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Would you remarry?

Inspired by the confessions poll.
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Re: Would you remarry?

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I voted yes at any age, but that's more of an answer of "I'd be open to it." I don't know how long it would take me to recover, though.

    FFIL was widowed about 6 years ago and it's just sad to see how introverted he's been since then. He was always a very shy, quiet person, but now (especially since he had to retire for medical reasons) it just seems like he's got nothing left to live for. I'm not saying he's suicidal or anything, but he just has absolutely no interest in making friends or joining social groups or even going out with me and FI ... he just sits at home and watches television all. day. long.

    Meanwhile, my grandmother's been widowed for 40+ years and she's got a very active life - social clubs, friends, trips, reading, keeping an immaculate home. I was talking to her about FFIL recently and she gave a sad little laugh and said, "Women cope with it so much better than men do. Men are lost without women."
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    kewltifkewltif member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    As absolutely morbid as this is, DH and I have talked about it on occasion.  He says unequivocally that he would want me to remarry and "be happy."  I have to say the thought of him remarrying if I passed does bother me a little bit, but when I really think about it, why should he live alone the rest of his life?
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    smw42smw42 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I tell FI all the time to eat healthier or he's going to have a heart attack (in all seriousness). He then replies and jokes that with each piece of bacon I'm one day closer to getting an Audi from the life insurance policy. It is awful awful awful.
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    JulepheniaJulephenia member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Special Snowflake.

    I'll be honest, I'm a complete wreck without FI. We've done distance, we've both had to go on trips alone... and I can't sleep well without him (unless I'm at one of my parents'), I certainly eat much less healthily without him (he's the cook in the relationship)... so, yeah. I mean, I'd hope I'd be able to recover and find someone else (I know I'd keep going because of my career), but I'm not sure my heart would ever recover.

    So... yeah. Thank god he's healthy as a horse - and while 3/4 of his grandparents died well before I met him, we just buried his maternal grandmother at 93 1/2 years old. He's got some longevity in him.
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    melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think I really have any idea how I'd feel. I imagine so much of it would depend on your relationship with your husband and how it changed your attitude toward marriage (did you have a horrible marriage as time went on?), how long you were together (a year? 60 years?), the circumstances surrounding his death (was it sudden and tragic? did he commit suicide and you feel it's your fault? did he die while with his mistress?), and so on and so on...there are just so many factors that I don't think I could even answer and know with any degree of certainty that it's what I'd really do.
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    edited December 2011
    I have no idea how I will feel about it , god forbid it ever happens.
     
    My mother did date after my dad, but she was young when he died -28. My grandparents none of them remarried.
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    edited December 2011
    Totally.  My father passed almost 3 years ago, and my mother is just dipping her toes in the dating pool again.  She was widowed at 56.  I would not expect her to spend the rest of her life alone.  I hope she meets someone.  And lord forbid I ever end up in that situation myself, I would want to meet someone and marry again myself.
    Holly & Brendan
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    edited December 2011
    I think it would depend.  I wouldn't marry just to get married again, but if another special someone came along then I'd consider it.  

    *knocks on wood*

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    kikijbird ~ Erica (aka Kiki) & Paul ~ 24 April 2010
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    edited December 2011
    I would....and I would also hope Mike would find someone he would be happy again with and remarry if I was to pass away.  Life is too short to be lonely.
    ~Chelsea~
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    leah2bleah2b member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Chelsea - right on point.  Just because someone dies doesn't mean that you EVER forget them or they somehow become less special.  Life is a short journey and, likewise (not to sound morbid) death is a journey we all must take eventually.  My father died recently and this really brought it home to me.  I really miss him and I really look forward to seeing him again when my time comes.  But you also need to keep on living during this short journey that we have and grasp happy moments wherever we can find them. Life can also get tougher when we get older.  Family members die, friends die.  It is nice to have a partner there while we can - be it a second marriage or whatever.
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    felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Don't know if I could.  My FI is the only true love I have ever known.  I can't imagine my life without him.  He travels a lot for work and sometimes for weeks at a time where I can't even speak to him.  When he leaves it is really hard, I always feel like I am missing something and my heart just hurts. While I don't think I would want to be alone I don't know if I could ever love anyone else they way I love him.  I guess it would depend on a lot of things, some of which have been mentioned. 
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    DS0305DS0305 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's really hard to say since I'm not in the situation.  I don't think I would want to be with anyone other than MH, but then I also wouldn't want to live my life being lonely.  I guess if the right person came along, I wouldn't be opposed to getting remarried.  I would just hope this is never the case!
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