Not invited to the wedding, can i invite to the shower?

mschneid02

Background: I just moved to the area 2.5 years ago where I met my fiance and where we are getting married.  I've made a lot of nice friends here but I also have a big family and other long term friends from places where I used to live.  So, we are necessarily limiting the number of local guests that we invite.

One of my bridesmaids lives a few hours away and wants to throw me a local shower (I pretty much am not having any other showers b/c my family is scattered and no one is really local).  Is it ok to have a shower and invite these people who may or may not be inviting to the wedding?  Some of them probably expect an invite and probably most don't care either way.

It sounds weird but I'd really like a shower - i've thrown and attended tons of them and I sort of feel like it's my turn.  I don't care about the gifts persay, just the fun...

Thoughts?

danieliza1127

You really can't invite anyone to the shower who won't be invited to the wedding.  You can have a small shower though with women who will be invited.

baystateapple

It's really, really rude to invite people to the shower if they're not invited to the wedding.  I understand your saying you don't care about the gifts, but the whole point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts.  Nobody shows up to a shower empty-handed.  I can understand your really wanting a shower, but at the same time, it's just not right to invite someone to a pre-wedding party and not to the main event, do you see what I'm saying?

mschneid02

Yeah, that's sort of what I thought but I wasn't sure.

shellydiane820

No.  You cannot.

brilibby4

Negative. 

Cassandria

Nope.

stinkerbell6879

Nope. Also I completely understand because I am in the same situation, and the only shower I am having is the one my co-workers are throwing, and...I invited my co-workers also, but work showers are usually the exception.