Bachelorette invite but no wedding invite

kmilon01

We're having a small, destination wedding with a maximum of 50 people.  There are still people I consider friends and would love to invite them to my bridal shower and bachelorette party, but I don't know if that's rude or not.  The wedding is really family only and some extremely close friends, but I do have other friends that i want to share this time with. Is it inappropriate to extend an invite to the party but not the actual wedding? 

Mrs.B6302007

Yep, inappropriate.  Anyone who is invited to pre-wedding parties should also be receiving wedding invitations.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-invite-but-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fdfb52fa-f0fd-43a5-9352-effa9f322c30Post:55e2ab27-f693-472a-9a87-82ff43d774f1">Bachelorette invite but no wedding invite</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having a small, destination wedding with a maximum of 50 people.  There are still people I consider friends and would love to invite them to my bridal shower and bachelorette party, but I don't know if that's rude or not.  The wedding is really family only and some extremely close friends, but I do have other friends that i want to share this time with. Is it inappropriate to extend an invite to the party but not the actual wedding? 
Posted by kmilon01[/QUOTE]

Yes, that would be rude. Especially since it is not immediate family only, so you're basically telling these additional friends "You're good enough to buy me a gift, but not to see me get married and have fun afterward."

staceycaine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-invite-but-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fdfb52fa-f0fd-43a5-9352-effa9f322c30Post:794ee20a-ff8e-4956-a563-ff283c11b6f3">Re: Bachelorette invite but no wedding invite</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree with everyone else. Skip the bach party and have girls night out with your friends instead. Then you can invite as many people as you like.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

This. But just to be clear--it has nothing to do with the wedding. No cute sashes/tiaras, no presents, etc. It's just a girls' night out to celebrate friends 'n stuff.

Sp2012

I had an acquaintance who was from overseas and married in her home country.  Her MOH who I was closer friends with arranged a bridal shower and bachelorette.  MOH made home cooked ethnic food, which was tasty, but she also charged all of us guests $15 too!  I participated in the shower but skipped out on the bachelorette activities.  I had no idea it was bad etiquette back then, but I definitely was not happy with being invited to spend money and pay for my own meal and not be invited to the wedding.  Major faux pas on the part of the MOH.  On the other hand I could have chosen to note participate at all since she wasn't a close friend.

Gabrielle76

That seems sort of backward to me.  I think the gist is "all the people I care about are coming to the wedding, and closer people are also coming to the bridal shower/bachelorette party.' not the other way around. 

redheadfsu

I had a destination wedding (it was just the two of us, no guests). I turned down showers and a bach party, because allowing people to pre-celebrate/ pre-party an event they are not invited to is really rude.


It is like inviting people to tailgate at your house for a football game, but then once the game starts you kick them out. If they are are not allowed to stay for the actual game (wedding),  then you shouldn't invite them to watch the pre-game at your house (the pre-wedding parties).

ginadog

I'm having a small (50-60ish) destination wedding in WY, and pretty much no one from my town is invited.  Just immediate family and close friends (who all happen to move away!) live far from me.  I do have acquaintences here that I hang out with socially here in town, but our venue has a 75 max.  Because of this, I too have to forgoe bach. parties and showers (not that anyone offered anyway) with some local friends.  You can have a girls night out - honestly I do not know how different a girls night out would be from some people's bach parties.  I envision them kind of the same!  Nix the wedding talk though?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd probably do some kind of cocktail party/holiday party/BBQ after the wedding at your house if you want to see everyone in one place. And not make it a wedding event. That way no one is confused about whether they're invited, or confusing "girls' night" for a bachelorette party (I've definitely been invited to some low-key "girls' night" style bachelorette parties).