Update on 'don't believe in shower' vent

BrideMaidPro

If any of you remember, I vented a few weeks back about one of my BM's mothers who was basically insulted she was invited to the shower because she did not "believe" in them.  Well, fast forward to yesterday and she 'officially' rsvp'ed...no of course, but not just a "no i can't make it." She gave my sister a speech about how she couldn't understand why she would be invited to this. Um, I don't know, maybe because I have known you since I have been in kindergarten and your daughter is a bridesmaid and one of my best friends and has been for years and years and I see you all the time?  Maybe that's why?  Don't get me wrong, I am not MAD that she is not coming, but was the speech really necessary?

Danes983

Thats rediculous.  What did you BM say? Or does she not know.  If I were your sister I would have politely said you dont need go into details on why you cant come.  We're sorry you cant make it and I know (insert your name here) will miss you being there.  That would have shut her up.

BrideMaidPro

not sure if my BM knows...she is kind of just like her mom about this stuff.  They both "hate the idea of the wedding industry."  Which is why, when I asked her to be a bridesmaid (she is still one of my best friends), I specifically said that I would not be insulted if you say no because I know you really don't like all this stuff.Instead of taking the time to think "yea, since I really hate this stuff maybe I shouldn't be a bridesmaid" she has instead decided to be one and just judge me during the entire process.lovely.

Danes983

OH boy!  Well I am so sorry for you. She should not be judging you for anything you do.  I hope you have a fabulous shower regardless!!  Dont get me wrong I hate showers (i mean dont we all get bored unless its ours?) But I would go and put a smile on my face and enjoy it. Not make the bride or the MOH feel uncomfortable.

BrideMaidPro

and can I also point out, that my mom is paying for my shower...it is not like I am asking my bridesmaids pay for some big elaborate shower for me.

kpeteley

Sorry you have to even hear this crap.  Your BM/BFF's mom sounds like a really insensitive person.  Don't take it personally. Your BM - eh- one day she will get married, and maybe her tune will change? 

uppereastgirl

That's so wrong.  And I feel bad for her daughter when she gets married!

BrideMaidPro

I doubt she will have a wedding...she'd be happy going to the courthouse.Which, of course is fine...but I don't see why you need to make me feel bad because I want a traditional wedding.

dianenjnj

i didn't read all the replies, but my feeling is to keep mum about it to your bridesmaid...it's not her fault her mom is a little off kilter!

dianenjnj

ooops...i guess i should have read further...she's a little off the track as well!bet her tune changes when it's her turn.

BrideMaidPro

I am def not bringing it up.  It is done, no big deal and if I bring it up then she will just think I am mad that she is not coming which is certainly NOT the case.It just annoys me because I am a very paranoid person about imposing on people.  I hate the idea of people feeling like I am forcing them to do a chore...so by her saying that, I immediately start thinking like...who else is annoyed.I would never want people to think that I ONLY invited them so I could like..get a gift.  The fact that you were invited to my shower and wedding is not supposed to be a PUNISHMENT!

velveena

My BM's mother was insulted she HADN'T been invited to my small low-key shower!!  Luckily my BM covered for me and said "Oh I just never gave you your invite" lol.  That is pretty sad, sorry!  Just let it go & ignore the woman.

melissa82

So rude! But don't worry, she is definitely not the norm and no one else is put out they were invited. There's always one!