"I'm Sorry We Couldn't Invite You"

MrsG2B83

Our guest list is out of control. With justCLOSE family and  friends, we're already pushing 150 (if I could get it down to 125, that'd be great). Most of my family lives out of town and some may not be able to make it. I have a B list made up of girls from high school, old co-workers and distant relatives, but if I start inviting all of them we'd be pushing 200!

How do I say to people "hey, I'm sorry, I love you and don't want to offend you but my reception site is busting at the seams and I couldn't invite you" in a polite way. I was thinking about sending wedding announcements to them.

Just not saying anything at all and not inviting them would be rude.....right?

laurenclaire1386

Not saying anything wouldn't be rude, but you can send announcements if you want to.

kathrynhabibti

LC speaks wise.

Beachy730

You don't need to say anything to them ahead of time about why they weren't invited, unless they ask.  You could send announcements after to anyone not invited if you wanted to.  People understand though that weddings have limits. 

alyssalowe

I would send wedding annoucements to anyone you could not invite. I also would include a note of "We decided to keep our wedding day as intimate we could with our large family but would love to get together with you (two) one night to catch up"  Hand write the message so it doesnt seem so stock. There is nothing wrong with wanting your day to remain as small as possible. We are sending announcements to the million people (really though I think we are purchasing 100 or so) we have seemed to meet in our life, a few were rude and asked about if they were invited. We explained to them our large families (both sets of families have divorced and remarried) and no one was offended by the answer.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-sorry-couldnt-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc49f645-2911-4ed0-9511-b7726e916095Post:8ccb4aad-8683-4b30-87ed-baa3b7295200">"I'm Sorry We Couldn't Invite You"</a>:
[QUOTE]Our guest list is out of control. With justCLOSE family and  friends, we're already pushing 150 (if I could get it down to 125, that'd be great). Most of my family lives out of town and some may not be able to make it. I have a B list made up of girls from high school, old co-workers and distant relatives, but if I start inviting all of them we'd be pushing 200! <strong>How do I say to people "hey, I'm sorry, I love you and don't want to offend you but my reception site is busting at the seams and I couldn't invite you" in a polite way.</strong> I was thinking about sending wedding announcements to them. Just not saying anything at all and not inviting them would be rude.....right?
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]


You never tell people what they're not going to get/be able to do.  THAT would be rude. You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why they're not going to be invited.  Not saying anything is not rude.

MVJP10

Inviting 150 people and then telling people you couldn't invite them because you're trying to keep the guest list small is kind of misleading.  I would just not say anything unless they ask down the road.

Kristin789

You say nothing to those not invited.

If they ASK you, you say, "Oh, well, my parents are hosting the wedding, and they have to keep the guest list small for a family-focused wedding."

I would never send announcements to those not invited, because that's just yelling that they weren't close enough to be invited to actually witness the ceremony and actually eat a piece of cake... but they sure are close enough to get a big gift and get it sent to you.  Oh, sure, I realize that a wedding announcement CAN be answered by a nice Hallmark card with a nice note under the signature.  But really, everyone sees an announcement as a gift demand.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]You say nothing to those not invited. If they ASK you, you say, "Oh, well, my parents are hosting the wedding, and they have to keep the guest list small for a family-focused wedding." I would never send announcements to those not invited, because that's just yelling that they weren't close enough to be invited to actually witness the ceremony and actually eat a piece of cake... but they sure are close enough to get a big gift and get it sent to you.  Oh, sure, I realize that a wedding announcement CAN be answered by a nice Hallmark card with a nice note under the signature.  <strong>But really, everyone sees an announcement as a gift demand.</strong>
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
Nope. That being said, I don't plan on sending out announcements, but I wouldn't view receiving one as a demand for a gift.

MrsG2B83

Yeah, I didn't know an announcement was a gift demand, either. The things you learn.....