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Poll: Chivalry

Is it an antiquated notion or do you appreciate a man holding the door for you or giving up his seat?

Re: Poll: Chivalry

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    edited December 2011
    appreciate, and DH does those things regularly :-)
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    edited December 2011
    I'll be honest, while I don't need or expect a man to open the door for me I think the proper thing to do is to at least hold the door behind you so it doesn't shut in my face. And, while I would never take them up on the offer I do appreciate it when a man offers is seat on the crowded ferry. But it really does amaze me that a lot of men don't do either of these things these days. One man actually sat in his seat, with his bag up on the seat next to him while a very pregnant woman stood the entire ride. I thought that was redic.
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    edited December 2011
    Appreciate it.
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    edited December 2011
    I think holding the door is something that SHOULD be done. There is one guy at work that literally will let the door slam in my face- and when I hold it for him he doesn't even say TY. That's just rude. When a guy gives up his seat I think it's so sweet and shows he is a gentleman. I have trained my FI well and when he remembers he will open my car door. It's getting him back to his sweetheart ways at the beginning of our relationship that I need back (altho very unlikely)- like buying flowers out of no where and all the sweet things he did.
    *~allie~*

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    Laurms15Laurms15 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I appreciate it. FI is good about it. His parents trained him well.
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    edited December 2011
    I appreciate it and thank whoever does it for me, but I am also not going to stand at a closed door waiting for a man to come and open it for me as well.  I like doing stuff for myself, but it is nice when someone does it for me.
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    dandb925dandb925 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Appreciate it. I don't expect it, but it's nice when it happens.
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    edited December 2011
    I appreciate it.

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    edited December 2011
    I think holding a door is something a man should do for you.  I also think if 2 women walk through its nice for the first to hold the door open for the second.  Giving up a seat is a tough one.  I dont expect a man to give up his seat for me on a bus because i am a young able person but if I were older or pregnant then they should.
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel very bad when a man gives up his seat, unless I'm clearly struggling.  I think it is polite to give a seat up to someone who is pregnant/disabled/elderly/otherwise struggling, but I don't think gender has to do with that.  I also think it is nice when people hold the door for me (particularly when I'm struggling), but that goes for men or women.  I guess I think it is nice to do nice things for people, and I appreciate them, but I think people should be nice and polite to everyone?
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    edited December 2011
    agree with ffbride - I hold doors for anyone though - man, woman, child etc.  I get annoyed when people don't say thank you -
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    edited December 2011
    I agree that the polite/right thing to do for a man or a woman is to hold the door for the person behind you, but honestly it bothers me so much more when a man doesn't hold the door.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I appreciate it and thank whoever does it for me, but I am also not going to stand at a closed door waiting for a man to come and open it for me as well. I like doing stuff for myself, but it is nice when someone does it for me.Ditto Holly. I don't care if someone doesn't give up his seat for me. The gesture is appreciated but I never accept it. Anyone should get up for a pregnant woman or an elderly person or a disabled person, though. I'd be a jerk if I didn't offer my seat, same as a man.
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    edited December 2011
    I def appreciate it. I get so used to not opening doors when i am with syn that i kind of stand there if im out with other male friends..lol then i apologize for not opening the door.I dont think i have seen him give up his seat for a younger woman but he always does for pregnant ladies add older women and men.  People typically stare at him like he is crazy or smile bc they arent used to seeing it.

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    dominoe611dominoe611 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    its not expected but definitely appreciated!  DH is very good about this.  i also think it is just common courtesty to offer up your seat for the elderly, disabled or pregnant. seabass - don't get me started!  there is a complete lack of chivalry and respect, especially on the 158 bus!  i have seen many a pregnant woman have to stand a long bumpy bus ride and people just turn their head.
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    edited December 2011
    Appreciate it and DH does this on a regular basis
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    edited December 2011
    I appreciate this.  And DH is VERY much like this (not only with me, but with all women, old or young)
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Men (usually in their 20s-40s) would offer to give up seats for me all the time on the bus that I would take to work when I lived on the UES.  Never on the subway though.  People aren't nearly as civil on the subway.
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    edited December 2011
    Man or Woman I always appreciate people holding the door for me etc.  People are so effing rude I find it unbelievable sometimes.  I have literally had someone go in to a store look back and see me almost at the door, but I guess not fast enough for them and just let the door close.
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    edited December 2011
    I definitely appreciate it.
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    lemonlipslemonlips member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I absolutely appreciate it. But I appreciate politeness in general. I can't stand when you're walking through a door and the person in front of you lets it slam in your face. I also think its just "right" to give up your seat for elderly and pg ppl.
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    edited December 2011
    nope, i still expect it.
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    FutureMrsF111FutureMrsF111 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with uppereast when it comes to everyone else....as for FI he usually gets the door, opens my car door when he is afraid I will get or give a door ding to someone else because he parked too close to another car, i dont expect him to give up a seat because if we are on a subway or bus i would prefer him to sit because he has a really bad back. FI also always goes through revolving door first and stays in untl Im out and gets into elevators first so I can get out first but that is because I am scared of both of those things. He also always goes behind me going up an escalator and in front of me going down. His mom and sister trained him very well.
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    edited December 2011
    I appreciate it....and I also hold the door open for elderly people and women with a carriage eventhough I dont get a thank you all the time. This is the way I was brought up... I hate it when people slam the door right in my face
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    edited December 2011
    Regardless of gener (but esp a male) if you are in front of me, you better hold the door...I think that is very rude and have already taught my son that you always hold the door for someone -- so much though, that he literally stands there at DD holding the door for like 30 people That being said, I would definitely say something if a preg woman was standing on bus, ferry, train, etc. and no one would get up for her DH is a big time gentleman and very chivalrous...I don't think I could be married to someone who wasn't to me its very important in a man
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    edited December 2011
    Appreciate it. I get angry at the women who get angry at chivalrous men and say, "I can do it myself." Yeah, I can do it myself too, but I appreciate when a man does it.
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    edited December 2011
    I totally appreciate it. My FI is so funny because he goes out of his way to open the car door for me, but always forgets are drops the door in my face when we walk into buildings. What a dope!
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    melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In SF it's a law that you have to give up your seat to a senior citizen or disabled person if you're sitting and they have to stand. There were a couple of times where people were reading books and didn't notice right away and other people would definitely say something to them.To answer your question, I appreciate when anyone holds the door, etc., and I try to do the same for others.
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