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Etiquette

Poll: How much did you have your BMs match?

I'm curious. One of FI's friends is getting married, and the bridesmaids are matching down to their nail polish and hairstyles. How about you, and why/why not?

My girls are wearing the same dress, and I think I'm going to give them a ballpark color request for shoes, but I think that's it.
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Re: Poll: How much did you have your BMs match?

  • Technically they were all in the same dress but they all wore it differently (halter, traditional straps, crossed at the back) and they all had everything else different. I didn't care, so long as they were all in black.
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  • Same dress. Same-ish shoes (just silver strappy, whatever they have), and the necklace is probably going to be part of the BM gift and so it will match too.
  • Well, I only have one, so......
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  • I asked for cobalt and floor-length, they picked their own shoes and hair. We went to a wedding before ours where the bridesmaids all had the same dress, shoes, hair, and jewelry and, granted, I loved the shoes and the hair and dress looked really good on all of them, but I did find it pretty odd.
  • I gave them a color and they took it from there. I saw their dresses for the first time the day of the wedding and they looked fabulous together.
  • Same dress in different colors, same shoes, similar necklaces (sterling silver chain with different charms on each one) but they can do their hair/nails/other jewlery however they want. they don't even  HAVE to wear the necklaces or shoes I got em if they end up not liking them. I just thought they were super cute and am an impulse shopper at times :)
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  • We're going to have all the dresses the same color, but the rest..... is very up in the air right now.
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  • See, I wanted my girls to buy a dress that they liked, and that looked good on them, as long as it was black.  But they refused, and made me pick something out for them. 
  • Mine all wore the same dresses and shoes. Not because I was a nut about it, but because they thought that was how it had to be. Whatever. :)
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  • My BMs were in matching dresses and black shoes of their own choosing.  The rest was up to them.  I couldn't tell you what color nail polish two of them wore and I only remember the color MOH wore because she had a mani/pedi appt with her mom before she came to my parents' home.

    Our wedding was close enough to "Stepford" as it was.  I didn't want a Stepford wedding party to boot!
  • My girls wore different dresses in the same (or alternating) colors. They chose the colors. They all wore different shoes and jewelry and had their hair and nails done differently.
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  • Same dresses.  Other than that, they can do whatever they want.  Which, oddly, nobody seems to want to do...they're all freaking out because I didn't pick out shoes or jewelry for them.
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  • I didn't care if they were different shades, but they all liked the same one, so that's what they got.  I asked for silver shoes, but really didn't care.  Accessories and hair were completely up to them.
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  • Mine had the same dress, but I wanted them to have their hair styled in whatever way made them feel beautiful and comfortable, and the same with accessories and shoes (which no one was going to see anyway underneath the long dresses). My bff has some deformed bones in her feet that require special shoes, so she wore these black Mary-Jane style chunky heels and I didn't care. Also, it would have been stupid and cruel for me to make them all wear matchy shoes in that circumstance.



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  • In Response to Re: Poll: How much did you have your BMs match?:
    [QUOTE]Same dresses.  Other than that, they can do whatever they want.  Which, oddly, nobody seems to want to do...they're all freaking out because I didn't pick out shoes or jewelry for them.
    Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

    I felt this way, too!  (and fishy and amoro mentioned it) 

    We're the generation that's breaking the mould, I guess.
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  • I told all my girst to pick whatever floor length dress they wanted, and they all just picked the one my MOH had already picked out.
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  • In Response to Re: Poll: How much did you have your BMs match?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: How much did you have your BMs match? : I felt this way, too!  (and fishy and amoro mentioned it)  We're the generation that's breaking the mould, I guess.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    I figure it's just another trend.  In 20 years your kids will be all "OMG Mom, your dresses didn't match" and they'll burst out giggling.

    I only had one MOH, I bought the dress and just asked that it be fitted by a seamstress and not her mom.  The rest was up to her.
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  • My girls were my BMs, so they had different black dresses and black shoes, then DH's cousin who stood with him had one a black dress and orange shoes. I'm not sure anyone even noticed that there were three completely different dresses, shoes, etc. on all three. But Cousin lives in Liverpool, and my girls would never want to match each other, so they all just picked out whatever.

