Was I Too Harsh on a Newbie?

ExpatPumpkin

There's a post over on the HM board in which the bride is upset because her FMIL has offered to pay for their HM with Amex points.  But she seems to be waffling - not letting them see how many points, browse the HM options without her, etc.  And the bride and groom - who are in their 30's - live with the parents.

I always feel bad when I may have hurt someone's feelings...  Do you think I was too harsh?

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_opps-didnt-budget-honeymoon

BlueBalloon

Not harsh at all! 32 and living with her FI's mom to save money for a wedding!? I'm pretty sure getting their own place should be more important. Some people really boggle my mind.

ExpatPumpkin

Thanks, everyone!  Now I don't feel guilty  Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

There's no way in hell Fi and I would be living together with either set of parents. In fact, I think its ridiculous that both his 30-something sisters are still living at home. But the two of us? Hell no.

My parents aren't against the "living in sin" thing and let us sleep in the same bed when we visit, but I'm pretty sure their argument would be that 2 functioning adults with an income can survive in their own house. It doesn't take a genius...

lyndausvi

While personally I can not see myself living with my family at that age, I do think that it can make sense for certain people to use that option.  Things that come to mind might be going back to school full-time, medical issues, just moved back into town and need a place to stay, saving for a downpayment, loss of job,etc.

Someone who moves home to save for their wedding needs to check their priorities.  I mean if you can't afford a wedding on without moving home, what chance to you  have to save money for something like a house?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_harsh-newbie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff0f0d54-cf1b-4079-9cd1-486022496a0bPost:d88bdcf2-ffe8-4f84-9a1b-06191081d076">Re: Was I Too Harsh on a Newbie?</a>:
[QUOTE] I mean if you can't afford a wedding on without moving home, what chance to you  have to save money for something like a house?
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Exactly. FI and I save for our own wedding, vacations, cars, and even house someday, and we do all this while actually paying rent and bills. That equate to what those cost in our area since "rent" doesn't mean paying our parents $100/month to live in their basement. Yeah it takes longer this way, but I think it's WELL worth it.

I also agree that there are circumstances that could warrant moving back home - but these two both have full time jobs.

I often wonder what people like this will do when their parents are gone someday. Can't move home or hit dad up for a few hundred bucks anymore! Maybe by the time they're 50 or 60 they'll know how to take care of themselves?

beatlesgirl25

Is anyone else wondering if this poster is real? I mean... 3 posts, just joined, picture looks like a cutout from Playboy, ridiculous story? Maybe it's just me. Either way, I think she misrepresented herself on the "snark" part.