canada idea, she is automatically excluded since she does not have a passport and she does not travel alone (goes for any other DW ideas).
What is the right thing to do (as in taking the high road)? Have it in our town with the hopes that she'd fly out again, or just have it at one of our other ideas and tell her she is invited (so she doesn't feel excluded), but know that she'll never make it?