    My MIL did notice that Manda didn't take out her nose ring the day of, but she got over it. I hope. :)
  • I am going to have my BMs buy their dress at jcrew. All will be black and the same type of fabric but other than that they can just pick what looks best on them.
  • I'm buying their dresses and therefore I feel totally justified having the final say AND requiring them to match. But I'll take their opinion into mind when deciding. I don't care about anything else, including shoe color. I'm sure they can find shoes that go with a brown dress.
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  • I'm not married yet, but I plan on just telling the girls the color and letting them choose the style dress. This way they may even be able to use it another time. They may or may not have similar or same shoes, that will be up to them. My MOH will have a teal color dress and my 2 bridesmaids will be in baby blue. The shade of the baby blue actually may be a bit different since my one BM is out of state. I will be ok with this. I know it won't be a huge difference and I don't care. As long as they are happy.

    The same with the men as well, they will have a choice between a vest and belt for the suits and Best Man will have teal and the GM's will have baby blue.  FI is going to  see how it looks first, but we thought of maybe putting it together with the best and tie being different. This is just an idea right now. We have no clue if this will look right or not.
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  • 6 months ago, I seriously thought that it was my own original idea to have all different styles w/ the same color. Then I started getting bridal magazines, signed up on this web site, etc and come to find out its a huge trend! oh well I still like the idea of BM getting to be unique in some way. Mine are all wearing the same colors/ designer and theyre all the same length but Im encouraging them to accessorize with their own individual taste
  • I said "same dress, different everything else" even though that's close - but not quite - what we're doing.

    The dress: same length, designer, fabric and color.  But each BM gets to have their own style.  I want them to look good and be happy too!  One of my BMs and my sister/MOH already have other plans for their dresses afterward (other weddings).  So I know it was the right choice for them.

    The shoes: nice, black, closed-toe.  They have to be shoes though - boots would look silly in the summer.

    The accesories: I got them the same necklaces, but everything else is going to coordinate, but still be unique for each BM.  My sister/MOH and I found the neckalces, and new they would be perfect!
  • I just told them aqua and knee length and they picked the dresses.  I do think I picked a specific enough color that they actually didn't have that many choices, which I feel bad about, but they ended up looking great. 

    Mine also freaked out that I didn't pick the dress and accessories.  They actually decided on their own to wear silver shoes because I didn't care and they told me repeatedly it would look stupid if they had wildly different shoes. But then again one of my BMs also still refers to herself as a Bridesmaidzilla. :)

    I wonder what the next trend will be? Matching PJs? NONmatching PJs?
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  • Oh, I went to a wedding last summer where the BMs were miserable due to the bride needing them overly matched. 

    I promised my FH and my sister/MOH that I would not do that to them.
  • I have one attendant (my sister), so she doesn't match anyone. She got to pick her own dress (I suggested the color), and I am paying for her hair and make-up, but she gets to pick that too.
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  • My girls all ended up with the same hair, but they all wanted the same hair style.  It was their choice. 

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  • I asked them to wear long and black. I didn't care if it was strapless, sleeveless, with sleeves, what kind of material it was, or anything else. They knew it was an evening wedding with an outdoor ceremony and indoor black-tie optional reception so that was a guidepoint for them, but I didn't  have any particular requests.

    I didn't at all care about shoes, jewelry, hair, etc -- I wanted them to all wear whatever they felt comfortable in. (Jewelry, for example, ranged from a cool medalion from a Peace Corp stint to a necklace with multiple diamonds; shoes ranged from flat with no hose to hose and spike heels.) They all looked great and I do know for a fact that three of the four have worn their dress since (and one of them wore a dress she already owned). The fourth was pregnant at the time so I doubt she wore it again, but I'm betting she's lent it to other pregnant friends who needed something formal to wear.
  • My sister wore "silver/grey" and my 2 BMs wore black. They chose the dress. I didn't really care what they wore as long as they were comfy and felt cute.


  • My girls are going to be wearing the same color, fabric and length in a particular line, but they have about 25 styles to pick from.  I asked them to wear black shoes, whatever kind they wanted.  Everything else is up to them.
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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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