Wedding Etiquette Forum

Who to invite?!

I was going to ask this over on "Second weddings" but there is just not much action over there, so Im wondering your thoughts/experience with this?!

So its my second wedding and FI's first, we will be having a somewhat traditional wedding, married outside on the grounds of a museum and reception inside the museum hall, in his hometown, so about 1.5 hrs min for all of my guests.

FI has 140 guests on the list and I am simply having trouble coming up with mine. I will obviously be inviting all of my immediate family, however we are questioning whether it is ok to invite all the close family friends and friends of my parents that came to my first wedding. I would love them to all be there, as would my parents but we are just worried about how they will view attending a second wedding of mine?!?

thoughts?! thanks :)
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Re: Who to invite?!

  • I would go ahead and invite them and dont worry about how they will view your wedding.  I would think they would be offended if they weren't invited to share in this day...even if it is your second.  If they want to be there, then they will be there and if not, then they are sure to miss out on a beautiful day

     

  • I would invite them.  Since it's your FI's first wedding, I doubt many people are going to side-eye having a traditional wedding.  And if they do, they don't have to come.
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  • I think you should invite anyone you think will be happy that you got a second chance at a loving marriage
  • I would invite whoever you would like to be there. You are not asking for another gift, you are just asking for their presence. The only exception would be if you or your parent's think that they might have moral objections to a second marriage in which case, you wouldn't want to offend them.

    PS My FI has been married before and we invited everyone that was invited to the first, and most are coming :)
  • There's been a real sea change on this in the last few years, and I really wouldn't worry about it too much. If, and that's a big if, there's a small contingent of folks opposed to second weddings, then I'm sure you'll get a 'no' RSVP in the mail. But don't miss out on a great opportunity to see dear friends and family!
    Lizzie
  • Invite them. They will decline if they don't want to come, but if you want them there, don't exclude them.
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  • I understand your situation, because it's the same for me and my FI. My immediate family (mom, dad, sis, FBIL) will be the only family from my side at our small-ish (90 invited) wedding, but FI's whole family - aunts and uncles, first cousins, gparents, etc. - are all invited. I didn't invite my extended family for two reasons: It's enormous. They all live no less than 5 hours away from where we are having the wedding. Instead, we are sending announcements after the wedding. I know it is hard to get over a semi-awkward feeling about asking people you invited to your first wedding. I still feel awkward about some elements of our wedding, but I think it's natural. Ultimately, I think it comes down to how close you are to your extended family. Do you see them on a regular basis? We only see my extended fam about once a year, so that made a difference, too., If you are close to them, I think you ough tto invite them and not give a single worry about getting side-eyed. If they are able to make it and wish to attend, they will. If not, that's okay, too.
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  • This is my 2nd marriage and FH's 3rd, and most of the people we are inviting have attended at least one of his past weddings.  His family and friends are really happy for us and I want them to be there with us as we celebrate our marriage. 

    I think it will be just fine. 
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  • If YOU want them to be there, invite them. If they care about you enough, they will come. (Unless work/family/financial issues stop them)
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