Friend thinks she's a bridesmaid

SineadHickey

Hey guys,

So I've been lurking here for awhile. I love how all of you give straigh forward advice and I'm know I'm going to get some now, because I definitely messed up. I didn't mean to, but I lost my spine.

I got engaged awhile ago. I told one of my good, not great friends. (I see her about once a month if even.) Anyways, the day I told her I was engaged, instead of congratulating me she let out a big squeel and said "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be the maid of honor!" I know what I should have done right there, but instead I just let out a nervous laugh and sort of turned away.

She has now gone around telling all of our mutual friends she is the MOH.

I do not even want this girl to be a BM. We are not that close and there's a lot of things I don't like about her. What the heck am I supposed to do now? I know I messed up by not handling it right then and there. Any ideas on how to fix it?

Thanks!

Rosie109

Honestly you know what to do. I think you want to know how to do it. I don't know the girl, you do, so come up with a way to let her down gently.

Not really advice but what can you expect?

jesibel14

Don't have her in the wedding.  You didn't formally ask her, though you definitely should have spoken up when she assumed she would be your MOH.  Still, I would not have someone in my wedding soley bc they assumed that they would be.

I do have to say I find it odd that she automatically assumed that she'd be your MOH when you don't even consider her close enough to have her as a BM...

squirrly

Call her, asap.

"Hey, Lisa, I'm so sorry.  I feel like a dunce.  i haven't done the bridal party at all, or thought out who I want to ask to be bridesmaids or the maid of honor.  I think you mentioned it once, off hand, and I mistook it for a joke.  I really don't want to hurt your feelings, but I just realized that we weren't on the same page.  I hope you understand."

She's going to be disappointed.  Maybe even really upset.  Hopefully it will fade over time. 

mgietler76

If she brings it up to you just apologize for the confusion but that you were so excited the day you got engaged you didn't realize what she said and that you haven't actaully pick the WP yet. This may not work either but it's the only thing I can think of.

SineadHickey

Thanks guys I think I'll definitely saying something about mistaking it for a joke and that I'm keeping my WP fairly small, which I am. And yes jesibel14 it is a little odd that she'd think she'd be the MOH when she's not even a BM, however not completely shocking if you knew the girl.

She's basically a party girl and she literally calls everyone her Best Friend. I literally mean everyone. She'll say "oh i can't stand so and so." and that person will mention how she said they're best friends. And I always see her on facebook saying to about 5 different people a day "I miss you BFF". She really thinks the 40 people she calls her best friend, consider her, her one and only. It's a bit tiresome.

Anyways thanks for the advice guys, I really appreciate it.

Rosie109

Sounds like you don't like this chick at all.

SineadHickey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-thinks-shes-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fea82bd2-ac3d-462a-9ea0-737f3a9730b6Post:ef61a214-1c72-4bd3-a9ac-efa2c4566509">Re: Friend thinks she's a bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]Sounds like you don't like this chick at all.
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

At times true. She has some redeeming qualities. She's just a bit yonger than me and I think has some growing up to do.

SineadHickey

Yeah it's so juvenile. I remember ranking my friends, 1, 2, 3 and so on in about grade 3. Besides my FI, I do have a best friend, but everyone else are just good friends and important people in my life. I'd feel a bit silly even using the term BFF, never mind using it on 40 people. Thanks for the advice Ticosparents.

notquiteblushing

You probably should be honest with her and do what Squirrly suggests.  But I would be scared and just not talk to her for a few months and hope she catches on.