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ashkin07

.

laurenclaire1386

I would keep the shower guestlist to only those that are invited to the actual ceremony. And I hope you're not planning your own shower.

redheadfsu

Anyone doing non-traditional things like this, should have a small shower (those invited to the actual wedding ceremony) or decline showers. Otherwise, you will offend people. When one chooses to be non-traditional, one chooses to not have the traditional things like showers.

[Deleted User]

If you invite someone to the shower, they must be invited to the wedding & reception. It is considered rude and gift grabby to only invite people to the shower and not the wedding.

squirrly

Well, I'd be offended to get just the reception invite in the first place, and double offended for you to ask for two gifts and STILL not let me see the darn ceremony.

Yes, I've been a guest in this situation.  Yes, I was bothered by it.  Yes, I am STILL bothered by it.  Yes, I judge the bride. 

ccdaisy

yeah- ditto PP's...the reception is the most expensive part, so I'm assuming the budget isn't the issue. I'd be offended if I were invited to the after party, but not worthy of seeing the ceremony. If your ceremony venue is too small- I'd look else where for a location I could include everyone. 

TriSaratops10

Just curious, but why limit the ceremony? (honestly curious)

Celles

If you're not serving a meal at the reception, what are you doing?

It's fine to limit the guest list to immediate family if your budget won't allow for more, but it's not fine to turn around and ask everyone who you weren't able to invite to bring you gifts not once but twice -- first at a shower, and then again at a reception where you apparently aren't planning to serve food. 

Mrs.B6302007

Why have a bigger reception if you're not going to even offer a meal?  Just take your ceremoney attendees out for a meal together.