Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Shower Faux Pas?

My wedding is in 29 days. We've been engaged for over a year. I am 33, only child, pretty much paying for 80% of the wedding. I thought that it was okay to invite any of my lady friends to my bridal shower, including ladies that I did not invite to the wedding, due to my budget. I had my hostess, who is my co-worker and friend, invite all of the ladies from our office. I only invited the all of my bosses to the wedding, aside from my 2 co-worker/friends who are also my bridesmaids. It's a family owned and operated company. One of my bosses was the first person I told about my engagement, as my fiance proposed to me on my lunch hour. After reading other posts regarding Bridal Shower invitee etiquette, not inviting anyone that was not invited to the wedding, I feel kind of like a jackass. I thought it was okay for me to invite all of the ladies from my office, which is like my 2nd home. My reasoning was that although I could not afford to invite everyone to the wedding, I at least wanted to have all of the ladies in my life at the shower. This was my way of including them in this most special occasion of my life. I didn't think it was tacky. I thought of it kind of like a baby shower. You don't invite everyone to the birth, but you do invite everyone to the shower. Now I'm worried that some of my co-workers might think I'm "gift-grabby", as one person commented. Ah well. I just didn't want any of my co-workers to feel left out of the celebration at my Bridal Shower. 
The Future Mrs. James Batt

Re: Bridal Shower Faux Pas?

  • If the invites are already out there is nothing you can do, if not do not invite them. I think a work specific shower would have been okay if offered but that would have been it. I actually invited work people to the wedding and not the shower for the very not wanting to be gift grabby reason.
  • Work showers can be an exception to the rule that you must invite someone to the wedding if you invite her to a shower.  When was your shower (during or right after work)?  Was it only work people?  For me, those are important to decide if it was actually a work shower.  
  • Your budget doesn't entitle you to ask for gifts from people you aren't inviting to your wedding!
    Although work showers are an exception to the rule, it sounds like this isn't an office shower, its a regular one.  And your analogy to the birth is ridiculous.  Of course you don't invite people to the birth, give me a break.  You did something rude, and I think you know it.

    Not much you can do about it now, but be sure to send your co-workers prompt and effusive thank you notes!
  • What's done is done.  But, no - you should not have invited those people to your shower.  The reason that etiquette rule exists is because you do come across as just wanting a gift from anyone and everyone while skipping out on hosting them properly at your wedding.  Showers aren't a way to include people - they are a pre-wedding celebration for the bride and her wedding guests.

    Some of them are bound to feel slighted.  But!  Others may not be so harsh.  You never know.

    There isn't much you can do now short of inviting all of them to your wedding. 

    Smile.  Be veeeery gracious.  Be veeeeery understanding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd7c03be-426f-4632-b389-bdc52f30fc7bPost:34de8d6c-f973-4d18-a864-53b695893a01">Bridal Shower Faux Pas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is in 29 days. We've been engaged for over a year. I am 33, only child, pretty much paying for 80% of the wedding. I thought that it was okay to invite any of my lady friends to my bridal shower, including ladies that I did not invite to the wedding, due to my budget. I had my hostess, who is my co-worker and friend, invite all of the ladies from our office. I only invited the all of my bosses to the wedding, aside from my 2 co-worker/friends who are also my bridesmaids. It's a family owned and operated company. One of my bosses was the first person I told about my engagement, as my fiance proposed to me on my lunch hour. After reading other posts regarding Bridal Shower invitee etiquette, not inviting anyone that was not invited to the wedding, I feel kind of like a jackass. I thought it was okay for me to invite all of the ladies from my office, which is like my 2nd home. My reasoning was that although I could not afford to invite everyone to the wedding, I at least wanted to have all of the ladies in my life at the shower.<strong> This was my way of including them in this most special occasion of my life.</strong> I didn't think it was tacky. I thought of it kind of like a baby shower. You don't invite everyone to the birth, but you do invite everyone to the shower. Now I'm worried that some of my co-workers might think I'm "gift-grabby", as one person commented. Ah well. I just didn't want any of my co-workers to feel left out of the celebration at my Bridal Shower. 
    Posted by TheSweetestDay2012[/QUOTE]

    Your bridal shower is the most special occasion of your life?
  • "Your bridal shower is the most special occasion of your life?" LOL
    image
  • Thank you all for your input. I appreciate it. I always do nice things for everyone here at the office. For the past two years, I've made Christmas ornaments for each person that I work with to hang on our tree. I am a very sentimental person and I love giving gifts to everyone. I had already planned on giving awesome prizes for the Bridal Shower games and to send everyone home with a nice favor. A couple of the ladies that I work with expressed that they wanted to attend the Bridal Shower, eventhough they knew that they would not be invited to the wedding, and I didn't want to exclude anyone due to office politics. As for my marriage being the most important occasion of my life, yes, it is. There is no greater relationship than marriage. I can see now that I should have looked into the etiquette of Bridal Shower invitations a little more before we sent the invites out. In this case, I think it will end up to be okay. I am big on heartfelt sincere thanks and will be sure to let each and every single guest know that I appreciate her and that I am thankful that she has shared in this special occasion with me.
    The Future Mrs. James Batt
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd7c03be-426f-4632-b389-bdc52f30fc7bPost:17ba915a-b9f9-46e5-8a29-afceb79924e1">Re:Bridal Shower Faux Pas?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Your bridal shower is the most special occasion of your life?" LOL
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

     My marriage is the most special occasion of my life.
    The Future Mrs. James Batt
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