WWYD...about bridesmaid (LONG)

AllieCat16

ok...so i was just recently a bridesmaid in my best friend from college's wedding. I was also an out of town bridesmaid...i went down for the fitting, shower and obviously the wedding. took FI 2 out of three times. Ok realize i should have only gone for the wedding (according to standards). But she has been my BF (out of town) for 10 years... I asked her to be in my wedding but she is incredibly swamped with work and may not be able to take off (because of company nonsense, which i totally understand). she won't know until closer to the event due to work if she can even take off. i am hopefully choosing my bridesmaid gowns next week. should i just tell her not to take the risk? or do i let her spend the $ in the chance that it may work out? i don't care if she cant be there for anything but the wedding..........TIA!!!

cvl105

I would leave that decision up to her.  It's her $ that she'll be wasting. If she wants to take the chance, then that's up to her. At least that's how I feel.

mbcdefg

I would leave it up to her. If she wants to risk losing the money then that's her problem, not yours.

love_jael

I would leave it up to her. She knows the date of your wedding and possibly just needs a little bit of time to figure her work things out. IMO

kewltif

Your post is all over the place.  The beginning sounds like you're angry with her, "I went down three times for her wedding!" and the end sounds like you totally understand but don't want her to waste her money.

Which one is it?

If she seriously cannot, under any circumstances, get off of work if her boss tells her no, then I would tell her not to bother.

If it is more of an issue of her getting her work done in a timely fashion and giving them advanced notice, then I would leave it up to her.

It just seems odd to me that someone wouldn't be able to take a day off of work if they give a ridiculous amount of notice and say it's for a wedding.

MarniVoice

Let her decide.  Let her know you are happy with either decision she makes and you would be just as happy having her as a guest at the wedding as being a bm. 

jaimelody

Let her decide. A lot of times people rush to say yes to being a part of a wedding when not having time to map out and understand the details and financial obligations. I would let her decide. You've already asked her to be a part of your day so she knows you want her there - if she can swing it, great - if not, she'll let you know.